(not) Writing Fanfiction
I need to rant and perhaps it'll also be something interesting for you.
Three years ago (gosh time flies), I started to be very interested in My Hero Academia and two years ago I started working on Beginning to fight with a friend.
The basics of the story
It's a entire rewrite of My Hero Academia in different points of view. The four principal points of view are Izuku, Reiko (Shoto as a trans catgirl), Hitomi (transgirl) and Momo (transgirl).
Izuku is quirkless and doesn't take All-Might's quirk when asked to.
And that's all I am allowed to share without spoiling.
My struggles
At the beginning, Logan and I got to publish about one chapter every one to two weeks.
However, since february 2022, I struggle even writing two phrases in a month. I never find time and when I've got time I am just so tired or overwhelmed I just can't write the best story I ever started.
I don't know if it's the depression or my sudden and violent lost of any special interest, yes, even Star Wars.
Guilt
The amount of guilt I feel about that is immense. I like this story so much, I like writing so much and I like My Hero Academia so much, yet my brain refuses to let me do things like this...
Instead I pass my days on youtube trying to make time go away.
I've tried so many ways to perhaps get on with this story yet any solution seems to work once only and then my brain doesn't let itself being tricked again. To be honest, I spend more time wondering how I could be pushing myself to write, than I spend time actually writing.
Help
Please, if you're a writer who's experienced this, I need your help. I just can't get further like this.
Do you have any trick ? Anything that might help me getting out of this state of nothingness ?
You'd quite literally help me cure part of my depression