fantasyisbad

Porn is not your problem. It is easy to say porn it is. Once porn is gone, your life will change. It is the last hurdle, etc. Nope. It is nothing like that at all.

I have done this so many times. Nothing changed. Magical thinking won't work. It just makes you more miserable. Because you will feel like once you do this everything will become better, why can't you do it? Why can't you do one thing when so many people are doing so many things at once.

Porn is a symptom

Porn is merely a symptom. You will most likely have other issues. I will come back to it in a minute. Just defeating porn addiction will not change your life by much in itself. Yes, It will make it easier to improve your life. But porn is not holding you from being successful, rich, cool, fit, etc. So many porn addicts are successful, etc.

Don't use this as an excuse. I would even go on to say, don't even use it as a goal. It just misplaces your priority. If you are in school and your goal is to get better grades, you need to set it as your goal. Not overcoming porn, etc. It just shifts things. You will focus on the wrong things. It has been almost 5 years. I still have porn addiction. I wasted my time thinking that I should first overcome it. Aristotle said, etc. Stoicism, etc. Nope, it didn't work out at all. I should have focussed more on learning, playing, relationships, etc.

I think there are two ways for porn to hold itself firmly in our lives. Root causes and lack of knowing better methods of dealing with feelings.

1. Root cause

It is just you blaming your addiction. I am not asking you to blame yourself. You need to accept that without any issue, people you wouldn't have gotten addicted to porn so easily. Substance addictions are different. They literally change the chemicals in your body. But porn addiction is not that easy. So many people watch porn occasionally. And it is not even accepted by the general research even as an addiction. Maybe you felt lonely at night. You weren't appreciated by people around you. Small things add up. Possibly you were never loved enough, etc. Even tiny things can even be your root cause. You need to find it. Know why you are doing the things you are doing. And solve it or satisfy it. I think you should read more about it. I completely forgot.

2. Not knowing better methods

Not everyone learns how to face life. Not everyone will face it in the same way. But most of don't really know dealing with emotions, how to cope, face our feelings, emotional distress, etc. Potentially the need for porn is due to not knowing how to cope with stress, anxiety, etc that lead to your porn addiction. You need to learn to satisfy this need or cope with your emotions without porn. Whenever I felt happy, I watch porn. It has been like that for many years. I don't know how to celebrate being happy without porn. There is also chocolate. Both of these are negative habits in the long term for most people.