“You should be glad that I even cleaned up the mess.”
But you left the house in disarray because of it. The point of cleaning is to... clean. It's not to get angry at a mundane thing and then leave the chairs in all the places we walk through, forcing me to move everything back because it's in my way. It's not about getting mad at a rug getting stuck under a door and then kicking it into a pile, leaving it for me to straighten out and put back so I don't trip over it.
I've been trying my damnedest to clean this fucking place without any help, even when I ask for it. Even when I make my complaints known. Nothing changes, nothing gets better, and all I get is told how he's “not like other men.”
It's like I live with someone entirely different from the person I moved here with, and I don't know what happened to him. I keep trying to look at the past and figure out what changed, and I can't figure out what things caused this. Or if this is who he always was, but he only needed a trigger to be this person.
And it makes me sad.
If I'm honest, I have never felt that a cis man has ever truly loved me for me and has really only loved me for what they thought I could do for them. I don't particularly care what gender the person I'm in a relationship with is, but I can truthfully say that the 'love' I've received from cis men has rarely had anything to do with who I am and more about what they think they're owed for being in a relationship with someone.
And that's deeply sad on all accounts.
If someone has repeatedly voiced that they do not have patience for the same (unnecessary) activity, and you routinely ignore that and demand their assistance...
... you are not listening to their boundaries, and you do not care about them.
I have stated, on more than one occasion, that you either need to stop playing a game if you refuse to actually learn how to play it and demand that I effectively backseat game for you. There is a difference between needing help sometimes and demanding help because you refuse to actually try to solve something for yourself since you deem every puzzle as too hard (or that you refuse to look up a guide because “it's too hard to find guides,” which is also not my problem when I've told you how to look for different guides and given you the resources to find them).
It's such a petty thing, but it's such an indicative situation of a much larger problem.
Stop asking me for help when you refuse to try to do anything for yourself. I don't mind helping you, but I mind having you treat me like I'm here to do everything for you because you refuse to put in any work on anything at all.
Him: “I don't want to go to work.”
Me: “You're working from home, so you're not going to work.”
Him: “I don't want to work, though.”
Me: “That's convenient since you've spent half the morning bothering me and making sure that I couldn't work on anything that I've been wanting to work on because you're spending all your time distracting me.”
Him: “That's rude.”
Me: “How exactly is it rude to voice my frustrations at the person causing them when I have voiced this exact frustration to you every single fucking day you've ever worked from home? So you know it annoys me and that it makes it impossible for me to do my projects, but you don't care that it does. If anything, I'd say that that is rude and not the fact that someone's telling you that they're annoyed.”
... I wish he'd fuck off, honestly. And I wish that my status as an immigrant with unstable work didn't coerce me into staying with someone who claims he respects me but can't even take five seconds to think about someone other than his goddamned self.
Just because I have music playing does not mean that I'm welcoming people to interrupt me while I'm writing, thanks. Maybe take the biggest hint (which is a pretty obvious hint of someone focusing on a computer and a word processor and typing quite a lot) and all the small ones (short answers and responses) and go away unless it's necessary.
Which so far it hasn't been.
(I think this call for attention would also be tolerable if he'd actually stop doing it when I'm working on things. He never bothers me unless I'm working on something, and it makes me insane.)
“I don't need you to narrate your life to me.”
... And then he continues to narrate his life at me, despite the fact that I have repeatedly said he doesn't have to.
“Let me try again: I don't WANT you to narrate your life at me.”
... And then he continues, despite the fact I've made it clear that I don't want it, unless there's something I need to know or he needs me to actually know (like “I'm going to run 24km today and will be here” as opposed to the constant narration of what workouts he's doing in the house).
Can people respect boundaries? ANY boundary?
Looking through some otome Reddits... And I keep seeing people being all “I'm so glad this character is done with his neighbour's shit!”
... His neighbour offered him and his girlfriend each a basket of bread and talked about opening his own bakery. And then said hello to them the next day and invited them to visit a competitor cafe with him. (First he invited the girl, and then the love interest was like “No, we go together” and then the guy was like “Sure! Come along with us!”)
If he should be 'done' with anything, he should be done with his apparent girlfriend's shit of being vague about their relationship all the fucking time? Which the game constantly does with her, like she doesn't want to say “I am dating this man.”
Like, the scene where he's “done” with the neighbour features his neighbour being like: “Oh, your hunters [a group of people who protect the city from Wanderers]? You must be colleagues!” And she's like “Yeah, he's my partner.” She leaves it at that, so whatever. But then he could've just been like, “And she's my girlfriend.” Or she could've said something more. That's not this character being “done with his neighbour's shit” but him reacting in jealousy, rightly or wrongly.
And that's also how the scene is written and MEANT to be read because you're constantly being told that he has mood swings and a dark cloud over his head where the main character is involved. You're being shown and told that he's JEALOUS. Multiple times over, in fact.
The fact that people playing with and engaging with this media can't read that for what it is? When it's clearly written, explicitly so... Is deeply sad and speaks loudly of the state of the world.
Someone please tell cis men that talking about their ejaculate is probably not a good way to entice someone into wanting to have sex with them, especially when the person they're trying to have sex with has already told them a dozen times that they find it appalling.
Or, to put it shortly: Someone tell cis men to fucking listen to their partners, full stop. About everything. And not just about sex but also definitely about sex, including initiating sex.
If your partner doesn't like something, doing more of that thing ISN'T GOING TO HELP YOU. And the only person you have to blame when you don't get what you want is yourself, even if you're more likely to blame your partner for “not being nice.”
I don't want to be mean to journalists in a time where journalists are being targeted, but.
You'd think journalists would have better critical reading skills, considering their work. But so many of them don't seem to be able to engage with the points people are making, especially those who are white cis men who just want to mansplain why someone's wrong (when they aren't).
The EU didn't end the forever wars, even between the nations. It created nations that were forced to capitulate to more powerful nations under the guise of “acquiring resources.” It created nations that have been stuck in perpetual exploitation of others just because they're seen as lesser by the Western powers. It strengthened militarised border guards (because many of them are part of the military, not just police) that were granted the “right to protect themselves” by shooting migrants at their borders or pushing migrants into the sea or detaining rescuers for keeping people safe.
It creates systems that deport people who are seen as lesser or as “bad” because they refuse to assimilate (no one should ever assimilate—there is a strong difference between assimilation and integration). It allows “safe” countries (which aren't entirely safe) to send people back to places where they know they could die. It allows “safe” countries to upend people's lives without notice.
It didn't end perpetual forever wars, and that is EU propaganda. It strengthened their violence under the guise of “good” policy.
And it's doubtful that the “forever wars” (another propagandistic tool, for the record) will ever truly be stopped. All of us are walking into a range of far-right bullshit, and they will happily murder us all while they fight amongst themselves.
Just like the monarchs of old.