Neko

dream

dream log (backup on rant.li/dream)

mock CCT after exam

#uni #pblmate

In the dream, I just finished CCT and I was overjoyed and celebrating with our group, when Monica yelled next CCT is in 2 weeks (next Friday), and I was like oh no again

Then our group went to a hotel, where we are having bedside and mock CCT. As soon as I entered the room, I realised I haven't cut my nails and I was slightly unhappy. I was the first one doing again, so the rest of the group went to another room a floor above us to wait for their turn.

There was a (surrogate?) patient lying on the bed, with a doctor beside. I was asked to do an abdominal PE on the patient. I skipped inspection as the doctor told me no need. Then I palpated the 9 quadrants, just as I was beginning to palpate and percuss for the liver, the doctor told me to skip and proceed to another part,,, which is ultrasound!

She/ He turned on an ultrasound machine and told me to hold the probe, and I needed to localise the organs and any abnormality. And I found quite a few (liver, kidney.. and heart which was an incidental finding) cuz the ultrasound machine would beep louder when it encountered something weird. Then I was asked what anatomical location was one of the beeps and I answered renal artery. The doctor seemed pleased with my responses and how I generally performed so she/ he told me to leave and find the next guy for the exam. I asked and confirmed to find Brian.

I went downstairs to find a lift going up to the waiting room (actually when I was waiting for the lift I found it quite dumb but the lift arrived as I was thinking so I rode the lift) I found Aiden while I was searching for the waiting room and he went down together with me to search for the exam room, as I didn't mark the room number as I was leaving.

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

11/3

awkward confident brO stranger

A very awkward stranger brought me and friends to a restaurant as part of a tour around a new city we were visiting, since the stranger thought we were now friends after trying to chat with us for a sentence. We thought it wouldn't be too bad to grab a meal together as we were quite hungry already, plus the guy said he would bring us to somewhere decent and popular. (It was kinda like a dim sum breakfast shop, a bit cramped but well it is popular.) After getting seated, I gave a gift to a friend, and the guy asked me for a gift too. Being fed up by his awkwardness, I firmly said, No.

19/3 #charlotteh #Ivan

ultra malignant cafe owner

I wanted to invite Hon to a new cafe near my neighbourhood, and there was a complex with several new cafes opening, so I decided to visit there to browse their menus and decide on the best cafe to bring her to. I stopped in front of a pretty nice looking cafe, with a glass panel displaying food models, including drinks with icecream on top, cakes and different kinds of desserts. I stopped by the counter and a boss (lady) wanted to bring me in for a seat. I nicely rejected and explained I just wanted to take a look of their menu on the desk of the counter. She seemed a bit annoyed and went back to her seat at one of the dining tables. I wanted to ask her a question actually but she didn't hear me when she was going back, so I raised my voice a bit to address the boss so that she was alert I wanted to ask her something. She became very offended when I asked if there were any a la carte and lunch menus like noodles. She responded malignantly in every sentence, like she was being very passive aggressive. For example, she said, have you seen noodles in a cafe and dessert shop?? Did you assume I have a menu for everything? Did you expect to have every type of dish in my cafe? It is probably your first time going to a cafe before, you are so broke you don't even know what is inside a cafe. I remained polite and resisted the urge to correct her and also to say I went to cafes before obviously but not yours, since it wasn't really necessary I guess? Although it feels bad. Before leaving after listening to half of her prickly sentences I asked for permission to take a pic of their menu and counter, actually it was to remind myself of this awful cafe and probably sending it to my friends to tell them about it too. Originally I might considered eating in one of the cafes before finalising my decision, but now I had completely no mood nor appetite to explore the rest. Opposite to this cafe is another cafe, with a very friendly boss inviting me to dine inside. I was wondering why he was so friendly as if I was a frequent customer, and recalled Ivan brought me to eat here once before (memory in dream) (no such actual thing happened in previous dreams or in reality). I smiled and declined and he wished me have a good day, and I left. I'd like to take a look at the menu of this cafe but it was right opposite to the malignant cafe so I didn't dare to stay any longer cuz I was scared I would trigger the fuck out of the boss lady. Although the cafe was nice I would also not consider bringing Hon there because of the location ... kind of a pity

20/3 #mum #dad Travelling with family in Japan, lived in an airbnb with a complicated room layout. In the dream, I recalled I had lived in this same Airbnb across dreams (but travelling to different places like France/ Greece or whatever) (after waking up I didn't recall anything like that though) Later went shopping in muji alone. I spotted an oversized pajamas and didn't like it when I tried it on. I stayed at around the entrance area and was planning to slowly shop from outside to inside (the muji was gigantic), when I saw my mum and dad appeared and also shopping here too, so I got a bit unhappy. Because originally we were going different places for shopping, and I felt like I had less privacy and cannot be as carefree as shopping solo (although I am technically still shopping solo).

