Having someone tell me that they think they can say the shit I already know and am tired of because they're my partner is fucking wild.
People comment on my weight, they tell me I'm fat, they tell me that I need exercise, they tell me I should walk or run or whatever more.
Look, I know walking is healthy for me. I know more exercise would be good.
I don't need my fucking partner joining in on the fatphobic train just because I, apparently, should “know he means it in ways those people don't.”
Jesus christ, thin and fit folks. Would y'all consider the fat people in your goddamned lives and actually care about us, too? Not “be concerned” for us based on our weight but actually fucking care about us as people?
Fucking hell.
I feel like I'm at that point in a depressive moment where I don't want to do anything because everyone keeps pushing or forcing me to do everything or it never gets done (so parts of my life start turning into avoidance or a war of attrition).
And it'd just be nice to be around proactive people who actually care about what's happening around them rather than people who make me feel like I have to be their stay-at-home mom.
How come it's considered rude of the “feminine” partner to say no, to never be interested in having sex with the cis male partner...
... but it's not considered rude of him to behave in ways that, even if his (asexual, aromantic) partner wanted to have sex... turn them off completely? Why is it not rude to demand their partner give answers for everything and solve their every problem (while not trying to do anything for themselves)? Why isn't seen as rude to treat your partner like your mom? Why isn't it seen as rude to ignore that they don't like they way you talk about their body and are made uncomfortable by it?
It's very interesting to have someone say they “recognise” me being agender only for them to focus on what marks my body as “woman” to them, even when I say that they are things I am not full comfortable with having and never have been comfortable with having.
And then frequently referencing the ways in which my body can still be used. Not engaged with on my terms but used in their own desires.
“Why won't you have sex with me?” asks cis man who refuses to:
– consider why it's still not acceptable to sexually harass your partner, especially once they've told you that you're doing it and it bothers them;
– consider that it's still misogynist to say that “a person doesn't need a personality if they have great tits”;
– refuses to figure out how to solve problems for himself and literally says that's why he has a partner in the first place.
No, I don't want to have sex with someone who basically acts like this. It's not sexy. Fuck off.
I'm glad I will never have kids with my partner because he can't even handle cats. In the middle of an exercise routine, he started yelling at the cat to stop eating something.
Instead of, you know, stopping exercising. And then trying to catch the cat or doing anything at all... Just kept fucking exercising because heaven forbid he interrupt a set or inconvenience himself at all.
How often can we point out the bullshit that cis men will do before they actually stop to think about anything?
Cis men learn some fucking domestic skills so the rest of us don't have to spend a decade answering the same fucking questions all the goddamned time.
“Why are you annoyed at me?”
Because 90% of the time, my opinion doesn't matter when you want to know if a food or drink is okay (and then I'm expected to remember the 10% of the time it does), so I tell you “If you think there's something wrong with that food/drink, you decide if you want to chance it.” And you get mad at me for that because “you don't know” (have you made any efforts to retain this information or problem-solve the trouble of potential expiration dates? hell, I gave you tools for a system of keeping info positioned right on the door of the fridge ages ago, and that system got tossed to the side a few months in).
It's also because you're the only person using those food/drinks, and you somehow think I should remember when you opened it. Instead of you finding some system to help yourself remember.
... And because I'm tired of answering the same questions for the past near-decade when you could try learning what makes a food unhealthy for consumption.
Like, this is incredibly lopsided behaviour and does not show any growth at all. I am expected to retain near-encyclopedic knowledge of the kitchen and all things in it (for some reason), even though the kitchen is accessible to both people living in this flat.
I'm expected to retain knowledge about things I don't even use or barely engage with. Why is that?
“Why don't you ask at work if anyone knows a pet sitter?” “I don't want my colleagues coming to our house.”
Wow, it's like those are the same thing. /s But also, if someone's offering to help, what's the problem?
“Why don't you ask at work if anyone knows a pet sitter?” “I don't want to.”
I... don't care. I do a lot of things I don't want to so that I can ensure our needs or whatever are being met. I do tons of things I don't want just to ensure I can stay in this stupid country. I do tons of things I don't want to so that our apartment works.
Like, sorry... when I'm already complaining that we're not even on equal levels of giving a shit... why are you behaving that way? (Also, don't you care about ~our~ cats?)
As a generality and a specificity for this situation: Cis men expect everything but give nothing.
Y'know, I'm so glad that my job is work-from-home so that my partner can totally just act like it's something I can drop at will and do everything while he does fuck all.
“You need to cancel your lessons.” Why didn't you call out sick today? “You need to keep me updated.” Why don't you take over the communication with the plumber today?
You're not my fucking boss, asshole.
His job is sooo important, while mine isn't. Because my actual job, as the ~woman~ (even though I'm agender), is to take care of the house and him and blahblahblah.
Cis men fucking suck shit.
I really try to be the person who doesn't want to have gender separatism, but cis men really make it fucking difficult... -checks notes– All... of the fucking time? Yeah, all of the fucking time.
Like, c'mon, blokes. Get with it. The rest of us are more than a bit tired of picking up after your shit and having to put all of our shit to the side because you fucking won't.
And then you bitch when things aren't done well or properly.
You don't want to help out, you don't want to problem solve, you don't want to make anyone's life easier by just being patient when you don't know what to do...
But you do want to piss everyone off around you. You do want to ignore our pleas for you to stop doing exactly that. You do want to just get in the fucking way all the time.
Like, why? What is the fucking point? I don't even care if you don't know how to do something, BUT STOP TRYING TO BE SOMEONE'S MANAGER ALL THE GODDAMNED TIME. Learn to do the things everyone else has been learning. Learn how to ask for help. Learn to look for information somewhere!
JUST LEARN TO PARTICIPATE IN THE WORLD AROUND YOU. Not dominate it, not demand it be how you want it to be... Just PARTICIPATE IN IT and show that you give a fucking single solitary shit about the people you care to fucking love. How is this that so fucking hard?