fantasyisbad

Morality, Truth can do a lot but not enough if it doesn't affect me much it seems. Data is impartial. Taking it seriously. Regret is useless. #nsfw

I have watched porn and masturbated to it.

I skipped some actors who I knew didn't like their content being there like MK, LR, etc.

I have watched even more porn. This month itself 5 times. It is only 10th of this month. It means I need to change my tactics. This progressively reduce was good for a while. But it seems I can't sustain it. Or maybe it is only for starters. It seems I can't use the same method for reaching the end too.

Morality, Truth can do a lot

Enough about exploitation, etc. I may feel all I want, but at the end of the day, morality, empathy will not save me. It has already brought me very well in my journey than anything else. It is an addiction and I should treat at as such.

Even after thinking all about morality, etc. It is my actions, habits that matter not what I think.

I mean, I used to watch video porn minimum 20 times per month.

In the two to three months, I have watched only 10* times in total.

Now it is back to 5 in 10 days. Things happen. (Updated with this month)

** This does not include any other type of porn other than video porn

So morality works. But unfortunately not enough for me.

Not enough progress

Yes, there is amazing progress.

But, I don't know feel like it is enough.

Maybe I think I feel like I am just extending my addiction.

I remember going to nofap the first time five years ago.

Still after covid and all my problems.

It is actually a lot better than still fapping to video porn almost every day.

I feel like I am still trying to choose the easy way, etc.

Data hurts

Fuck, I am just misrepresenting things intentionally. I have almost been watching different types of porn mainly sex comics, pornhwas, erotica, etc.

Perhaps I have naturally high libido? But I doubt it. How can I know?

But still I should do a nofap. And focus more on building the life I want and make it really hard to see porn.

I need to change things. Do more. Be out more. Be proactive.

How do I be happy with the progress I made. I do know it is not the best progress. When there are people who can go 90 + days easily.

My progess is not linear. It sometimes feels like I don't even know what is happening. 2021 was the worser for my addiction than 2020. But this year started off very well. But it feels like it is not going very well too.