yes

Daily writing practice

2021/9/12 So, getting into something new that is fun and exciting can really tare the rug out from my habit building progress. Not getting into anything fun or exciting is not good since life becomes dull and monotonous. There's got to be some balance that will work. Maybe when habits are more firmly established or a system is in place that is more robust it won't be as easy to be uprooted.


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2021/9/11 #poetry That color that I took a note of, I'm not sure where I saw it anymore. The incredible amount of information that I process has washed away that old and unmeaningful memory. In the moment I thought it was worth noting. I might again if I live through the same experience. That doesn't make it worth keeping a permanent record of with immediate access in my brain apparently. It couldn't hold everything that I find interesting. Where would the time to review it all come from? It would take most of a day to review all the interesting thoughts, sights, encounters, and sensations from a day. What would be the point? Relive it all again and again and again? Our biology is structured to keep us moving forward, review is only to help with that and the limitations help us not to get stuck in it.


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2021/9/10 #poetry Since today I wanted to start and to make the life that I really found delightful and to have hope and to feel that I could become, and quickly, that shining star that I envision myself to be, I thought I should take steps that were in the right direction. What steps, and how to find that direction, the quick one, were what I then contended with. All I need is to make a move, I should know that the move was forward as it would feel good. Forward I went, making strides, accomplishing. I felt well and proper and that it was as it should. This day, now almost complete, is quite a promising beginning.


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2021/9/9 #poetry So, I have to ask, did it change your world? Did things turn around, were they swirled? Is everything swell? Did it make things right? Did it open up your mind to the light? Could I skip it and still feel good? Could I do what I want instead of what I should? Would that detract from my ultimate goal? Or can I just blow on the dice before I roll?


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2021/9/8 #poetry I saw a horse. Running across the tops of the skyscrapers. Jumping from one to the next. Impossibly. As a horse, it expressed no humanly perceptible emotion, but the action of its running was rhythmic & calming. I followed by watching. It circled around me. Far from where I was. A large curving trail. Its hoofbeats were soundless. Washed away by the city.

Astounding, this power. Imagination is given a low status culturally. Perhaps because you don't have to earn it. It deserves more clout. It is responsible for positive motivation. For the beginning, and often other parts, of the creation of new things.


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2021/9/7 Hold my vegan sugar-free fair trade local carob based chocolate substitute drink in the reused glass jar while I punch this walking human rights violation with the pro-life bumper sticker on their SUV that they're driving while using their phone to order phthalate filled plastic toast rotators (for one handed butter spreading) and dropping their dasani and coke bottles out the window and blasting religio-political talk radio.


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2021/9/6 That was the theory. What they thought was that because it made so much sense it was probably accurate. Why would they bother to test it? As theories go it wasn't bad, and you certainly couldn't fault anyone for believing in it. The mistake was to rely on it without testing.


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2021/9/5 #poetry Why am I to expect such miracles? That everyday should be so fabulous that I could hardly express my satisfaction with it. How and where would such notions have arisen in my mind? What is the way to it if that life could really be? Is it through work? So many people think so. Most are hardly what I'd call happy. It must be through connection. These people that stick around and the ones that only pass by with a simple need that you are able to obviate. The ones that do so much for you as well. Those are the ones that let you see what it is like to receive it. To know what gratitude your actions can generate, intentionally and by happenstance. When the focus of your life is here, on bringing that out, then you feel it too. Then you see the world as filled with goodness.


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2021/9/4 #poetry They put masks on to make themselves look like animals. This really had a great affect on both the dancers and the audience. The dancers felt different in a significant way. There was a subtle change of consciousness. The audience perceived a difference in what they were looking at, it became more alien in a visceral but subtle way. The intensity of the event for all parties was ratcheted up a couple notches, already up from baseline because of the activity. The emotional significance of the event followed suit. It helped that the significance had been expounded upon beforehand. Thoughts, insights, connections occurring during the event were given more account. It felt natural, true, and real if one didn't come in to it with preconceived negative biases. There were cascading positive social effects and enhancements to the group dynamics. I don't think declaring that as a society we have 'advanced beyond that level of understanding' is an accurate way to describe what we've done.


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2021/9/3 #poetry Excellent choice I made. I know it was, everyone else does too. Even so, I'm stuck with it. I don't have much room to move now since I made it. Being stuck with something good is better than being stuck with something bad I suppose. Why can't I just not be stuck though, that would be the most agreeable scenario. If I could be more fluid it would help. If there were more good options it would help. If I could make changes faster that would help too. I wouldn't be as stuck, or stuck for less time when I was. Stuck with something good is better than uncertainty and something good perhaps. Perhaps there's hope for change and I just am not looking at the situation right. Perhaps I'm less stuck than I think. Perhaps I never was stuck at all.


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