Last week’s dream. Didn’t record it instantly so it’s now fuzzy. Anyways I was at a train station like Cardiff Central. (Or honestly York) I walked by the entrance and a couple of men sitting by the entrance teased me. I think I either ignored or rejected. And then one of them groped my breast. So gross
Woke up with kinda bad mood but im in a month long trip and i need to appear normal which is stressing
And now when I began to establish my own boundaries i realised a lot of my friends lack the sense of boundaries (it was off topic but yeah)
Honestly a bit bad and stressful trip
And I resumed scraping my arm with nails again after … 3 months
No sharps so no bleeding
Still sucks
Not necessarily perfectly clean anymore
Mar 2
Plane dream
Taking a lot of photos for joseph and others
A little bit anxious cuz I couldn’t frame the picture properly (i feel like it’s not good but they didn’t say it’s bad/ didnt disapprove me)
Mar 4
(I left this blank in my google keep notes app- maybe i forgot to write it down)
9 mar
Got a new pair of converse shoes
Liked it
Dreamt lost my left lobe earring and I was gonna put my new earring i got from camden market into the hopefully still opened piercing hole
11 mar
Went to korea with charlotte hon (n charlotte chan?) as a trip
The street is quite boring and i was a bit disappointed when all the shops were just daiso and 日本城
I met with some friendsike uni pbl group and charlotte liu
Went to join the choir with charlotte liu with a row of hkcc senior group at the back, and we just sang the initial tuning part with c18??
Then I went to different car companies showcase rooms with pbl, they’re a bit slow so i went to explore by myself. The sales assistant was serving other rich people and i just walked around to try their game machines confidently (pretended) lmfao
It was getting late and i needed to hide
I went to book a hotel room
I chose the cheapest range
And I got a very cramped room, just a standing spot, maybe the bed can be pulled out? Not sure, I saw the room a bit next to me there was a lady who did so
The room was way smaller than a fitting room
And there was no ceiling so basically just a compartment
And if I shower the water would spray onto my clothes which were hanged by the side of the wardrobe/ door
And i was also using my hanged clothes to sort of block out the top part of the entrance door cuz the door was actually a bit short
I don’t like the room but the price is low
#arthur#mum#uniNot much dreams, or maybe I didn't actively recall them so a lot was lost
抬頭又是湛藍天。
feb 20
Session w arthur after a long long time
And I spent the time scolding him for his incorrect thinking/ opinions and ideals that he had for a long time that I didn’t mention my disagreement before.
feb 22
Mystery man.
PBL mass session. Assigned to a group sitting in a rectangle. Pleasantly surprised the tutor is someone I know. He invited me to sit next to him. Turned out he manually put me into his group, haha. Later a uni friend of mine also came to our group and sit slightly diagonally opposite to me. I was happy, I guess he deliberately assigned him to our group too.
I leaned next to him (tutor), I told him if he’s guiding the group then I would start to enjoy and love PBL lol.
I woke up peacefully after quality time in the dream. Who’s this guy? It felt astoundingly familiar. And the leaning as well. I’m not sure if I looked at his face in the dream, I probably did at the start, but not once I sat down.
And which uni friend? I forgot as soon as I woke up.
Feels nostalgic and warm, but a little bit empty because I don’t know/ forgot who they were but they’re definitely irl people. :(
25 Feb
random
Throwing up in dream
Saw i have a pair of 麵包鞋 trainers with thick shoelaces
26 Feb
nostalgic touch
Meeting arthur for an informal session
Sitting next to him at a food court
Leaned my head to his arm as we talk
He was wearing short sleeved shirt
So I was also touching the sleeves as I was leaning and talking
I also recognised the faint scent of him
Comfy and cozy
A bit nostalgic
A lot of different things in the long dream
I think at some point I wanted to masturbate in this little room i got in the dream- and somehow this city I live in was infamous for messed up hostel rooms by too much sex by guests
While I was setting up the pillows they were airing 春晚 on the tv as well- and a rather famous hk singer sang the lyrics wrong and switched back to the original lyrics in the middle which was quite obvious. While I was almost done with setting up I noticed the “door” is just a fabric curtain and there is a big angle where I can have eye contact with a random girl outside the door- so I didn’t masturbate
Towards the last scene I was drawing. I was drawing a train ticket. And then I planned to trace the shape of an (/my?) actual ticket onto the drawing to cut it out
Dad offered a high quality expensive paper for me to draw but I need to cut it into a strip shape rather than a rectangular ticket
I rejected the idea and after a few times and he let me be
Later mum came and kept looking at me while I was doing my artwork
I felt extremely annoyed as I told her to not look but she kept reappearing- I told her I felt like I am a fish in the aquarium kept being observed and supervised
She said you are
I told her isn’t there any other things you should be busy on, go work on your stuff
But she doesn’t have other stuff to work on
I was angry ans I was about to tell her then tidy our messy home- but at this point I became aware that I was dreaming, so I lost a big chunk of anger and I don’t see the point of telling her to tidy stuff in the dream.
