poetry

2022/1/9 #poetry The route, familiar, defined, somewhat unavoidable, around the lake. I'd like to take a different route, do something new, as I tend to do when I go hiking Most hiking parks have at least a few trails I can experience something I haven't before Alas, circumnavigation is the only option here Or a portion thereof, along that one track I just have to remember Nothing is ever the same

Exquisite shimmer, stealing the splendor of the Sun and outshining it The Sun, behind the sparkling surface, is hardly given notice It is a reflection, but the undulating ripples distort it and spread it out to unrecognizability It becomes a blanket of glitter A sense of warmth belying the cold truth of the lake

2022/1/8 #poetry Heavy strain Sand filled brain Can't complain No real pain Just this bane Like a big chain Which in time will wane And I'll feel sane Once again

2022/1/6 #poetry All around me leaves fall Trees stand solid, protecting me from the wind I look to the sky, soon rain will sheet the ground replenish the trees wash off the pavement creating a cacophony of noise each drop making its own unique sound

2022/1/5 #poetry So, since there's nothing for it, I suppose I should ignore it But the process is rather rough, no cinch to tear my focus off Once my task is underway my mind will just not stray I must find whatever I mislaid Concentration will not be swayed The need consumes my total will A sense of calm I can't instill This desperation does not fit But I can not get rid of it Even when forced to another task My mind looks back and screams aghast 'That thing you lost, I know it's there We still haven't looked everywhere.' But I gave up, for at least today I'll put those thoughts out of the way The time to search gives no return No matter how strong and deep I yearn It will turn up, things always do I'm sure that I will make it through Relax, let go, be done for now This obsession I disavow

2022/1/1 #poetry Against the delicately rumpled water bounce the sunbeams collecting them in my vision I see a pleasant view I'm aware that the whole scene is in motion from Sun to wavelets to the light itself as well as the air around me and my own form too and yet stillness is its most prominent quality A strange interpretation that speaks to the culture that created it Without taking too long to gaze I feel I've taken it in and depart with satisfaction well before everything changes in an obvious way

2021/12/31 #poetry Honest and simple Direct Fun to say Gives you something a bit different on each read through So in that sense Speaking to complexity The poetry I like to read Has these qualities Good cadence Slows you down Surprises with unexpected relevance Subtle wit The poetry I like to read reminds me to pay attention to those weaker signals those moments of life that feel so clear that seem so present when only a single thing is going on

2021/12/28 #poetry I seem to have something of a knack for starting and sort of rambling for a bit butthen! tying it all up with a nice bow. Since I'm writing about my writing right now I should take a moment to reflect on my tools. I have a nice pen, but I've been preferring to use a computer since I can experiment more easily without committing. I can do that in my mind while using a pen but it certainly has a different flavor and I always run the risk of being distracted and forgetting. This is hard proof that the mental process, at least for me, of writing on a computer and writing with a pen are somewhat slightly different. It's true that the text editor I use doesn't have real time spell check or autocorrect and that makes a big difference too. I've written with those features on and they are highly derailing. Those thought trains, ya know? Choo Choo. Chew on this. Experimenting is important because, as indicated by my first statement, I don't start out with a plan. I'm not really sure what I will exposit before I sit down and start. I've tried a few times to plan in advance, but nothing comes. Not until I'm set up, with my tools at the ready. The thing is that it seems that when I have the ability to delete carelessly, sometimes it takes longer to find a thread. I have had days where I sit for many minutes without a spark both using paper and with using a computer, certainly, but the false starts seem to prolong rather than kickstart the process of getting through to a starting point. One could start, with a pen, and then decide against it, crossing it out, tearing out the page, leaving it and skipping a few lines or even using correction tape, but I don't let myself. It's not a rule I have, it's just not in my nature. The pen is permanent. You know, ish, mostly, whenever it actually happens to be, on occasion, as long as it's not washable or water based or on the wrong surface or on scrap paper or pretty much most of the times pens are used. Even so, it feels permanent. I think that confers some power to it in my mind and I'd like to keep it that way. So I don't false start with a pen by intention. I do think this is part of why it is different in practice, to use a pen rather than a computer. Another thing is the freedom. The added personality. The Freudian slips that are so different in nature than a typo on a screen. Not to say that Freudian slips are what Freud purported them to be, but even as a coincidence with meaning only in retrospect they can be funny or revealing. It's funny to talk about Freudian slips in the context of freeform writing where I'm really just leaning in to wherever my mind goes; but anything could have a double meaning I suppose. As long as, at the end, I take whatever I've got and tack on a suitable summary or final point to give the whole thing coherent meaning I'm pretty satisfied with my work.

2021/12/27 #poetry Oh, you would wouldn't you? I always thought you were a fool! This will be the end of you! Give up this silly game, or die! Take heed of my words, or perish! Enough, you must end this charade! I'll destroy you utterly! There's no way to escape! You only have one choice! And You Must Make It Now Oh! OK then, so glad you were able to come to a decision. Can't go wrong with chocolate!

2021/12/26 #poetry I didn't really have the resources to tackle the problem. I was tackling the problem of being sick, with the immune system that is so amazingly fantastic. Other problems would have to wait. That thing about being tortured by not getting the things done that I was interested in getting done. It must wait.

The switch, I flip it and I see much better. I should have been able to navigate in the dark, the room is familiar, but seeing is more familiar. With this sight, though, I do not, in this familiar room, notice many things. The room is the same as when I last encountered it. My mind is on my goal, the hundreds of objects, textures, and colors are absorbed by my eyes but not noticed, being known entities that are irrelevant to my task. I find the bottle, I knew where it was in the drawer. I bring it back out of the room and switch off the light. I'm back shortly, the bottle now full, again with the aid of sight not really needed, I find a place for the bottle, this time on a shelf so I can access the contents more easily. I will remember what is in it, associating that spot in that room with the effects of the contents of the bottle, automatically moving toward it whenever I need to employ those effects.

2021/12/25 #poetry If you're serious about finding the meaning in the flame you can't simply stare at it forever and expect to get anywhere First you have to properly define your question Then you have to construct a hypothesis that could feasibly answer your question Then you have to construct a way to test out or to confirm or disconfirm this hypothesis by experiment or by reading or being told of previously obtained results Then when you sit and stare at the flame you can let you brain convince you that you can now see happening before you what you now believe to be true That it was simply beyond perception before is not a concern for you That others can not see it plainly is also not important You have been enlightened and now you are able to experience these secrets first hand You can automatically ignore the in the moment sensory experience in favor of the homogenized reduction in your mind You can let any contrary or conflicting experiences go as optical artifacts or pure hallucination not worthy of mention You can rest assured that nothing need change your mind ever again