void-shouting

I wonder what would happen if, instead of telling people to “let it go,” we actually addressed problems and recognised consistent patterns of behaviour.

Seems to me that we might actually be able to get shit done, to actually handle multi-pronged problems, to recognise that people can simultaneous wrong others and be wronged themselves...

But I guess it's easier to tell people to shut up than it is to actually engage anything head-on.

Please, just do your “work” from your side of the house and leave me alone. Whatever I planned to do today, I couldn't because you kept coming here and distracting me to whine and complain. Or after you solved the problem, which was truly very simple to solve, to show it off or bother me about something entirely inane.

I don't know why it is that I can request that you leave me alone, that you stop bothering me, that you let me focus... Only for you to act like I don't fucking mean it and to interrupt everything I do, forcing me to do next to nothing.

I want to be alone. I want you to go away. I want this world to dissolve its borders, to make all housing free, and to make it possible for people to live in the ways they need and want.

I don't want to be tied to you because I have to be, because otherwise I have nothing and no one and feel as if I may as well die because I can't survive otherwise.

I hate it. I truly hate it.

I don't care about your fucking watch. Your handling of the adversity in buying it has further shown how horrible your views are.

Your watch can break tomorrow, for all I care.

But it'd just inconvenience me, while you do absolutely nothing to fix it and demand more work and effort of me to solve the problem that is yours.

Jackass thinks I'm kidding when I tell him all the things I hate about his views, even when I tell him I'm not. Even when I tell him I'm actually angry and upset at his bullshit.

Makes me hate him more.

Piece of shit.

I told you last night that, if you decided to “work” from home because you can't cope with having one moment of simple adversity, you needed to let me have my space because I had shit to do.

And now I can't focus because you won't stop hovering over me, as if I'm supposed to entertain your whims because you can't handle one simple problem that people deal with on a daily basis.

I want to be left alone. I wish I had a room with a door and a lock so that I could keep you out.

I don't know how many times my cishet man partner needs to hear me tell him that I refuse to be his second mother, but it's certainly a non-zero number. And despite him trying to treat me as such, despite him knowing that I refuse to be that person, he keeps trying.

And yet, he proclaims himself an anarchist. He proclaims himself to be a person seeking the liberation of other people.

All while he tries to subjugate me to traditional gender roles that I have never asked for and always clearly said I would never follow.

It makes me sick, all these patriarchal figures in a movement that can never be patriarchal.

As a society, we should be ashamed of ourselves for creating an environment to encourage and enable excessive co-dependence. It's not that people shouldn't be helped or that we should be left entirely on their own, but we should be able to grow into adults who can at least act in ways where we learn to do things for ourselves or ask people in appropriate ways.

Demanding that someone do something for you is inappropriate. It's not difficult to ask for help where it is needed.

Expecting that someone else will take over the responsibility of solving your problem for you so that you don't have to worry about anything is inappropriate. You should know that you're involved in solving your personal problems, rather than waiting around for them to be solved for you.

And cishet men do this so often. More often, in my experience, than anyone else.

“My whole day is ruined now!”

“I'll have to take the day off of work to solve this!”

Followed by the slamming of everything, like doors and toilet seats. May as well break everything, seeing as that's the only solution to not getting a new toy.

Rather than actually try to solve the problem, rather than make records, rather than do anything at fucking all.

Slam, slam, slam.

... Then there's the whole refusal to engage in the world because one bad thing happened.

“I can't run now because of this.” He still has everything he needs to run. Nothing has changed.

“I can't make dinner because I'm upset.” As if that is relevant, as if he's never made me make dinner while I was upset or in pain or anything at all.

There are so many days where I struggle with not hating him for this kind of shit, but there are so many more where I feel trapped and without option.

Regardless of whether it's true or not, my partner's problems are always inherently worse than my own. Whenever he has an issue that is solvable but requires effort, he refuses to do anything at all except mope around. It's almost as if he wants his mommy to come make things better and do it for him, but I refuse to be his second mother. Fuck that.

If only immigration and financial safety didn't keep me somewhat tied to him... Sometimes, I feel like I'd leave.

The fact that I have to explain to a grown adult who claims to 'stand with workers' that he shouldn't mistreat workers because of an accident beyond their control is absolutely nonsensical.