Daily writing practice
2022/10/2 #poetry I'm not the type to hurry rushing feels bad but I know well that feelings are interpreted and having this knowledge makes me glad sometimes in some contexts that same feeling of 'rush' can really be a thrill like when you just barely catch the bus there's no reason to make generalized statements of value when talking about feelings context entirely determines how you make your decision about whether it was nice or if you didn't enjoy it but can call it spice
2022/10/1 #poetry Do we get to start today? I've been hardly able to wait. The excitement has built up and I hope this is the date. If we aren't beginning yet, I sorely hope it's not for long. I have been patient as I can get but the feeling of discomfort is strong. When we do get to commence it will thrill me to the core. I have higher expectations then I've ever had before.
2022/9/30 #poetry They talk about their experience Don't you want that too? They expect that you want it but I don't think you do The assumption is so deep that they can't understand and even get angry when you aren't interested in their plan others accept that their path is not for everyone and are matter of fact about their lack of attachment to any outcome if you mention that they are quite trollish, act absurd and anti-social at times that their methods can cause people deep pain and often totally ruin their lives they say that they aren't affected by stories of grief or abuse that what they do has its drawbacks and it is up to each person to choose if they weren't suitably warned that's tragic we could change how we act but you know other people went through that hell and now little things don't bring them so low In my mind this compartmentalization is silly and quite out of place I think that the best way to live changes based on the challenges you face that you won't be able to blindly follow any advice to the letter that if you continue doing things over time almost everything gets better
2022/9/29 #poetry Cutting things with a sharp knife is fun I think it's more fun if you've been struggling for years with dull knives It's not the struggle that makes it fun It's the ease We can have fun because of ease even if we have no previous experience with something at all Experience just helps us to calibrate our expectation of difficulty As we get better at things they can shift from struggle to fun and easy If we find someone who is a contrast to our fun, easy experience with something, their struggle can make us feel that the activity is fun
2022/9/28 #poetry Just like a black hole I've been in one, I know once you've been captured there's only one way to go refocus attention? maybe someday soon right at the moment this frequency can't be tuned Stuck blasting downhill fast as I can there's nothing to catch me don't crash is the only plan
2022/9/27 #poetry I put on the goggles I know it will still hurt but I bring my head above the barrier and the sand whips against my face I am glad that at least my eyes have protection I can't see anything but sand at the end of my exhale I retreat to wait I remove the goggles the storm will take it's own time but as always it will pass eventually
2022/9/25 #poetry There's not much to say about it It is noisy living here being next to the freeway is not calming for me I don't know how so many people find this an acceptable way to be I know that others have a gift which I do not posses they can acclimate and adjust to fit environments that cause me continuous stress I wonder at the reason since with a very similar noise a river or the ocean can bring so many joys but something in me knows and interprets what I hear will not let me relax and enjoy this atmosphere
2022/9/24 #poetry When there was no urgent rush when time stretched on and on I could while away the hours but that allowance seems to be gone It was so very nice to play a game or watch a show I could get fully lost because I didn't know There are so many things I could have gotten done that would have made my current life a whole lot more easy and fun Now I'm more aware that there are things I have to do It is harder to enjoy spending time as I used to