22 03 21 [09:00]
These fucking guys. I've got another debate on in the background. I'm not really listening to it much as I get everything done for the morning. Well I sort of am now as I'm typing this. I'm watching a debate moderated by Dylan Burns. I usually like Dylan Burns
. He's just a very good moderator and generally knows what he's talking about. The debates often hurt my brain, though. I mean they're incredibly performative, it just goes with the Twitch/Youtube/Twitter/etc. platforms. They're kind of shit sometimes. I can't listen to that noise regularly.
I'm drinking more coffee today than yesterday. I don't think I had enough. The most important thing for my well-being in general is sleep but I have only so much control over that. My meds help more than anything in regard to sleep.
I feel like I need to spread some of my negativity for a change. I try to keep it inside of me because I don't want to have negative impacts on people I interact with. Though I'm wondering recently whether that's actually the thing to do. I've tried "being an asshole" to some people close to me recently and it seems to have improved some situations. Of course it isn't like I'm going off unprovoked just to take my unrelated frustrations out on other people. I was just saying what my thoughts were and the people around me were kind of treating me like shit so my thoughts weren't very pleasant. When someone isn't willing to talk to you privately about something but they complain to other people about you, I don't know of another way to handle it. Seems like all you can do is to avoid not bringing things up when it's socially inappropriate, seeing as they're effectively blocking any situation where it would be appropriate to bring certain things up from ever happening. Whatever, though. I'm just going to remove my filter for a little while and see how that goes. I have high hopes.