I'm Here

Several factors are colluding and pretty much necessitating that I make some changes for my physical and mental health. I'm starting to get winded after alarmingly little exercise, and being high all day is becoming more of a burden than a crutch, so I really need to cut down on the weed and start doing 30 minutes of cardio each day. I also had my first session with a trauma-informed therapist today, and he advised me to do ten minutes of meditation each day, so there's another reason to cut out the weed.

I'm not very good at sticking to habits like these, but I think it will help if I keep thinking of the problems and solutions as all interrelated, as I just described. Once again, I feel like I'm starting a new period of my life, with new habits and attitudes, and the changes seem to be coming about naturally, in a weird way. It's surely because of a lot of hard work on my part, but I also feel like I'm just maturing out of things that have served me poorly at best. With the exception of the past couple years, I don't think I've been happy in 20 years, since I was 19.

I've been dreading turning 40, and I'm still not looking forward to it, but there are certainly worse ways to start a fifth decade.