My Self-Hosting Realizations and Strategy
Introduction
Over time, I've experimented with self-hosting a range of services—particularly Fediverse platforms—and discovered through trial, error, and burnout that not everything that can be self-hosted should be. Here's a reflection on what I've learned, what I’ll keep, and what I’ll let go of.
The Ideal vs. the Reality
I started with the idea that if software is open source and self-hostable, I should host it myself. The promise was enticing:
- I own my data.
- I control my presence.
- I don’t depend on corporations.
But the reality is messier:
- Federation is not free — it comes with server strain, disk bloat, and moderation burdens.
- Running a public Fediverse instance, even just for myself, means dealing with spam, storage issues, federation bugs, and performance headaches.
- Self-hosting doesn’t just give me power — it demands responsibility I wasn’t always ready for.
I learned that freedom includes the freedom to not take on more than I can sustain.
Lessons from Hosting Fediverse Instances
Mastodon
- Every time I tried to host Mastodon with a broader federation scope, my server ballooned in disk usage. One time it hit 90GB out of 100GB within a single day.
- I thought running a big instance would make me feel less alone online. Instead, it made me feel exhausted and fragmented.
- I also kept migrating or deleting instances. Maybe my online friends got tired of trying to follow me as I hopped between accounts and domains.
Lemmy, Pixelfed, Mitra, WriteFreely
- I tried them all, often running several at once.
- They’re cool platforms, but running too many federated apps at once drained my system resources and my attention span.
- Federation creates technical debt — and emotional labor, especially when things break or I feel the pressure to moderate.
The Deeper Realization
I don’t need to host the whole Fediverse. Just because it's open source doesn’t mean it belongs on my VPS. I can support the ecosystem by using it, donating to projects and admins, and contributing in ways that fit my energy level.
What I’m Keeping
1. A Minimal Mastodon Instance
- I’ll keep one Mastodon instance for myself.
- I’ll configure it in single-user mode, with public timelines off and registrations closed.
- I’ll limit federation using
allowed_domainsand avoid relays. - I’ll actively manage media and statuses to avoid disk bloat.
- I’ll use it as my digital journal, not a community platform.
2. Email via YunoHost
- YunoHost has a built-in mail server, and I can generate as many addresses as I need.
- I’ll use those to sign up for other Fediverse instances if needed.
- This lets me engage in the broader network without having to run every node myself.
What I’m Letting Go Of
- I no longer feel obligated to host everything I can.
- I will not self-host large federated apps I don’t actively use or can’t sustain (like Lemmy or Pixelfed).
- I will not run an open instance unless I have the energy and resources to handle moderation, abuse, and maintenance.
I’ve tried it. I know what it feels like. I don't owe anyone the labor of a free, open, federated social network just because I can type git clone.
My Current Stack and Strategy
Hosting (on a 8GB RAM / 100GB VPS)
- Mastodon (lightweight, solo use)
- YunoHost core system
- Email server (for me only)
- Possibly:
- BookStack or WonderCMS (not both)
- HedgeDoc for Markdown note-taking
- LibreSpeed and Shell (httpsh) for utilities
Apps I’ve Removed or Will Avoid:
- Lemmy
- Pixelfed
- Mitra
- WriteFreely (if not in use)
- Owncast
- Redundant CMS apps
- Any app that federates heavily without high personal benefit
Personal Philosophy Going Forward
I am hosting intentionally, not exhaustively.
I am not here to perform digital sovereignty, but to practice it with sanity.
I believe in self-hosting when it empowers me, not when it distracts me.
I support open-source projects by using them, donating when I can, and choosing to be part of the network without having to run the entire infrastructure myself.
My server is no longer a playground. It’s a garden. And I’ll tend only what I can care for.