piercing shop

At a piercing mini stall in a shop I was looking at the different earrings very slowly The shop keeper said to me in a slightly bitter way about how I was spending too much time So i explained to her about how I was looking at each of the descriptions that they have and imagine the earrings on my ear and how they could match each other Then the shopkeeper spoke in a more understanding way and became nicer to me

_{Maybe because I got several piercings a few days ago}

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escaping from friends u dislkke

This friend is LL i don’t want to eat sushiro w TT Mmzzk bc BB Ng m

Wtf an i typing im so sleepy Anyways i was w another friend i n my dream. She disliked LL as well. I didn’t dare to tell her i dislike too but i did feel that way. I was trying to do some other stuff there sicab as sh n n Ñ n n n qn Ah… maybe j should continue writing on the next day/ when i kkw kl hk Tldr we tried tk hide but came actodd LL on the street Tried predendknt tl besrs

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_{I just woke up from an accidental evening nap and recalled this brief dream, but I don’t know when I had the dream, maybe today morning but feels more like yesterday? A few days ago?}

swore to mum

#mum #dad

Mum was being extra annoying at a Japanese restaurant. I was on a phone call with someone. Dad was just looking at the scene, giggling. So I just 屌 my mum to 收聲. And mum appeared unhappy and began to cry like a baby. Like she just squatted down and used her arms to rub the tears on her face like a kid. I felt annoyed. Dad came to comfort mum. And after like a min Dad asked me how could I say that. I asked Dad why didn’t you look after what you married and keep her occupied instead of letting her disturb my work/ call? He appeared annoyed at me. And I am annoyed and quite pissed.

---

_{This reminded me of that one mini quarrel I had with mum at home. While Dad was just standing there giggling at us similar to what happened in the dream, as if he was uninvolved and just watching us escalate the thing. And I told my dad, you didn’t help nor contributed at all.(I was disappointed. But maybe I shouldn’t have expectations to start with as he was like that the whole time.)}

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private session with Arthur

#Arthur #ruth

the setting: I was living in this city in a hotel with my parents (somehow I wasn't living in our home or my dorm). I had a hinge that today's scheduled session was in the morning around 10/ 12ish. So I was awake from around 8 or 9 in the morning as I was scared of missing it. My calendar recorded it as 14:00 though.

I went to sassoon road to revise and work. It was around 12:40ish when I suddenly had the urge to double check the meeting time. The meeting time was 11am. The 140 was something else. I mistook it and recorded 1400 as the time. I checked my phone and saw Arthur actually whatsapped me if I was coming around that time. I immediately replied, oh no I am so sorry etc etc

And his replies are like ohnoo no worries (something looking casual), and his message style is just like me, with kaomojis and emojis and cuter eng words. I was a bit surprised but happy. I was wondering if he was trying to mimick me and attempting to get closer to me/ into my world. And I welcomed it. I felt quite warm.

I told him I was free rn but i have class at 330/420? until 1830 and hes like he cannot do the session then cuz I have class, but said we can do it after 1800 till 2230. I'm like ooh He proposed casually we can grab something to eat together after 6, and then he'll drive me to his “old small office apartment” to have the session. Had to keep it lowkey or else he would definitely be reprimanded and scolded by Ruth. I replied (a bit excitedly), oh we're going to your home?? :O just before I type that, he unsent that message and gave me a smiley face He corrected me (playfully but slightly seriously), it is an “office apartment”. I'm like ooh okey (I could already foresee myself sitting in his car, driving after dark to his home, chilling after eating cup noodles, or takeaway street food together by the dimly lit desk, in a slightly cramped apartment, probably watching anime together too... And who knows what would happen afterwards. If he was not “making it happen” I would try my best to “make it happen” * wink *)

And then I went back to my hotel, and secretly reserved additional a solo room (without my parents). And I started playing with my doll – a Furret _{(I bought it a week ago)} – in that room. It was pleasurable. But I had to be conscious on not getting period blood smudged on my doll. (period was like day 4 ish, not tooo much but still quite risky smudging) And I was quite tensed because I was worried my parents would barge open the door any time, when supposedly that shouldn't happen as this was an individual booking of the hotel room.

I was relaxing with Furret while whatsapping Arthur at the mean time, chatting about random stuff, like buying what type of messenger bags, what we were up to.

— I woke up briefly. But I wanted the dream to proceed to actually meeting Arthur, so I went back to sleep. But the storyline didn't proceed any further.

