Tired
I was just thinking about how I have nobody to talk to, and then I remembered that I have this blog. It's been an emotionally draining few weeks. Nothing particularly dramatic going on, just everything seems to be going slighty wrong or sideways in one way or another. My wife and I have another “divorce” fight. Long, draining road trip. Big, teary makeup session. A small professional setback. I get another batshit email from my mother. I process an important childhood experience. A health flare-up. Therapy.
And any time I'm not dealing with a crisis, I'm trying to catch up on household tasks that the previous crisis kept me from.
And stellar energy and emotional resilience aren't exactly my baseline.
I definitely need to rest, but I feel silly saying that, because I've spent much of my time bedridden (couchridden). I need to reset, which means couching it for a little while longer, as much as I hate doing so. I've always been a low-energy person who needs a lot of rest (thanks CPTSD); I take things slowly because rushing is triggering to me. So anything that slows me down is only compounding an existing problem, and I have things I want to accomplish.