How To Be

What is “happy” anyway?

I'm currently operating under a working definition of success as follows:

I'm also embracing a Settle For Less philosophy, as I recently explained elsewhere: https://dotart.blog/humanissome/expectation-renunciation

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Programming Note

This writing project is disorganized & in flux. For related writings please see: • https://paper.wf/RMiddleton • https://paper.wf/humanissome • https://dotart.blog/humanissome • https://Mastodon.art/RMiddleton

Everything is related. Everything is in flux. Your humble writer suffers multiple conditions, including: Your humble writer lives a life that contains multitudes, including: • often debilitating, always present lower back pain • ADHD & bipolar • antisocial tendencies

I began this update intending to excuse my disorganization and absence from writing by referencing the conditions from which I suffer! Self critical framing is what comes first to me. Having the presence of mind to strike through that first negative instinct and see my life more positively is what feeling good being myself is about.

I see my ADHD and bipolar characteristics as entwined with my creativity. “I don't fight my ADHD, I respect it,” I titled a recent post that offers some explanation of my current writing habits.

The antisocial tendencies I reference above are, in fact, rejection of the antisocial ways of my society. In order for me to be good, do good, and feel good as myself I find myself in opposition to my society. It's a tricky circularity, to be antisocial so as not to be antisocial. I try to root myself with confidence in my own humanist values. That requires constant work — work to rewrite harmful past programming and to escape the continued onslaught of harmful messaging that is being aggressively directed my way. I am living in a hostile environment, and that environment is my society, my home! There is a conundrum in attempting self improvement when doing so alienates. I work daily to strengthen my commitment to valuing all people and in so doing come into conflict with innumerable individual people who are choosing paths of less resistance. As I say, it is a conundrum. One motive for my current writing projects is that I aspire to hone my ideas to a point that they may be more easily shared. [I'm especially grateful to those who are willing to follow along with me during this disorganized phase. (I say phase in hope!)] I think many are lost and confused; I'm certainly not alone in that. I do not hold myself up as enlightened. I write things that I feel need to be said that I do not see enough of. To veer into politics for a moment (although truthfully everything is about politics), it's easier to condemn fascism embracers than it is to try to appeal to them. I am not a fascist apologist in any way. I value human life greatly, and I reject actions that harm human life. It's because of those very values that I wish to see more humanist messaging that embraces commonality. The only way forward is together. I cannot conceive of good conquering evil without good becoming evil. On this point I am willfully naive. The extent I am antisocial is my protection from absorbing the antisocial beliefs of others.

I attempt to reframe the “conditions I suffer from” into positive, or at least neutral, traits. The most difficult to do this with is the physical pain. It has been the cause of near total derailment this first month of 2024. I am now contemplating how to go forward even without relief from pain.

We'll see...