---

I think it was because I forgot to attend the last day of an experiment, and that experimenter whatsapped me if I was coming. I missed it and replied in the afternoon, but she wasn't available in the afternoon, so I kinda ruined the experiment as the training had to be done in consecutive days. And I kinda like that experimenter, tomboyish. A bit like Ruth. and I think I ruined her impression on me. (cuz I was late for another day as well)

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dream from weeks ago, I am finally writing it down. And I will correct the date in this entry

TOTK coop with A

#A

We happened to be waiting for buses at the same time at the bus stop. We took out our switch lites and played on a coop world in zelda tears of the kingdom. _{(I kept misremembering it was TOTK – i haven't played that much Zelda games)} We were at the balcony of a tall castle and we were moving TNTs together to the same spot and blast the place together. It was actually not bad.

solving Claudia's family issues

#claudia

I probably met Claudia on my way back. And together we went and see Claudia's mum. Her mum looked friendly and gave me a free makeup. When she was doing the makeup on my lips (like drawing the lip line at the two edges using a lip pen), it was actually pretty forceful and I felt quite painful, but not to the point of yelling. So yeah. It's like forcing me to get bigger “mouth” and a bigger smile.

And then we arrived at Claudia's house, along with three other friends of Claudia that idk. And I saw Claudia being frustrated at her family for different stuff. And I decided to reason and “debate” with her family on behalf of Claudia. And eventually they sort of solved the issues. I felt proud.

And then we four “Claudia's friends” stood in a row in front of her parents. And her parents/ Claudia gave a thank you gift to one of the friends who didn't contribute much-This guy was also one of our uni students, but also opened a very cheap and affordable small fried pork curry rice restaurant. She gifted it because this friend helped her a long time ago. In the dream, I felt a little bit shocked, but wasn't really feeling bad because I wasn't looking for rewards when I was helping her. (Although now as I am writing I felt slightly slightly bad because another person got the gift but not me)

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bpd diagnosis discussion among wellness team

#arthur #ruth #t

I was listening to a talk about exchanging to overseas universities in the common area in my dorm with a dream guy friend (not irl)

(there was a university called ... tomato university in canada... and the girl who was tryna promote the uni was wearing a tomato mascot outfit... oml)

Anyway, the guy friend left right before the talk ends, and I helped him collect his handouts and worksheets and I looked back and saw Arthur sitting kinda diagonally behind me, using his phone. I looked at the screen and saw my emails (not irl) with him. (using outlook) The content of the emails were all conversations I had during the session. I asked him what that was, and he swapped to whatsapp and showed me a whatsapp group where he sent all our conversations out. He explained he kept the emails and forwarded them to a group with the rest of the wellness team, and this group is specifically to monitor? my behaviour through discussing about my words with him. (sentences with the vibe like I'm never gonna leave you/ just you/ previous “arguments”/ sentences about I like him a lot) I was checking the whatsapp group members but I couldn't recognise the people, as they are using their default names (not phone numbers nor contact numbers) which were all nicknames. But apparently that's the team. The group chat was kinda quiet though. Just him sending out the convos and occasionally someone would reply briefly. I suspect they were discussing in person.

Arthur admitted slowly but frankly that he thought I was a bit borderline, to which I said it's ok cuz I felt I was kinda this too. And I felt a bit recognised because I haven't had a definite answer from him before. But internally I was also slightly upset because they think I have such a condition.

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Halloween event: searching Ruth's Guinea pig in Disney

#ruth #chinok #secschool #uni

I was having dinner in school food court, assigned into tables with secondary school schoolmates (weren't that familiar). One of the waiter seemed a bit intellectually disabled + mentally handicapped, a bit schizo some of the classmates accidentally and unknowingly provoked him by saying things that didn't align with what the waiter was saying when he came around to serve dishes. During the most serious time, the waiter seemed he was about to explode. So I spoke up and chatted along with the waiter and agreeing on his points (which were diverted from what he was mad about), so I swap his attention away We sort of had a conversation which was not too meaningful, but enough to stop him from exploding. He's like a damp firepit now

I felt relieved.

Later we all had to go to a computer room. I was chatting a bit loudly until we entered, and I realised the people inside the room were super silent. I was kinda embarrassed but luckily I realised the silence pretty soon so I wasn't that embarrassed. Turned out they were assessing the audio noise in their headphones. So basically we had to record voices and noises using the headphones w microphone and equipment we got assigned with, but in order to eliminate unnecessary noises, like the accidental breaths into the microphone, the school will determine our personal baseline noise level first.

