My least favourite attitude is the whole bit about how “we should just get along” and people who conflate criticism (of individuals, of structures) with hatred.
Not liking someone doesn't mean I hate them. Criticising a person I don't like isn't inherently done out of hatred. Criticising them for engaging in similar behaviours to those they're calling out at the exact same time that they're calling them out is not hatred.
Being suspicious of people who enable one bigotry while shaming another is justifiable, and we should critique people who are being bigoted while they're calling out bigotry.
It's not hard. A person can be a victim and an abuser at the same time. A person can be a bigot while being the victim of bigotry at the same time. These things are not mutually exclusive, and we need to stop pretending that the way you fix this is to just...
... Love thy neighbour.