I have changed what I use, yes. But it is not as important as I had thought. TLDR: Anything you might question as porn or not is porn. And stay from it. You know deep down whether it will helpful to continue using it become the person you want to be.

I do watch video porn much less than I used to. I have also massively reduced using real people for masturbation. But other than feeling less guilty sometimes after masturbation. I don't think it changed things much for me.

Whatever type of sexual media it is, it is porn for me. Yes all of them are porn. Erotica may seem harmless but I think it is the worst. Here are some things that different types did for me.

Straight video porn. It just made me very numb. Repress my emotions. It also made me slightly misogynistic.

Hentai/ doujinshi – Too many weird things. And I think it made me dislike real people. I haven't really used it that much or I don't know what else changed yet. I think I got ntr, at start from here.

Pornhwas – In almost every fucking one, the protagonist is a creep or a rapist. It just trivializes it. That study about people reducing sentencing comes to mind. At first I used to close those ones but now it has become normal that I just read other language versions to not understand it.

Porn games – They make you disinterested in real people. Many games are creepy, manipulative, etc. They are too long too.

Erotica – It just makes you more and more weird. I don't want to even talk about it. This is the worst. It makes me question who I am, what I am. And for the wrong reasons. It has warped my ethics. It makes me question my sexuality, manliness(I never thought I would type this out), etc. It just exacerbates everything.

What I want to say is that. Although I can say to myself that I have reduced contributing to the industry. The truth is I am just contributing to different part of the same thing.

Sure yes, I am reduced my demand by almost 50 percent to video porn. But it is not enough. And I have increased my demands to other types. I am saying video count, ads, etc. Not paying.

So, if you feel like you are special. You can overcome porn in a different way, etc. I urge you to stop looking for ways, things to replace porn with. Just as easy it is to say and not do it, I will still say. For us addicts, abstinence/ recovery is the goal.

Because, at the end of the day, for addicts the desensitization will eventually lead back to where you start or an even worser place.

There is no good porn for addicts. Only no porn.

#nsfw #nsfc #explicit

I skipped some actors who I knew didn't like their content being there like MK, LR, etc.

I have watched even more porn. This month itself 5 times. It is only 10th of this month. It means I need to change my tactics. This progressively reduce was good for a while. But it seems I can't sustain it. Or maybe it is only for starters. It seems I can't use the same method for reaching the end too.

Morality, Truth can do a lot

Enough about exploitation, etc. I may feel all I want, but at the end of the day, morality, empathy will not save me. It has already brought me very well in my journey than anything else. It is an addiction and I should treat at as such.

Even after thinking all about morality, etc. It is my actions, habits that matter not what I think.

I mean, I used to watch video porn minimum 20 times per month.

In the two to three months, I have watched only 10* times in total.

Now it is back to 5 in 10 days. Things happen. (Updated with this month)

** This does not include any other type of porn other than video porn

So morality works. But unfortunately not enough for me.

Not enough progress

Yes, there is amazing progress.

But, I don't know feel like it is enough.

Maybe I think I feel like I am just extending my addiction.

I remember going to nofap the first time five years ago.

Still after covid and all my problems.

It is actually a lot better than still fapping to video porn almost every day.

I feel like I am still trying to choose the easy way, etc.

Data hurts

Fuck, I am just misrepresenting things intentionally. I have almost been watching different types of porn mainly sex comics, pornhwas, erotica, etc.

Perhaps I have naturally high libido? But I doubt it. How can I know?

But still I should do a nofap. And focus more on building the life I want and make it really hard to see porn.

I need to change things. Do more. Be out more. Be proactive.

How do I be happy with the progress I made. I do know it is not the best progress. When there are people who can go 90 + days easily.

My progess is not linear. It sometimes feels like I don't even know what is happening. 2021 was the worser for my addiction than 2020. But this year started off very well. But it feels like it is not going very well too.

It is the best method. It should be the ultimate goal. Unfortunately, I have not been able to do it so far till now. But still, I have made a lot of progress.

I will tell what worked for me. I was able to go from watching video porn daily to only 3-4 times a month.

Anyway, I still think gradually reducing porn usage is possible. Whether it will lead to recovery or not is another issue. It doesn't mean it is easier than abstaining. It is also not advisable for everyone. You should try abstaining, if it didn't work perhaps try this.

I was able to go from watching video porn daily to only 3-4 times a month.

