I will fight for myself
I may not magically change today. Today may not be any different than yesterday for that matter. But something will change from today. I am going to fight for myself.
Even if no one else understands me or listens to me. I think many people want me to be happy. Truth be told I don't really care about what other people want. Sure I guess in my sub conscious mind it may be possible. But at the same time I also don't care about it in another part. These two may clash or do whatever they want for now.
Now I am going to live a happy life for myself. I deserve to be happy. I exist because I deserve to. There is no need of a grand purpose, or even a meagre utility to me life. I exist therefore I will do my best to make my life good for me.
There is no need to think about meaning, purpose, goals and what not. Probably goals is important. I mean having a sense of purpose would help. But I am not sure about meaning. I think it is wasteful to think about it and make myself feel bad.
I really like proactivity. Even if you can't control your life. It actually feels somewhat like living your life instead of just existing.