And we had to get the equipment and then participate in a halloween event by wellness team. (I wasn't sure whether the equipment was related to the event, but the event was definitely organised by wellness team)

So we were watching a slides presentation in the room to get briefed about the event. So Ruth got a golden guinea pig. (imo it is a very cute cat, but somehow it said guinea pig so guinea pig it is) And she put it somewhere in Disney. And we were going to find it. There were clues about the guinea pig, like size data, a picture of Ruth dressed in feminine clothes by the shore; (and also more info about ruth- like which district and which building she lives in – I was like SEE i think she lives in mid-levels) _{(not confirmed irl- just purely my imagination)}

And very quickly our group is leaving to catch the Disney shuttle van. But I was far from ready. I needed to wear my socks, my shoes, get my disney headband, pack my bag... and my phone started to glitch as well- the keyboard function broke. And I can't interact with anything, I tried sending messages in our team chat but it would just send random stickers and irrelevant texts. Chinok looked over to check on me as I looked confused. and I was choosing which plushies to bring with me, as I have a few- a disney related kuromi, a momonga, a dumbo...

They asked me/ looked like they wanted to wait for me, so I told them not to wait for me, and go on the 6 shuttles and I will catch them later

I eventually took dumbo I think because it was the most comfortable and softest to touch. _{(Dumbo was a high school christmas present from 6grass to me during school christmas party- and jau touched it during the party so I was overjoyed)}

i rushed out in the rain, keeping dumbo under by coat in my chest/ where the heart was, to get on a shuttle metro cuz the road led me there (i was kinda lost and I thought the metro won't be too far from the shuttle van destination as they were both Disney related) But the metro actually went back to the urban districts (there was a hidden mini side / another Disney park)

I was like oh,,, and then I wondered what if we got kinda tricked and actually Ruth hid the guinea pig there instead. And I checked the slides and saw one of the photo is the disney receipt and there was the disney address it was actually this one that I was heading alone

The metro line was brown, just like the Tuen Ma line. _{(maybe because I rode that line during the day to get to my driving school)} I got off around that disney station (the station didn't say there was a disney though) Hopped on a bus. But later it was in a traffic jam as it was Halloween and there were so many people on the street. (The road was like shared with pedestrians, so the bus cannot force through) I got off immediately and walked along the street to find the place where Ruth took her picture.

I walked past the crowd and went up an alley. There were many rats running around but I still walked up quickly. I wanted to find the guinea pig. There were less and less people gathering there as it was more unhygienic and secluded. I imagined her exposed legs. Rather slim and smooth. I looked at her hands. Ahaa. And she put on kinda sexy eye makeup. _{(huh interesting she always wore long pants irl)}

Eventually I arrived at a cliff on the mountain, and looking down was the coast. It was the place Ruth took her pic. But not the exact spot. There was an escalator down to the seashore so I went down to see whether that would make me closer to the spot. Tried and didn't. I planned to took the escalator back up when I saw a mini museum thingy, so I asked the entrance security guard about the guinea pig, whether she knew about it or even was taking care of it in case someone gave it to her. She had no recollection of it, and she seemed uninterested in our convo

I took the escalator back up and found the exact spot. I imagined Ruth in a beach dress just like in the pic, standing by the rock “fence” thing by the cliff, and just enjoying the wind and beautiful scenery.

I can't find any guinea pig though. Then my phone received a group chat message (group of all participants including those from other teams), people asking whether it was the location on her receipt. I was like shit, they discovered, and I don't like the fact that they would be the one finding guinea pig and this nice secret destination that should be just for the both of us

So I kinda panicked and tried to run around back and forth to find the guinea pig. I wanted to be the one who find it. (And get noticed by Ruth.)

And I woke up.

_{Now after I wake up I think I could read the guinea pig data file, what if the guinea pig is so small that I can't see without really checking every bush/ every blade of grass? What is the Guinea pig? Something atypical? Who knows? Maybe I need to make use of all the given information.}

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bloody bandages; explaining assault

#claudia ’s bf #JY

I was woken up in my dorm bed. I saw there was a few bloody unopened bandages at the end of my bed. By my leg/ foot. I wondered when I had put my bandages from the shelf onto my bed. Her bf (ernest) asked me about the assault. So I told him. And we simulated the situation with consent. In the toilet in front of the mirror. He was nice that he shoved his dick to the left before pressing down even harder.

Claudia was actually in the room next to us, when she chimed in saying JY was indeed sus

falling merry go round

Everyone was on a … circular bicycle kind of thing, like a merry go round. The floor would eventually disappear. So if they stop, they will fall. Many quitted the “game” and observed by the side. Only like four people remaining that were playing the game. At first there were also three girl otakus (one of them looked like Ame from Needy Girl Overdose) that were doing nothing and just sitting in the bicycle, people despised them. They didn’t care. (They later also contributed) And towards the end, a brother and younger sister goldfish also joined.

