yes

Daily writing practice

2021/12/26 #poetry I didn't really have the resources to tackle the problem. I was tackling the problem of being sick, with the immune system that is so amazingly fantastic. Other problems would have to wait. That thing about being tortured by not getting the things done that I was interested in getting done. It must wait.

The switch, I flip it and I see much better. I should have been able to navigate in the dark, the room is familiar, but seeing is more familiar. With this sight, though, I do not, in this familiar room, notice many things. The room is the same as when I last encountered it. My mind is on my goal, the hundreds of objects, textures, and colors are absorbed by my eyes but not noticed, being known entities that are irrelevant to my task. I find the bottle, I knew where it was in the drawer. I bring it back out of the room and switch off the light. I'm back shortly, the bottle now full, again with the aid of sight not really needed, I find a place for the bottle, this time on a shelf so I can access the contents more easily. I will remember what is in it, associating that spot in that room with the effects of the contents of the bottle, automatically moving toward it whenever I need to employ those effects.

2021/12/25 #poetry If you're serious about finding the meaning in the flame you can't simply stare at it forever and expect to get anywhere First you have to properly define your question Then you have to construct a hypothesis that could feasibly answer your question Then you have to construct a way to test out or to confirm or disconfirm this hypothesis by experiment or by reading or being told of previously obtained results Then when you sit and stare at the flame you can let you brain convince you that you can now see happening before you what you now believe to be true That it was simply beyond perception before is not a concern for you That others can not see it plainly is also not important You have been enlightened and now you are able to experience these secrets first hand You can automatically ignore the in the moment sensory experience in favor of the homogenized reduction in your mind You can let any contrary or conflicting experiences go as optical artifacts or pure hallucination not worthy of mention You can rest assured that nothing need change your mind ever again

2021/12/24 #poetry Yes, it hurts, but it hurts without pain. I don't know what the proper description is. Seems that English doesn't have a word for it. It isn't an ache, that would be pain. It isn't an annoyance, well it is that too but it is sensorially more than just an annoyance. It is a pain that doesn't hurt. Hrm... Just on the edge of pain seems to fit. A sensation that is prominent, can not be ignored on its own but can be ignored when focusing on something else. A discomfort that you avoid aggravating so as not to cause actual pain. Sore, but not actively hurting, only when you move it, poke it, use it. Rough, really rough. That works once you have the context. My throat is really rough. Cloying, sticky discomfort. Raw burning. Just raw. Raw roughness. Raw, sticky roughness. Raw, sticky roughness just on the edge of pain. That is how my throat hurts without hurting.

2021/12/23 #poetry Some people lead very busy lives and don't have time to think about thinking about thinking about thinking. Why do I spend so much time in repose? Noticing the rain, collected, poised, hanging from the leaves, refracting the light, drops glistening. All these moments Considering my lot Will they add up to something? Could I not? I have this time that others don't I use some of it for glorious things that do require solitary concentration But it is too abundant on many days where I have so many moments ready to do things just for you who I don't know

2021/12/22 #poetry So, as the darkness carried away the familiar leaving mystery in its stead I moved as swiftly as I could to get back home to bed The night was coming quickly I never like to rush but I'd been caught up by thing after thing my schedule turned to mush Now my day was over time used as best I could If I could do it over you should certainly bet I would Even so I'm bemoaning that I'm not home ahead of the stars while in daylight it's fine for us humans once it fades the world's definitely not ours

2021/12/21 The rebound effect of most safety precautions is statistically less than the protection it offers. Seatbelts and airbags make some people drive faster and with a little less caution. Bike helmets make some people more comfortable weaving through traffic or bombing down a steep hill. The vaccine for COVID19 makes some people feel comfortable attending parties with unknown elements. Proximity to medical facilities makes some people more risk friendly in general. At some point cigarette filters made some people more comfortable smoking. Overall, and in aggregate, these increases in risk are subsumed by the decrease in risk that the precaution brings about; but sometimes, such as the case with cigarettes, it makes things worse. When I cook my food how much weight should I give to the possible, probable, or definite contamination beforehand?

2021/12/20 #poetry The words, to read, with meaning so gripping, written by someone far away in time, what else is there to do but to ignore all other tasks, to dive into the words and thrash your limbs, driving for deeper meaning until you exhaust yourself? Or take it in little pieces, broken up to fill moments of leisure for days and days. Seems like a nice plan until you're stuck deep in its structure, wondering only about the questions it has posed, how its threads tie up again, then you read, and let the world wait, and wrap yourself snugly in its grasp.

2021/12/19 #poetry Despite my joy at the appearance of the sun on this cloudy and expected to be overcast day, despite my desire to be out of the house, to experience the world and to move in an unconfined way, I stay where I am. My thoughts are on the cold. By no means is this close to ice but to me it has that edge. I know that the right clothes will mitigate the chill but that doesn't make it inviting. It makes it loom larger that I must prepare to fend off this specter of discomfort. I also have my excuse of a thousand and one things to do so, going outside, while nice in theory, is not a priority. And yet, considering that going outside would keep me from doing those things, again it entices me.

2021/12/18 #poetry I made it through the day. It's almost time for sleep. I'm not sure I made any memories I want to keep. Things were really tough. The time wore on and on. It wasn't a nice day and I'm really glad it's gone. I may have had a chance to have something nice occur but instead I put it off. The whole thing is a blur. My head feels quite askew. My body's really sore. My ordeals have concluded and I hope there are no more.

Although this is just a rhyme and my day wasn't all that bad, when I read it over I genuinely feel mad.

2021/12/17 So you found the map, eh? Are you going to venture out to find the prize? To get to the place the map illustrates would be quite a journey in itself.

Anybody can see, the reason to collect all those experiences is not to have a collection of experiences, it is to have the experiences. Unfortunately, all to often the decision to have an experience is based on collecting rather than having it. This is not the same as going through drudgery in order to attain a goal, that isn't a decision to collect an experience. Obviously if you're too busy documenting the experience to experience it it would be a waste if you were hoping to experience it in the first place. Take care that you aren't taking the action to prove your worth, or because that's just what everyone does, or since you had the opportunity you didn't want to waste it even though you weren't actually that interested right then to be honest. When you live your life based around impressing other people, you should make sure that the person you are would impress you too. By all measures, but most importantly by character. Collecting experiences that will impress people you wouldn't want to be and aren't yourself will not be so engaging as experiences that fit with your likes. Most of the time anyway. Sometimes the unexpected happens, and sometimes you learn something that is very eye opening. Let the opportunities that don't fit with your needs pass you by. Have some time to have no experiences too, it's good for you.