Being in a relationship with a cis man, particularly one who sees himself as “not like other cis men,” makes my life so much harder and more difficult.
He always makes me feel like cis men, especially cishet men, just have no desire to question anything and that they will find every excuse to avoid doing so. They have no desire to question their relationship to society's definition of masculinity or what “masculine” even means. Rather than challenging what it means or who can access “masculinity,” they'd rather just continue to succumb to society's demands and pretend it's purely out of their own identity.
They have no desire to question their relationship to sex and how that makes other people uncomfortable, including people who they want to have sex with. And full offense, but that does not make anyone want to have sex with them. If anything, the increased discomfort makes people want to avoid having sex with them. I do not want to have sex with someone who talks about it with such disrespect and talks as if every person they desire sexually is an object.
They have no desire to question gender and how they see other people, even if they're tentatively supportive of gender non-conforming people. Hearing a cis man constantly refer to my genitalia and relate it to the gender he perceives me to be (seeing me as 'a woman' despite being agender)... makes me sick, and it makes me feel as if he doesn't see me for who I am. I'm just, to him, a 'pussy to stick it in'.
And even if he doesn't actually feel that way, it's what he says. When I say that it bothers me, I'm “funny” because I “get fussy over little things.”
But if they bother me this much... How are they 'little'?