yes — Paper.wf

2022/1/15 #poetry Maybe I'm not the only one I'm pretty sure I am but Perhaps there are others Could be a few Certainly not many Just one wouldn't be hard to believe But if there are others It's still impractical to think that With all the places they could be They'd have any impact on my life Whatsoever So I'm pretty much on my own In every meaningful sense And I should count on it staying that way And make of it what I will Unless I don't want to In which case I shouldn't doubt That I could connect If I set out to I'd just decide That I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one

2022/1/14 #poetry There's no reason to fret over time. You can't hold it or use it or waste it or lose it. Time is a measurement. A measurement of something that you can only ever have the faintest glimpse of. We live all the seconds, none go unused. There's never any extra. Though you can be free to choose. You can regret your actions, deeming past choices as mistakes. You can also decide to feel they were the best choices you could make. You did them for a reason, one you may even use again. Changing your direction is always possible until the end. It isn't always obvious how. If you can't that's ok too. Your choice is always now. What you feel is up to you.

2022/1/13 Oh, another morning has trailed off into the past. There was a warm coat. There was meditation. There was a warm fire. There was a warm drink. There was a book. There was a warm breakfast. And then the computer. Oh, it's not so much the computer that takes all this time from useful and enriching things but the connection it has to the internet and the capability to display, interact with, and navigate the incredible surfeit of activities to engage in there. The advice to go in with a goal is good but it hardly stands up to the test of 'just checking'. That 10 seconds it takes to just see if there is any new item that was sent directly to you that you really should take action on is almost immediately co-opted by the slurry of other interesting but generally broadcast items that you don't need to take any action on and perhaps, if you had the mind to, should avoid exploring, noting and appreciating the ones you initially saw and leaving it at that. But now, at exactly noon, having written something at least, I feel that I did retain some control and am fairly satisfied.

2022/1/12 A pain in the neck is such an apt expression. It seems to have fallen away in favor of more sexual or scatological metaphors, that gives it more of an impact I think, making the meaning fresh again, that or making the speaker seem quaint. Pain has the similar qualities of being disruptive and impossible to continuously ignore. It is slightly more than annoying and especially when it is in your neck it tends to impact everything else you are trying to do. At some point the phrase started with “is like”, but, as tends to happen with language, it got shorter over time. When you have a literal pain in the neck, as I am experiencing as I write this, the freedom you are used to, however limited it may be to begin with, becomes even more limited. Your choices diminish. You desires shift. A focus remains on the pain. Problems that are a metaphorical pain in the neck also reduce your freedom and make demands on your mind. If you address them they don't resolve cleanly. They are persistent. With any pain though, actual or metaphorical, some perspective usually makes it quite a bit better.

2022/1/11 #poetry The alive sense of being is where it is nicest to be. Work for years to get out of it and then, for those that realize they want to get back, work for years to stay in it more of the time. The great habit. So many things that we tell ourselves are in the way. They are, as they would surely break or fall away if we refused to address them in the ways we have. If we weren't attached to those things then we could let them, but we are and so we avoid the pain of allowing them to disintegrate or detach from us. When our habit is strong and we think clearly we will avoid making decisions that would lead us out to attach to tenuous and unstable circumstances. Feeling the pull away from where we like to be we can avoid it. Work still, but the easiest thing to do knowing how difficult not doing it will be.

2022/1/10 Today I went to the small park. The very nice park. I got some odd looks. I might have done worse. I could brush my hair and trim my beard, but who am I trying to impress? I'd rather spend my time on the walk than preparing for it. Really, to be fair, the reaction of any sort seems better to me than the lack of acknowledgement that perfectly fitting in would get me. Smiles get smiles back. Just start out with eye contact.

2022/1/9 #poetry The route, familiar, defined, somewhat unavoidable, around the lake. I'd like to take a different route, do something new, as I tend to do when I go hiking Most hiking parks have at least a few trails I can experience something I haven't before Alas, circumnavigation is the only option here Or a portion thereof, along that one track I just have to remember Nothing is ever the same

Exquisite shimmer, stealing the splendor of the Sun and outshining it The Sun, behind the sparkling surface, is hardly given notice It is a reflection, but the undulating ripples distort it and spread it out to unrecognizability It becomes a blanket of glitter A sense of warmth belying the cold truth of the lake

2022/1/8 #poetry Heavy strain Sand filled brain Can't complain No real pain Just this bane Like a big chain Which in time will wane And I'll feel sane Once again

2022/1/7 There are a lot of types of tiredness. The physical and mental aspects combine to create various states. The expectations of your requirements, if you have accomplished enough to let your work alone until tomorrow, if the place to rest has been prepared, make for a positive or negative take on the feeling. The pleasant tiredness that you can easily fulfill is one pleasure that you should never take for granted.

2022/1/6 #poetry All around me leaves fall Trees stand solid, protecting me from the wind I look to the sky, soon rain will sheet the ground replenish the trees wash off the pavement creating a cacophony of noise each drop making its own unique sound