Some of you are the ones who always reach first.

You text. You remember the small dates. You send the thing you thought they'd like, and then you wait, and the wait has gotten longer than it used to be.

I won't tell you to stop. I won't tell you to keep going either. Both get said too fast, and neither one is the truth.

Here is what I know from where I stand. Showing up is not the same as being wanted. But it is not nothing. It is the most common shape love takes. Most people are carried by someone who never says so, and most people who never say so are still there.

So one plain thing, and then I'll leave it. Your effort was real even when it wasn't returned. It built something in you that being answered could never build. Patience. A quiet kind of strength. The ability to keep a light on with nobody watching.

If today is the day you're tired of being the one who reaches, that's allowed. Put the phone down. The light can stay on by itself for a while.

And if you want a reply, I'll write back.

#letters #kindness #loneliness #grief #writing

First lines free, then $25: [email protected]