How many days have I lost? How many days will I gain?
As I approach my 40th birthday, I happen to find myself also desperately needing to quit drinking, so this has been a reflective time for me. I feel like the past 20 years have been tainted and partially lost to my drinking, and I'd like to pass this benchmark looking forward to a very different 20 years (god willing).
And so I want this to be my mantra every time I consider reaching for a drink. I like it because it boils the matter down in a way that makes sense to me. I can't deny that alcohol has stolen months, possibly years, from my early adulthood. I count as stolen all the days I was too hungover to function, all the days I spent hating myself, all the days I spent frantically fixing or covering up some drunken fuckup.
Definitely years.
It is a fact that alcohol has only subtracted from and never added to my life. By never drinking again, I'm virtually adding days to my life and losing nothing. Never touching a drink again adds everything and subtracts nothing.
How many days will I gain? Probably even more than I lost. I find the thought encouraging, anyway.