Medium matters

I highly think that you need to change the medium of porn you use. For example, watching porn videos even once a week can lead to escalation of addiction, seeking more novelty, more extreme things.

So, I propose you to use some other pornographic things. Examples include hentai, porn games(3D and 2D), porn comics(pornhwas), erotic novels, etc. In these erotic novels, erotica is the best since you use your imagination at least somewhat. And 3D rendered images may lead to other issues like not being interested in real life people.

Why do I suggest one bad thing over another?

There are mainly two reasons:

i) It does not involve real people directly. So, if you feel bad you can probably say the people were not real, etc. I genuinely feel less guilt or almost no guilt. Mostly the guilt is about wasting time, depending on masturbation, etc to handle my emotions.

ii) The commercialization of these is not as good as mainstream porn. So it is not very easy to get addicted to them like video porn. I think this maybe just an unexplored area by businesses. Seeing how anime industry is successful, it is possible for this industry too. Like virtual Waifu experience from popular IPs, etc. Like that A Day with your favorite Pornstar in VR thing. So, currently it is not yet made by big companies, etc. Hentai is becoming more mainstream.

Morality

This didn't work out at first I think. A few years back, I saw something like porn industry is not good, etc. I wasn't really curious that much. It didn't link anything either. Well, I don't think I would have accepted easier than either. Anyway the recent one I actually saw people in the industry speaking about it. So it actually worked. I learnt about how the industry works, etc. So I used this morality to hold me down pretty much. I didn't feel as bad as using video porn. I don't think it will work long. But still it does the job.

Reading antiporn content, feminism, etc motivated me a lot. Knowing that I am part of a minority by being against porn on the internet was not good for me. I have always been on the correct side. Funny how that works. Now I understood why we should always treat people with respect even if they are the other side of an issue. But of course just the basic human respect not anything more.

But when I do relapse I feel even more bad. But I progress is happening.

Porn addiction is not holding you back from success

Many people are successful even with using porn or being addicted to it. So please spare this excuse and make a self-fulfilling loop where you need to be not addicted in order to be successful and successful in order to be not addicted.

It is not only the medium but also the content that matters.

You also require a lot of self awareness. When you are reading, watching something, there are subtle show of power happening. You won't realize it easily. The truth is that only when someone tells you it is easier to realize. I never realized most of these things on my own.

*The actress giving head and not receiving. *The face of the actress shown prominently. *The face of the actor blurred. *The way lesbians are turned straight.(Popular genre) *The gay porn is banned or not shown in regular sites but lesbian is shown. *The way sometimes you get new fetishes, etc.

Realizing it gets easier to not be into video porn. Not always true. But it could happen. It did happen to me. After a while, almost every video looked the same. It was different actors. But mostly same set. Same positions, same makeup, same scripts. It gets boring too. It happens normally too.

Abstinence is better long term

These power plays even happen in other forms of porn. So this is the reason why abstaining is better in the long term. You may not even know how your biases change, you get new fetishes, etc.

Most popular genre of erotic story in lit erotica are incest. Most popular sex comics have rape. So, medium is not the only important factor.

After all this writing, I feel like I am just talking in circles without confronting the big monster.

Change the type of media you consume too

Separate masturbation and porn

This is very significant. Once you overcome this, your need for porn disappears very easily. But it is extremely hard. I am still trying too.

I think after this it will make it easier to quit porn. I recommend a 90 reboot thing.

Positive habits

Do meditation, exercise, cold showers(not as great as the other two)

You need to change as a person. Your mindset, your values, environment, etc. Not everything needs to change. But you should evaluate what can make you stay addicted to porn and at least remove or change them.

Conclusion

Ultimately when you work on yourself, reduce/replace the need for porn. Realize there is no ethical or moral porn. You may realize that you have so few things to see or read in porn. Less focus on not PMO ing. Be more kind to yourself.

More resources I have found to be very helpful:

Read yourbrainonporn Top 3 fatal mistakes

Do spreadsheets rather than counters

My links:

Your environment can help you Blockers

There is no correct way to recovery

Porn addiction resources

Things to think

Resources about porn, sex, etc #nsfw

When you are in recovery, try to make it easier for you to recover.

Some types of media are more prone to include sexual content than others.

You don’t need to do this your whole life. Only when you are in recovery.

Of course, I am not dictating how to live your life.

I am just giving you ideas which can help you in your recovery.

Doing all of these is not possible at all.

Also you don't need to. You just need to know extra options for what you use.

