jennjxn

I just had the most rewarding experience. I don't want to put myself at the center of it or share someone else's story, but I do want to share something. When I was first thrust into facilitation work, I was terrified and felt like such an imposter.

The only way I knew how to move through it was to admit to myself and to groups that I was going to screw up. Maybe a lot. I was going to screw up, but I was going to continue to show up and grow up in front of everyone because we all need role models of becoming.

At the root we are all scared of not knowing, of doing the wrong thing, of causing unintentional harm, of being perceived as caring too much, of being perceived as not caring enough, of being raw, real human beings vulnerable to the thoughts and feelings of others.

It's such contradictory conundrum that we insist on doing it alone, hidden away from the judgement of others.

Because we ourselves have lacked the modeling of being imperfect in earnest, we deprive others the same and we continue a cycle that makes being a curious, compassionate, available person feel psychologically unsafe. Which then creates spaces of real psychological unsafety for the most vulnerable, the marginalized, and the oppressed.

So, maybe you feel like a fraud. Maybe you feel like a clown. And maybe everybody really is watching.

But that's important. That's the point. It's the lesson. You're the role model. It's okay to not know. That's what questions are for. And when people can take their focus off of their own insecurities, they are empowered by their own vulnerability to safeguard the vulnerability of others.

I'm so grateful for today. It's truly been an edifying experience.