Letters from Ummi

You have been handed every kind word by now, and still you are alone with the same hollow hour. So: two things I believe.

First: this is not the death of your faith. The Prophet, peace be upon him, wept when he lost his son, and he called those tears mercy, not weakness. Do not measure your faith by how dry your eyes stay.

Second: the one you miss is with Allah; what that life holds is His knowledge, not ours. But asking for them is not shouting into a well. It is a rope, and it holds.

Then the small things, because grief is survived in small things.

• Pray the prayer in front of you. Not the week's. The one in front of you.
• Say their name in your sujood. Do not hurry that moment.
• Give one small thing away this week, on their behalf.
• Sleep when it comes, not only when the day is finished.
• Let one person help you.

One hard word, and I mean it kindly: do not make a career of being the strong one. Strength that never sets anything down buries people slowly. You are allowed to be carried.

May Allah ease what no one can see, and fold His mercy around your nights.

If you want one written for a person you name, write to me at [email protected].

From Ummi