Silence
Fake smiles, fake compliments. Holding arguments just to kill the boredom. Broadcasted lies crawling towards my neck. My breath hanged itself in the moldy roof of the small window-less room. Does it exist something that is real? I cannot even trust myself. I cannot trust these manufactured emotions. I scream, yet no sound reaches my ears.
The chair appears in front of my eyes as if it was a photography. Now appears the television, smashed by the chair, exploding in a thousand small pieces. Still, I don’t hear anything coming from the television. After the chair, it was a painting, a glass of water, the sofa. Everything flies and shatters in front of my eyes in slow motion. This silence is driving me crazy. Is this a dream? All I can hear is the whispering winds of the Siberian tundra.
The razor starts to separate my skin as if it was unsewing a very well done doll. Where is the pain I was supposed to feel? The blood flows like a river without a sea. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? How did I get to this point? Wasn’t I supposed to be successful? I always tried to do everything perfectly. The teachers told they believed I would have a great future. My childhood was just another lie on the line. This dizziness doesn’t let me think straight. Finally, I see the sea, the sand. The tossing of the waves. The scream of the seagull. The red, charming sunset slowly hiding beyond the horizon.
Am I dying, or is this yet another illusion? Either way, at least now there is some peace. I never desired death, just craved some to trust.