And I woke.
I spent the whole day lying on my bed. It’s 2347 and I still haven’t moved.
27 feb
scratches
I still see scars on my wrist/ forearm- 2 deep ones with the shape of human nail marks other than the light scratches with a blade i guess
I was searching for something in our kitchen and i opened a cabinet under the stove
There were quite a few cockroaches but i dont think theyre moving, but still they’re quite groass. They’re attracted to the cockroach medicine/ catcher thingy mum had placed in the cabinet.
Prob 9 or 10/1: mum/ my family was in the dream, i forgot
Prob 11/1: A frog was being ungrateful for the precious water and was wasting water, so I held it by its neck and forced it to swallow until it can’t and keep huge cups of water in its mouth, and then squeezed it to force it to vomit all the water it had ingested, and repeat this over and over again
I think I was aware I was torturing it in the dream and I deliberately did so to make it regret its action…
Prob 12/1: I had a few dreams, they were relatively interesting and fairly original but I had too many original dreams here that they aren’t that original anymore… so I didn’t have the urge to recall them and now they’re lost… They’re just a twist in the generic and common “at the shopping mall buying stuff” dreams
(oH.. speaking of common- I think I can add a “rarity” list to rank my dreams- that would be interesting)
13/1: several dreams again, during one of the dreams a stranger young boy at around 11 years old bit my riolu doll’s ear… (a light bite) And I became very very pissed and used my riolu doll as my weapon and SMACKED my riolu’s head forcefully onto the boy’s belly. The boy was hurt and “ow”ing. I just felt my riolu’s head is a bit too soft and I wanted the hit to land harder but I already attempted landing quite a heavy hit
The final dream is at my primary school. There were refrigerators for our uni dorms, in the covered playground. There was a big one for my floor, and it was viewable from the outside just like a vending machine. Mum was with me at the covered playground, and I was actually on my way to something- I was wearing something business casual- maybe I just finished an interview. I warned my mum not to touch the fridges. But when I was kneeling down to fix my shoelace?? Or my bags, my mum opened the fridge and reordered the veggies, because they’re at the “not the best” spot (like freezer vs fridge) and put the veggies together. After I finished with whatever I needed to do while kneeling, I found out and shrieked in panic and annoyance, and ordered my mum to redo her arrangements back to how it was before, because the veggies were not mine- they were my floormates and they were all unlabeled- if she swapped the places people couldn’t find their food and didn’t dare to eat the misplaced food either- plus it was very rude to touch and rearrange other’s food without permission.
I woke up in annoyance, and later mum came to check on me so I looked pretty pissed at her and she was confused lol
This week was rather violent idk why maybe cuz I moved back home from dorms
After therapy he drove me back to main campus where I can ride the metro/ more convenient.
The first time I sat in the backseat.
The second time aka final therapy session I decided to swap to the front passenger seat because I wanted to be closer and see his face for one last time.
I sat and told him now the scene from the previous dream where he drove me to his flat was reenacted and I felt amused.
I took photos of the view outside from the side window, and ones from the front pane and selfies of me and Arthur driving. Though Arthur turned his head away every time I held the camera/ when he’s in the frame. I pointed it out and we were both amused. I think he was smiling. But I can only see the side/ back of his face.
I kept telling him to drive slower and drive to a few more streets before reaching my destination. I wanted to stall time as I didn’t want to leave.
