fantasyisbad

Fantasy is Bad

Differences may not matter

Mainstream video porn and erotica may be vastly different. But in truth for a porn addict they are very similar. They satisfy a need/craving. So once the dopamine from the activity gets less you start seeking more novel, etc. So eventually it leads to mainstream video porn.

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I already wrote about triggers once. This time I am going to write a detailed personal triggers.

HALT(Hungry Angry Lonely Tired), BLAST(Bored Lonely Angry Stressed Tired). These are great. Adding hunger to BLAST will actually have most of the triggers.

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All kinds of porn is still porn. If you have to ask, then it is probably porn. There are lots of things with non video porn(non real people) too.

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I am using a software called cold turkey blocker for Windows.

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I may not magically change today. Today may not be any different than yesterday for that matter. But something will change from today. I am going to fight for myself.

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I thought by freeing myself of the burdens of thinking about porn and its effects on society. I would be able to self heal myself. Maybe I need more time. I don't really know. I know I need therapy. I am using some therapy like apps on my phone.

Anyway I went over and realized that my addiction got worse after forgetting about all these things. I mean I guess I sort of did the whole I don't have an addiction route again.

So now I am back. I think why bother to leave something that worked. I mean if I become judgmental or moral. It doesn't mean much. I already know what is going to happen. I would rather become judgmental and do moral policing than go to another length of depravity in porn addiction.

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There are certain things that might feel good to do. It might even be something that you are doing to make the world a better place, etc. But if those things make it difficult to better yourself, What would you do?

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I think it is good that I am trying to recover. I have always tried even if I have failed a lot of times. I am proud of not giving up. Renaming things can make it much better. Instead of no Porn, I could rename it as Self Love, Self care, etc. Because it is gives positive feelings. And a better mindset. It makes you see yourself as not just as an addict. But also more human.

It can also spill out the reality. It is good for you

r/antipornography

[r/pornfree]()

[r/loveafterporn]()

r/pornismisogyny

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Morality, Truth can do a lot but not enough if it doesn't affect me much it seems. Data is impartial. Taking it seriously. Regret is useless. #nsfw

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