Genuinely feel that patriarchal structures have enforced a “solve problem” mindset for every conversation. Which is so fucking obnoxious. I want to be able to name a collective problem and discuss it without asking for someone to solve my personal issue.
When I'm trying to explain why there are a lot of resistant people to, say, switching to Linux and how that could be addressed via a collective strategy? And I'm like, “Look, if Linux users just did like monthly or bi-monthly 'Linux Days' somewhere and had a bunch of laptops with a bunch of Linux distros installed? And people could come use them and ask questions and actually discuss it and get comfortable with it? I bet you'd see a lot more people getting involved. Especially if it was geared and marketed toward low-information people instead of Linux Veterans.”
I don't fucking need you to be like, “Well, I could set up some distros on a USB so that you can try them and see which one you like before you install it.”
First, I didn't ask for that. Second, it doesn't fucking address the goddamned problem that we were having a conversation about! You want to know why people don't switch, but you also want to personally thrust your solution (THAT I DIDN'T ASK FOR) in my face.
Cis men, collect yourselves and realise that your style of communication? Is not the rest of ours. And if you're not a cis man and do this, also collect yourselves and unlearn some patriarchal communication structures.
Here's a simple way to start: Before you start giving unsolicited advice, ask a question about the purpose of the conversation and the goals of the other person. “Do you need help installing Linux, and do you want my opinions or assistance?” will go over much better than just trying to solve a problem that no one asked for help with (especially because they've likely had THAT VERY SOLUTION thrown at them any time they try to be like, “Yo, I think the so-called activism of Linux dweebs to getting people to switch away from Windows is pretty garbage for these reasons...”).