2022/2/20 This blonde walks into a bar. The bartender asks “what can I get for you?” The blonde replies “I'm just looking for a restroom.” The bartender lets her know “the restroom is only for customers.” The blonde negotiates “I really don't need anything other than the toilet. What if I tell you a really good joke instead?” The bartender accedes “Only if it's really good. I shouldn't but I can't turn down a good joke.” So the blonde starts: “This blonde walks into a bar. She sits down on the stool next to a stranger and asks “If I can make you laugh will you buy me a drink?”” “I'm going to stop you right there.” intercedes the bartender, “This sounds like it's going to re-present the situation we're in now.” “That's part of the joke.” responds the blonde, and continues: “The stranger considers, then pontificates “Something makes me laugh approximately every 5 minutes in here. Considering how much drinks cost I wouldn't say that's worth it.”” The bartender intercedes again “What I'm really worried about is how many levels deep you are planning to take this.” The blonde just gives a knowing smile and continues: “The blonde reasons “This probably won't be categorically funnier than those things but unlike those humorous situational moments that are only funny if you are there, this will be a tale you can take with you and gain social currency by telling it again and again.”” “The stranger accepts “That clarification does make this seem like a fair wager. I'll take you up.”” “The blonde begins: “So, as everyone knows, when you finally get to the front of the line, the cashier at Ye Olde Corner Coffee Megacorp ask you for your name so that they can call for you when your order is up. Sometimes they write it on the cup to make sure they don't mix up the drinks. This adds a whole 'nother level of possibility to the already complex difficulty of getting peoples names correct when spoken at normal volume in a loud environment as once it has been transcribed by hand it may be hard to read as well. There was a discussion that I was privy to recently about this whole issue. One of the participants said they were working on making cups with integrated biometric lip recognition devices that would only open the spout on the cup for the right mouth and you'd just imprint on the cup when your order was taken instead of giving your name and that would solve this problem but the other participants shouted them down claiming that was one of the stupidest ideas they'd ever heard, really truly the worst, and it would obviously be better to let some names be wrong sometimes than to implement a solution like that. I couldn't help but agree and by this point I was really getting hooked into the discussion but for better or worse instead of continuing to reason about how to make the cups more likely to be labeled accurately the whole thing devolved into a game of 'who could recount the most egregious instance of misspelling or mispronouncing.' This ultimately worked in my favor, despite the initial disappointment, since I uncovered some gems that really were worth digging for that I'd be happy to share with you.” She paused with raised eyebrows to assess engagement.” ““Go on.” the stranger prompted.” ““The first one that got me was how difficult it seems for many of these employees to spell Ian. I won't make you guess how that goes wrong, the best were E-e-y-o-n and E.N.” “Even better though was one response: “Grande mocha no whip for Plain. And ya know what? It’s Anne.”” “But my favorite by far was “When they ask me for my name I like to give them a number instead. I always tell em “7”. They call me Steven.“”” After a moment of dead air the bartender prompted “So?” The blonde explained “That's it, that's the punchline.” The bartender balked “But the story doesn't conclude! What happens to the blonde and the stranger, does she get her drink?” “I assume so,” muses the blonde, “it was a very funny remark.” “That's completely unsatisfying.” Erupts the bartender, “And it doesn't fit the template of a blonde joke in the first place!” “No one ever said it was a blonde joke,” retorts the blonde, “why would I, a person with blond hair, tell a joke designed to denigrate people with blonde hair?” “Because self deprecation is one way to add extra punch to your humor.” reasoned the bartender. “I find them offensive, regardless.” Pouts the blonde. “Well if that's how the joke ends I don't think I can accept it to be really good.” threatens the bartender. The blonde argues “But if the joke went on after the punchline it'd get stuck going nowhere and have to end in an unsatisfying and boring way.” “Is that so?” asked the bartender. “It's true!” exclaimed the blonde, “and if that happens it could even be accused of being an anti-joke.” “But anti-jokes don't have punchlines at all” offered the bartender. “Even if your joke isn't factually an anti-joke if you have to argue for why it is in fact not after you finish telling it I'm pretty sure that you didn't get the response you were aiming for” supplied the blonde. “Ha! That's a funny way to put it” laughed the bartender.