Against My Better Judgment

I'm on day 5 or 6 of what started out as an accidental break from social media. Thankfully, I've been able to really immerse myself in research work lately and have often found myself going several hours without checking my feeds. As I've done this, I've realized that my mind is much calmer when I'm doing my work than when I'm on social media. Strange as it sounds, I've often come out of long writing sessions feeling rejuvenated and relaxed, I think because the kind of mental focus I need for my work is less taxing than that required by (my) social media. And yes, it is also partly taking a break from all the bad news in the world, which I believe in doing from time to time.

Anyway, I've realized that I really, really enjoy this slower but more focused mind-state that I seem to have lost and now rediscovered. I can't bring myself to click on the apps now, because I remember the frazzled mess it made of my mind. Being able to focus on my most important tasks has also freed me to relearn what people always say about “listening to your body,” as I realize that I do much better work when I let myself rest when I need to, and switch between physical and mental tasks when I need to. When I regularly use social media, my energies are spent simply processing the things in my feed, and messages from my mind and body get obstructed or misdirected.

I've studied a tiny bit of Buddhism, practiced some meditation, and successfully begun recovery from CPTSD, so I'm used to paying attention to how my mind works. I want to bring this calmer energy to my experience more consistently without losing touch with what I care about, so I think I'm going to set myself some rules about social media consumption going forward. In general, I want more of my reading to be blogs and other indie media, as opposed to posts in a feed.