Meanwhile I wondered why they would continue, if quitting wouldn’t kill them (as the audience weren’t dead), but stopping the effort in the merry go round would.

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spooky lift, fake dad

#dad Dad came home from work. There was a ring in the front door. The back door opened at the same time and dad came from the back. We looked through the door hole in the front door and saw another dad as well. But something tells me it was fake, and i was more certain of it when dad was here from the back door It was supposed to be a cake delivery at the front door. And that person wasn’t holding any cake. I didn’t open the door for it. Mum also agreed, dad was just settling down after work so he didn’t really get involved

Later this person left and another colourful monster came. Didnt open After like 15 mins of it standing there, it left and another colourful monster came out of the lift and stood again Didnt open After a long 30 mins it left. And finally a young man carrying a colourful suspicious cake came. Although the cake was unusually vibrant and sus, i opened the door. He apologised profusely for being late because the lift was acting strange. I thanked him and immediately closed the door cuz I was scared monsters will come out of the lift again.

There were no monsters so far. And i was a bit curious so I went to the corridor to look at the lift. It wasn’t going to the floor it was supposed to. (Like in most of the dreams).

I think something happened and I kept trying the lift along with other lift passengers. The buttons on the lift weren’t even in order. And finally, I figured out. Button 31 goes to 4/f. (Like add the two numbers together). But some rules are like sometimes it subtract if the initial sum has a bigger floor number than what the building has. Anyways after figuring out, the dream ended.

second in marathon

#secschool #arthur Someone held my hand and brought me to a headstart. I was mainly competing with another duo of Zoe Cheng and (Ruby i think) (both very bright and competent classmates I liked a lot) With the person leading me, we were rather ahead. But later the person released her hand and I’ll have to continue this marathon on my own. I kept the pace but the duo was slowly picking up the speed because I sort of slowed down compared to before. When we were racing head to head, I tried to run harder. So I was a bit behind but not too much, like within 2 metres. At the final 100 m, I picked up my speed and ran full force to the finishing line. I think I was faster because my side of the finishing line was kinda closer. (It was a curve) So I was faster then them I think And i heard i got second (an unknown guy was the first with 1h 37m?) And i spent two hours exactly.

Random auntie/ meagan yu’s mum was surprised at my final sprint. I explained i kept some energy during the marathon just for it.

But despite winning I felt a bit empty because Arthur wasn’t joining this marathon, and I won’t be there to see his marathon race.

Japan shopping, unsupportive mum

#mum In Japan. At first i was chilling in my dorm with my roommate. Later mum came and interrupted us. And mum lied in my bed as if it was hers. And I just stood there cuz i had no bed. I felt gross for her to get inside my bed and blankets and touch my cushions

Later me and my parents went to an anime department store. Dad was supportive and walked behind me and shopped and offered suggestions although he didn’t really know the anime Mum was just trying to make us stop shopping and leave I feel unhappy.

I was trying really hard to find Rika / チリ’s merch in pokemon store but they only had figures and not the mats I was looking for. There were so many colours of the mats with different trainers and pokemons, but just not her. and mum kept telling us to leave so i was pretty stressed. (Mats as in like those children’s puzzle foam mats where you can buy one piece of different colourful pattern)

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marrying random groupmate

#roy (looks like) #claudia

So we were kind of like good friends pretty chill One day this dude proposed to me (in the dream we were groupmates, but now i think he gave me the vibe of my driving coach) And im like uh why not, sure And we are gonna arrange stuff

We walked on the bridge to med campus And there were actually two offices there, the first one is the primary school teacher’s staff room and the second was the secondary school one And I saw ptam in front of the primary school one, so i dragged my friend to walk away quickly, telling him this teacher was bad

I forgot the order of the dream, but anyways we got the marriage celebration, i was wearing long dress and kept tripping myself over cuz I’m wearing platform shoes too Our parents were here Mum was kinda annoying again but I sort of ignored her Dad was kinda cringe too

Anyways we got it done, our background music is an opening music from a random tv show And we have a video to go along with the music, they were just shutterstock photos of two people, photoshopped with our faces in it

Lmao

Then I returned to my dorm and had a nap with some gloves (3?) filled with warm water or blood. They felt nice as if I was holding hands with someone When I woke up, I found the lower part of my bed was all blood. Turned out the glove with blood bursted when I was asleep, maybe I was holding it too tightly cuz it felt nicer The ones with warm water didn’t burst

Ye and I told my roommate not to report to the hall staff/ student leaders cuz I was scared of getting reprimanded and I can try cleaning it myself, but it was too late. The student leaders whatsapped her back nicely and I actually get free cleaning supplies and no penalty. Slightly surprised

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