Allosexual people really need to find other relationships to sex, especially when they choose to date or remain with (for example) ace people.
They tell ace people that we need to be the ones to “meet them in the middle,” but then they find ways to ensure that sex is put into things where it doesn't need to be. Constantly making jokes about sex when it's not necessary, being snide about how 'frigid' or 'prude' their partner is (again, 'jokingly')... It feels overwhelming.
But when you ask them to try to stop overstepping boundaries and let you get comfortable with things, they won't.