He said eventually I would have to leave though.
After a while, he steadily and slowly pulled over to the usual parking place in front of a temple (/ entrance of my uni??) where it was kinda crowded and lively. He picked a slightly more inwards (around 20m) parking spot for me to alight. I didn’t want to, but I knew I needed to.
It’s time, he gently reminded me.
I was still sitting in his car when the dream ended.
Feels like summer sem chinese course, but the setting of the dream is in winter
I had to attend a basic chinese course
Need to memorise long sentences for class, and speak together as a group
I was scared to memorise + lazy to attend the stupid course so I just went to the staircase where they rehearse to peek at them
The course instructor (a thin old lady- i don’t like the vibe, feels like f2 vice classmistress) spotted me and led the class to walk around the staircase and caught up to me (I couldn’t run fast)
She asked why didn’t you join
I said I am scared
She explained they’re actually pretty chill, but it’s okay if I didn’t wanna participate and skip class
So I felt better and joined
After class me and my new friend group (Zoe Wong and a few others) somehow joined a school activity
And we matched with our group leader, Cora
I was behind her the whole time when she’s leading
We exited a place that feels like lecture hall into a shopping mall, then went onto the streets
On the way they were chatting (I forgot what was it about), Cora casually commented that I was already blushing
We went to a small shop on the street, where we were given a free kitty for each of us
Initially the shopkeeper gave me two/ two kittens walked towards me. One walked towards me first, it was quiet and obedient, had white fur with mini light blue polka dots dyed on it. The other one dashed towards me. It was more active, with blue stripes. I felt my forearms were slightly painful from cradling them, so I looked down onto my arms and realised the active cat didn’t withdraw its claws fully when kneading on my forearm. So I asked it to withdraw the claws because I felt painful, and it learnt and did. (The first cat was napping gently the whole time.) I chose the second cat.
Afterwards we went inside a cosmetics shop. As I didn’t have much experience with cosmetics, my groupmates and Cora were explaining them and point out ones they like/ were popular as we walked by. They were commenting on something that looks like a lip gloss. But they were commenting on the smell and how long lasting it was. I was confused so I asked them to explain. Zoe explained it was actually perfume, and a small amount of it was enough to [make you horny] (i forgot how they phrased it exactly, but definitely horny and not aroused). Cora added, it could last you the whole night, and was perfect for bar nights.
As we exited the shop it was dark outside already, and we were walking uphill towards a bar. I think I asked Cora if she’s ready to hit on some men
Yeah bruh can’t believe i asked her that in the dream
hit on me first pls- or did she
I sat at the end/ corner of the classroom and was responsible for cleaning everyone’s pajamas
But everyone was giving me wet dripping pajamas
And i clean after every class
And the teacher also scolded me for taking time to clean the mess
So my anger exceeded the threshold and I put down everything and didn’t clean anything anymore
I (in the form of a young man who was a little bit ugly/ average) was following a professor (that Indian? pathology prof) as his good friend in hku, he’s gonna bring me to a good place
I walked onto a boat in hku
Many prof sitting and chatting, like triad members
I stood at the entrance politely feeling a bit scared too, while looking at the prof walking past the sitting crowd and chatting with them at the same time
A random stranger boy ran on board and rushed past everyone
The profs all stood up and pointed long knifes at him
Quite scary
I got a small and handy bicycle. It had a white body and small thick black tyres. Pretty cool.
It was easy to lift as well. Maybe I often used it for commute to and from school.
I think at some point in the dream in the school, I said my farewell with Arthur. But later on the street outside school, I saw Arthur queuing up to order food from a food stall. He was the second in line. There were many people queuing behind him too, including my secondary school friends. I was delighted to see him.
I turned around to do something real quick, hoping he would still be here when I was done with my things. But he left.
I ran along the road and saw his back.
But I couldn’t keep up with him and lost him.
At a piercing mini stall in a shop
I was looking at the different earrings very slowly
The shop keeper said to me in a slightly bitter way about how I was spending too much time
So i explained to her about how I was looking at each of the descriptions that they have and imagine the earrings on my ear and how they could match each other
Then the shopkeeper spoke in a more understanding way and became nicer to me
Maybe because I got several piercings a few days ago
ɞ