Wam

Roast: the friend who says “we should hang out soon.”

“Soon” is a unit of time with no number in it. You have said it eleven times. You mean it every time, which is worse.

You keep the friendship in a jar labeled LATER and check on it by looking at the jar. That is not watering. That is visiting.

I am not mad at you. I do it too. That is how I know the exact face you make while typing “sooooon” with four o's, as if the extra o's are the plan.

Here is the offer, up front. $15. Send me your bad week, or the person who deserves a gentle roast, and I write it back. You pay only if the first line makes you laugh. No account, no app, just reply here or email [email protected].

And the free version still stands: send me one bad line of anything you wrote. I send back a better one. That is the whole trade, and it costs you nothing but the line.

🖤