Ads

Many times suggestive ads can disrupt things.

Use an ad blocker like uBlock Origin.

Uninstall apps if they show inappropriate ads when you use them.

Actually, try to avoid free apps with ads if possible.

Buy or pay subscriptions for media instead of piracy.

Use safesearch, etc if needed.

Use YouTube extensions to remove suggested videos, etc.

Media

Historical TV and movies are more prone to include sexual content. Or watch the TV versions of them, most of these versions remove content.

Sex-Comedy almost always have Porn. I mean, this one is obvious.

See content rating, tags, etc before watching a show or movie if you have time.

Listen to popular Pop songs without the video. If you really like it, watch the video. Maybe this is too much. I don't know.

Try to avoid artists who include Explicit content in their music. This is a joke. I just don't think you can find much if you are a pop or hip hop fan.

News

Avoid popular pages or celebrities who post sensual content in Social Media.

Leave news websites or apps if they have heavy focus on celebrities, gossip, etc. Ex: DailyMail. Most often the news will be: this celebrity wore a bikini, that celebrity cheated with this celebrity, this celebrity is pregnant, etc.

Avoid magazines if they don't help you. I mean stopping Playboy not Nature.

Social Media

Use #nsfw block option on Reddit.

I don't know about other social media.

Discover new things

Try to read from articles or book instead of watching video tutorials.

Try reading books instead of movies, shows, anime, etc. Mostly there will be books which inspire them. Many movies, shows have books as their source of inspiration.

Try new networks, apps, forums, social media.

You can continue using your current apps.

But when you have used those apps for the day or bored, try new things. Ex: Trying Medium, Poetizer, etc.

So many people defend things because it is their culture or someone else’s culture. I understand culture shapes our thoughts from birth. But still just because it is someone's or my culture doesn't mean I will accept it as a reason.

I hate all religion. I hate all culture and tradition too. Don't ask me why? It is just a default stance I have, only after learning more about it I like or dislike it. I maybe a cynic. I only like certain parts of certain culture, religion, tradition at the max even after that.

No country or culture is perfect. There is no need to think bad, etc. I may have written too broadly too. After all I can't know all things for sure.

As far as I know every culture, religion, tradition, country is almost always misogynistic. Sure they may have changed recently in the past few decades. But still there will be a lot of deep rooted ideas the people think that aren't perfect.

Some tribes in African continent

In some tribes in Africa, a man has sex with all the pubescent girls in their tribe. That is essentially the coming of age ceremony. Due to this AIDS spreads a lot. Now do people defend this? Of course people defend this.

Developed Nations

People say that Netherlands and Germany has different culture so legalization of prostitution is correct for them. I cannot understand this. Why does it make sense for them? Where do they get those girls? Why don’t they say Sex Trafficking is needed by these so called Developed Nations from other Developed Nations.

FGM

It is brutality personified. Don't look it up.

People defend FGM. I cannot for the life of me understand this. I am not making this up. Don’t search it up if you don’t want to be upset at the world. There are fools in USA practicing it too it seems.

Japan

If you play gacha games. You will see that so many people try to normalize loli. They say that is Japanese culture. So you should view it from their perspective. Not judge their culture. No culture appropriation, etc.

I will use loli and shotacon. Not cute innocent boys and girls.

Who the fuck thinks Japanese culture is amazing except anime fans? Of course loli fans.

I think they want to get on the bandwagon just by saying it is Japanese culture when what they may be hiding is they are just pedophiles who don't care one shit about Japan.

It could be like the MAP(Minor Attracted Person) these pedophiles want to be included in LGBTQ++. They have a certain agenda.

Alright that was not an attack on Japan. It is just that Japanese culture is not so good. It is inherently misogynistic too. Let us leave the misogynistic part. I mean even so called peaceful religion “Buddhism” is misogynistic. So why should I bother to explain things. You have to look for them I guess. I will not prove Japan is misogynistic with the shit anime I watched. You can prove how it is better than so many countries if that was true.

Why are only small girls popular and loved by everyone?

It is not both shotacon and loli both being popular. Only loli is popular. Does that mean there is something wrong with men of Japan. Or men of the world. Or is it due to repressed male emotions. The fuck do I know. I only think there is a disproportionate liking here. And people are defending this shit.

I am not saying cute children should not be in games or drawn in art. All I am saying is that the representation means something. If you can find 10 cute girls for 1 cute boy art in pixl. Then it means something. If you do draw cute children you should know whether you like it or not your audience includes Pedophiles.

