poetry

2022/2/1 #poetry It didn't go according to plan today. I was really expecting to have things be different. That things would work out and I'd get everything done. That I wouldn't have to worry about all the pieces that were out of my control because I'd done what I could. That I'd make it just in time. That I could reach people to let them know plans had changed. Things really didn't work out today. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep everything together. I'm sorry I didn't have more control. I'm sorry I overextended myself. I'm sorry I didn't double check before I got going. Things were really nice today. I got to enjoy the time I had and let go of what was out of my control. I got to be outside. I got to relate to people around me. I got to have my needs met. Today was just the way it was and I was able to accept it. Take it as it came.

2022/1/31 #poetry Waiting, very clearly with nothing to do, I notice something obvious that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. Those moments when, freed from necessity of action, nay, forced to pause, are a space that was itself waiting for its opportunity to grant you new insights and observations. You can practice breaking away from purposeful activities. It is unquestionably of extreme value. No amount of practice can bring you the skill of getting to that space that is visited when waiting, without distracting, that clears away the deepest feeling of need for purpose. A purpose is being fulfilled, but it requires nothing of you but presence, and one purpose is enough, so you can otherwise be free. The mind then isn't clear just from lack of need for action. It will take up where it left off on everything that it hasn't had time to deal with. If there's nothing more to deal with or if this seems an inappropriate space to deal with anything then the clarity comes up. A nowness. Senses open. Time halts, nearly, minutes stretching on, breaths clearly marching you forward but each one a whole life. Lives upon lives of plentitude.

2022/1/30 #poetry Today is pretty exciting, I know that I can't do everything that I think I might want to do but I want to do so many things that surely I'll do some of them. Today is pretty exciting, since I'm free to have my schedule anywhichway I want I'm certainly going to enjoy the flow of taking things as they come. Today is pretty exciting, I've got energy and ease, I've got focus and interest, I've got chores I can very well put off and for good reason. Today is pretty exciting, the weather is fine and the city is slow, I have no one to meet and nowhere to go. Today is pretty exciting!

2022/1/29 #poetry You could find out so very easily. You could use the incredibly numerous resources at your disposal through the internet. You could find them with a search or even ask. But instead you would rather confirm your current beliefs or reinforce new beliefs that suit your whims. I'm not saying that it is easy to figure out what is accurate. Nor that it doesn't take work. Just that you could compare information, sources, and arguments that favor opposing opinions and see which ones are emotionally driven and which ones are based on solid logic. That wouldn't make it impossible for you to be fooled, but it would make it a lot harder. Attempting to avoid being fooled by agreeing with anything that threatens that you will be fooled by others should you ignore it is not such a great tactic. Attempting to reconcile conflicting information rather than taking any dictum as wrote will go a long way toward actually preventing deception.

2022/1/28 #poetry Simple foods are nice to prepare. Easy, quick, and fun. All I do is pull it out, maybe heat it up, and I'm done. Then I get to eat it. Now I can go slow. To savor each mastication, and the flavors they bestow. I do have time to cook, I could make more complex things, But I just don't have the interest, despite the satisfaction it brings. Perhaps if you'd like to join me, to either make or consume a meal I'd find it more enticing and find culinary zeal.

2022/1/27 #poetry I saw the cactus in the morning. Covered in dew, looking like an overengineered dessert. The early light giving it a soft glow. The illumination weaving through the drops. The gentle mantle of light giving it a false appearance of delicate softness. A shining white vale around a crisp green column. The tiny spines all dressed up in white fullness, fattened with moisture. Wispy white needles obscured, blurred together to seem like a fuzzy fur. I delighted in the moment. I demanded that I would not let it pass unnoticed. That I should savor it completely. Declaring to myself that this simple experience of wonder was not one I could easily reproduce or find elsewhere on a whim. That this time was worth it. That I should focus on nothing else. That I must enjoy.

2022/1/26 #poetry I agree with you. I think you know what you mean. I think you say it well. I think that you have perfect ideas which are logically consistent with themselves and each other. I think that you are able to construct meaning within the worldview that you have chosen to adopt. I think that you are able to adapt your thinking to include new information and are able to create a coherent total picture that does not rely on patching holes as they crop up with inconsistent reactive rationalization. I think that you are interested in being accurate.

2022/1/25 #poetry I would like to write about important things. If other people are to read them, that is. I'm much more agreeable to writing complete nonsense if it's just for me. I can really get into writing something profoundly obvious just for the fun of typing and stringing words together that sound neat. I can entertain myself by making word salad. Those long runs of empty phrases that all but cancel each other out or serve to introduce merely the beginning of an idea that something is about to be said. I really like the rhyming phrase plug in drug. I think quite often about the addictive qualities of screens and the myriad addictive flickers they display. Almost all the screens flicker, you see. They count the flickers in Hz. Too fast to notice for the most part, but some people get headaches or other odd symptoms due to the particular frequency of some flickers. I have the unfortunate affect of falling asleep under the glow of certain tube fluorescents. Makes classes much more difficult than they should be. It can be a nice feeling if I'm not resisting it. A very pleasant tiredness. Spooky, as it was very hard to pinpoint what the cause was. Most people aren't affected so it isn't well known. Once I figured it out, tracking down information about it was not easy, and that's with the benefit of the internet. I did get what I was looking for eventually after much effort and it changed my life. I now have a remedy for the issue. Turn off the light, leave the room, or introduce a similarly or more powerful light with a steady glow to fill in the gaps. If only we could find a frequency that effected us in a positive way. The first step to create a plug in drug that didn't serve content. How things would change.

2022/1/24 #poetry No way to feel it without. No, feeling never happens out there. It can seem like it does. But it doesn't. It seems like you encounter them. Rather than make them. That they are something you can find. Or something you can capture. But they don't come in from anywhere. They are all created where they are. It might be better to say we always have a feeling and it changes. Like our skin is always a temperature sometimes we notice it we may enjoy or be disturbed by it but it is never not with us this sense of temperature and it is always the same sense no mater what signal it delivers. So our emotion is sensed and is always with us however we determine its value continuously sensing feeling the changing experience modifying to accommodate whatever we put our focus on.

2022/1/23 #poetry Hey, I made this for you. I just wanted to. It's totally new. If you don't like it, it's coo[l]. I've said what is true, not much else to do. I've got to go poo. I'll see you in two. The bathroom's a zoo. I can't even get through. Shoudn'ta had that last brew. I'm off to search for a loo.