view2021/7/19 #poetry
After the walk, the long walk, the walk that I had not prepared for, I felt sore. I felt weakened from effort. I felt that the day had been used, time spent, in a new and worthy activity but not in any effort toward my goals. I should throw them out, those goals. They only take my peace. If I should think, as I do, that accomplishment of them should bring peace, I should also think that it is merely the end of striving that would bring it. Striving, which could also stop if I just drop it, each and every goal. Some say that habits are better than goals, that rituals and repetitive behaviors will bring the results and that the goal is just a metric. Even if you parse it this way, if your activities are in pursuit of any object they may fall short, or be yet impending and as such cause strife. If you should in true and actual fashion live each and every day for it's own sake, and verily as if it be your last, then you'd have to make a way of performing mundane and necessary tasks that enlivens you so that you have no future hopes, only to enjoy this moment and continue as you are. This trick will serve you well even when the habits do amount to something in the end; but the real prize is this contentment in the moment. It is supreme as a skill and as a goal.
view2021/7/18 #poetry
One day I'll feel good. Like I've got the reigns and know how to use them. It happens often enough.
Some day's I'll feel behind, lost, or heavy with inertia. I just have to keep telling myself it will pass, it will pass.
I may think that I'll get to a needless and wantless state soon as I complete my goals. I should heed the stories that others tell, that such a state is not even desirable and much, much harder to find than I seem to believe. That goals lead to other goals. That as you accrue achievements it becomes harder to let go than it is to take on more responsibility.
There's no place where you need not work to survive. Rising through the hierarchy in our ignoble system of socioeconomic inequality is more than likely the best bet to achieve that. Sometimes that may happen with pure luck, but for most that too takes work.
view2021/7/17
Explain to me why I should listen. Don't expect me to do it just to be polite. I require a reason that justifies the expense of my time.
You should understand that there is a very simple reason that I would say this: I don't trust you.
It's the same position you are in with any celebrity, public figure, or person of authority. The power relationship is heavily unbalanced.
If you are smart you will rebalance that power by refusing their messages and information as well. You shouldn't trust them to be mindful of your precious time any more than they trust you to be of theirs.
view2021/7/16 #poetry
I'm really interested in ooh
I wonder if it's used in other languages too
For interest
For passion
For pleasure and pain
We speak it quite often
And use it again
When we make a realization
And when we appreciate
When we think something's cute
When we react with hate
To taunt and to tease
When others do well
And when we enjoy
A delicious smell
As an exclamation
It fits anyplace
We may say it with a smile
Or scrunch up our face
Enter a warm tub
Swallow a special treat
Enjoy a foot rub
Or slide into a soft seat
You'll probably ooh
It's ok I do too
And I am convinced
It's the right thing to do
view2021/7/15 #poetry
You may guess that there's a pattern emerging. You may be right too. I don't see it yet, but maybe you do.
I'd follow your lead if you knew where to go but your confidence is lacking and your guessing is slow.
Do you like this game? Is it fun or a bore? We can play another. We don't have to keep score.
The choice will be fine anyway that you go. There's nothing to lose, it's all just a show.
Experiment, test, innovate, randomize. As they say, one can't know before one even tries.
If you make a mistake don't take it to heart. You've done more than most by the time that you start.
So begin, begin, again, and again. Don't think what to write just go pick up that pen.
view2021/7/14 #poetry
You better bet that you can and you will. If you don't then you won't and this is not a practice drill.
Get it done while you can, if you wait you'll regret. The direction is plain, no excuses or 'not yet'.
You have time to prepare but prepare for a time. Don't stretch it out or you'll be last in line.
Await no instruction, act with verve. Take a big chance if you've got the nerve.
Pull your punches? I laugh at thee. Try this knuckle sandwich, it's complimentary.
You've got the power. Use it well. Make the story of your life a good tale to tell.
It's not over yet so don't quit now. You better bet that you'll win, and how!
view2021/7/13
I seem to be more concerned with writing technology than with writing. Pens, ink, paper, graphite, pencils, brushes, language scripts, invented and alternative scripts, shorthand, longhand, constructed languages, writing training, the evolution of writing in education, stenography, keyboards, text editors, networked collaborative software, printing technology, language itself, how it can be used to influence and the social psychology of manipulation, the use of language as a social marker, prescription and banning of language as a means of assimilation, dialects and standardization of spelling.
Not just a cursory look at these either. I spend months reading about some topics. Languages and their written form is an enormous and vastly interesting field of study. Pens have evolved in a very short span of time and the ultimate pen seems to be dependent on your use case. For each type of pen technology there is a huge array of information to digest about it and a whole history of products that had various features that were used to interest customers. Fascinating, drool worthy features.
Keyboards have an even shorter history. A crazy history that just keeps getting worse. The technology is proceeding backwards in time, it seems. Musical instrumentation has evolved over some centuries to create elegant ways to manipulate strings, reeds, tubes, or membranes and ultimately the air with a somewhat user friendly interface for many of them. Type keyboards have evolved from being fairly elegant and user friendly, especially once the computer was finally the input target, to become difficult, uncomfortable, and confusing but very easy to manufacture. There is still innovation and development in this field but it does not catch on.
view2021/7/12
One time, must have been around the end of 2019, I was out riding my bike and my head started hurting. I don't often get headaches and when I do it's because something obvious is wrong, either dehydration, lack of sleep, a cold, overexertion or such. This time I was sure nothing I'd done recently would have caused it and I wasn't sick so I was at a loss of what it might be. I'd recently been having some issues with my eye and had yet to pay a visit to the doctor to find out what might be wrong and the random seeming symptoms of pain and distorted vision and weird feelings had me already wondering if something was wrong with my head. So when it started to hurt I thought it'll probably go away in about a minute like I'm used to and when it didn't I started thinking it was past time I made that appointment with the doctor, but it was tolerable so I was really just making a note to myself to make that appointment later. The pain just kept getting worse though and got to the point where I thought I wouldn't be able to wait and needed to go to the hospital right then. I gave it a few more minutes to subside on its own while I started heading toward the hospital. The route to the hospital took me right by my place and I figured I'd be needing to wait quite a long while in urgent care so I figured the best thing to do would be to grab a book from my apartment. I went up to get it and after coming through my door I took off my helmet and the pain immediately disappeared. Turns out the helmet was just too tight. You'd think that would be obvious but it was referring pain to a slightly different area of my head so I didn't make the connection.
view2021/7/11 #poetry
Hunting a scent
Following it's trail
Down through an alley
'Round the corner
Up the block
I didn't realize
until I sniffed it
But I'm starving
I should find what it is
It's way past lunch o'clock
It's bread
I'm sure
There's a bakery
I must find it
Gotta be here
somewhere
not too far
just steps away
I don't see it
But my nose is going bonkers
Perhaps it's just a neighbor
and I've been led astray
Wherever it is from
I really hope they take my money
Give me food and a warm belly
and then send me on my way
Bread bread bread bread
It's the only thing going on in my head
I don't care if it's bagels
or muffin
or cake
It could even be flapjacks
or naan for gosh sake
Just let me chew it
As long as it's baked
I'm going home
this is too much to take
view2021/7/10 #poetry
Looking back
I see
That what I've made
delights me so
I can continue
Make more and more
Allow my energy
To flow
If I want a result
Time will be used
I'll be efficient and productive
Or frustrated and confused
Check some boxes
Finish things off
So I can have time
For other fun stuff
Use time wisely
As you know
So no years seem to be missing
By the end of the show
It's all a game
So don't worry too hard
But remain attentive
And keep up your guard