I am not extreme. I am not saying that children should not be taken in pictures, etc. I am just saying that you can’t control others. But just because you can’t control others doesn’t mean you can create jailbait suggestive loli, shotacon content without any care in the world.

Am I being too brutal. I don’t like it either. But reality is often brutal. I sometimes wish I didn’t know the things I know. But what can I do. I need to move forward.

Most anime and manga will literally have a loli trope. It is not just to make it easy for them to write. They also bank on people attracted to those things to buy, etc.

Religion, Culture, Tradition fuck them all.

All these time wasting bullshit that literally stops progress. I know not all progress is good progress. I also know that in future things will not automatically change for the best. See Joe vs Wade.

Why does no one think of universal morality or something. Will it also depend very much on culture? I suppose so. But I think it should not be concerned with it too much.

For example Murder, Rape, etc should be bad regardless of culture.

The same way Prostitution should be bad too regardless of culture

#nsfw

My reason for learning more about porn was always around how to make myself stop watching it. I didn’t feel anything about the woman in the video. For that matter I didn’t think about the man in the video either.

I have never even heard that people in those videos don’t like being there.

I guess this is the price for being introduced very young I suppose.

Anyways I can’t really say it was just porn though.

I was very shy, introverted and egoistic and angry too.

It was like the perfect thing for me to get hooked.

It is also my fault too

Revenge Porn

I believe, only in 2020 I learnt about revenge porn.

I learnt that, these so called amateur pornography that so many people love mostly contained this.

Of course I can’t say I didn’t feel superior. I could only watch high quality studio made ones. It is both my tech craziness and superficial porn addiction encouraging extremeness and variety.

I will come to studio porn later.

Sex Trafficking in Prostitution

I had heard about Sex Trafficking in Prostitution.

It made a lot of sense. I mean why would anyone in those Nordic countries be so open to being a Prostitute.

I mean it is not really a job where you can advance or retire. There is no stability or royalty. I don’t like the term sex worker. I also don’t like Prostitute.

The sex worker makes it seem like it is just something normal and that everyone should just accept it.

The Prostitute makes it seem like it is somehow their fault. I mean I read about this in r/fourthwavewomen or Andrea Dworkin. Not sure where. Maybe r/FDS?

Sex Trafficking in Porn

But I had never heard of Sex Trafficking in Pornography.

I mean it makes sense retroactively, I suppose.

But still it never made sense. Even now it doesn’t feel real.

But just because it doesn’t feel real doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen though.

Education is not even good

I learnt that anal is something that most women don’t really like. And for some it is really painful it seems.

So, what I have learnt from porn is not true too it seems.

I mean it should have made sense I suppose. How would watching something be as good as the real thing. How could you become a good sex partner just by watching porn.

But now I am convinced that watching porn makes you a worse partner than someone who doesn’t watch it.

Extremeness and variety is natural consequence

I remember being unable to watch anal a few years back. But after that anal became normal to watch.

I also remember when they promoted a pornstar’s first anal.

I remember the first time I watched hard core videos as a child/ Teen. I really disliked it. I searched about it. Then in internet people told to search about soft porn.

That is how I started.

Normalization of violence

Many people say that their first time watching porn video was so disgusting that they didn’t even continue.

I don't understand. I think it was that way too I guess. But I just didn’t feel that much to not never watch I guess.

Maybe I thought it was what growing up and masturbating meant. I don’t know.

Real Emotions

Some people say that they can see the emotions of the women in the videos, etc. I don’t know if I really can’t see such emotions. Maybe my I just treat them as non real people when I participated in it.

I feel bad not being able to see these subtle things.

Submissive nature

After learning about Male Gaze, Patriarchy, How porn influences things.

I could easily see bad things. Like how in most videos the male gets a blowjob. But the female’s doesn’t get the same treatment.

Even the blowjob is not innocent.

There is the obvious Submissive posture. Where the woman is squatting but the man sits or stands. There is obvious power dynamics too.

The forceful pushing of the women’s head.

The act of using the women’s mouth like a fleshlight.

Of course sometimes it happens to men too I guess. But the former is much more likely though.

CP was in PornHub

I didn’t know about it. But apparently many videos were removed from Pornhub, etc since they could be from children, etc.

But the disgusting thing was men in reddit complaining about the news saying that amazing videos were taken. Sure they could be talking about some other video. But still how is that okay?

#nsfw