2022/10/30 #poetry After deep consideration, I feel that the moment has passed. That I will not have the opportunity to live the experience for which I asked. That now that it is over I must make myself anew. That the self that failed to actualize must be bid adieu. Should I take the time to grieve it, or will that interfere with letting go of what is lost but is currently still held so dear? Should I throw myself into new goals or let this stand a while? Becoming comfortable with emptiness while still holding a smile. Are there aspects I can update? Make the old into the new? Should I extract some pieces to keep around after review? Will I end up going in circles if I don't make a clean cut? Am I dooming myself to torture if I don't keep the past book shut? Is it better to drift forward or make a really concrete plan? Will my outcomes be improved if well thought out before began? I could deliberate forever but that is how I got to here so I'm finishing and starting and I want to make it clear that the old that I have finished with and the new that I will start are foundations for my future and will both play a part in all of the decisions that I make forever hence because that is the only way that can make any sense.