21/3 #A There was an electricity outage in HMT. (idk my diary just jotted this) I went to find seats with groupmate for lecture. ML Khong saw me and she told me not to tell A to gift to teachers anymore, through the mic. I was shocked and told her we would talk after class. I wanted to explain how I was shocked knowing this, and I did not tell A to gift or bribe teachers. While listening to the lecture, I thought, Mum's assumption about A deliberately making me look bad is real, I didn't heed her conspiracy and yet the conspiracy was real, and the same things had been happening across dreams! (after waking up, I disagreed with my dream thoughts about “same things happening across dreams”, or maybe I didn't recall lol)

25/3 #uni dreamt about my class schedule being 8:30-12noon QMH, then 12-5 GH, I felt very tired and a sense of dread about this dream. (after waking up I thought I don't want to go to a 8:30 class right after yesterday's exam, I deserve some rest, so I skipped the whole day worth of class. The schedule wasn't as hectic as the dream but I do have a 8:30-11:30 class)

27/3

chased by monsters

Went down from a highway, into a concrete jungle. Chased by monsters in alleys. Similar to the streets in Jarilo-VI in Honkai Star Rail (kind of messy, cramped, narrow and dark, many alleyways and random monsters), and the monsters were in that art style too, and I can see the alertness bubble and aim circle thingy on the monsters too?? Had to bring my small baby mum to a safe spot where a healer would fetch us and protect us. I hadn't unlocked any skills/ attack so I could only dodge or sneak in the alleys when the enemies weren't looking, while carrying my mum/ holding her hand while walking. Finally after much time and difficulty I arrived at the meetup spot where a robot secretly talked to us. Turned out since it was still dark / 5am ish, the healer's clinic wasn't opened yet so we had to still dodge our way until like 7 or 9am ish. While talking, some monsters began to be alert by the noise, so I had to climb up the pipes to hide while cradling my mum. Terrible and intense.

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

riding race car

A friend and I rode a stranger's plastic super race car because we loved the car and wanted to try riding in one. But it was his first time driving in HK and he got lost in some cargo area roundabout in the airport?

favourite artist became rapist & murderer

#dad

I had a favourite artist in my dream, his art style was like graffiti art. There were a lot of his graffitis in the neighbourhood. Every day when I was walking outside I felt very happy seeing his art everywhere, it seemed like the city was becoming vibrant and alive with his art. I also collected postcards of his art too.

One day I was looking at a food stall with my dad, when I saw an auntie cleaning/ mopping some paint on the floor. A pedestrian told me a dangerous guy was wandering on the streets recently, and he would sexually assault girls he notice. The paint showed where he had been.

A slightly overweight guy walking in a sluggish gait was walking towards our direction on the street. The pedestrian said it's him. I hid behind my dad. And the overweight guy sexually harrassed my dad by walking and squeezing between him and the storefront uncomfortably tightly. I felt sorry towards my dad.

The staff cleaning the floor was quite concerned of the guy too, since apparently he would definitely assault / rape anyone who wipe away the paint he made.

Later after sunset, I was mopping the floor in another street, since I thought even if cleaning is dangerous I should wipe the paint because it was nearly cleaned and I could just wipe a few more times to make the street entirely clean.

Then the guy walked into the street and saw me. I ran towards the beach nearby but the guy caught up.

(Then I couldn't remember clearly on this part but) I think the guy attacked me (not sure sexual or not) and I was lying on the ground. Then he painted some graffiti and left. I was in despair when I realised he was my favourite artist, and all the graffiti art around me meant he had raped / sexually assaulted / killed someone on that spot. A bunch of people arrived at the beach and asked if I am okay. They (I think Vincci or Cora was there) escorted me back to the street when I fell on my knees and cried really hard. I looked at all the postcards I collected in my hands. Such pretty art but they were disgusting. But the most upsetting part for me was how the city had so much graffiti everywhere, and his art was expanding. And I felt powerless and I couldn't even erase a part of his art.

(Cried so much in the dream though I didn't cry at all or being sad when I woke up. I just felt it was such an emotionally charged dream)

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

some short dreams not worthy of solo posts (Mar 3-9, 2026)

3/3 visited aunt Atlex's home, and she gave me a big red packet, but I tried to reject it because I know Atlex wasn't too well off and I want her to keep the money to herself

4/3 Watched King Sir's dizi performance during a concert. It had been a long time since I saw him/ heard his music. However his style now was quite cringe so I was a bit disappointed (I forgot how cringe it was since I was writing and expanding this dream log retrospectively from my diary book)

5/3

eerie woman

I was walking by a mountain when I saw a SUPER eerie woman face floating in front of me. The rendering quality of the face was low resolution, blurry and black and white, compared to the surrounding scenery which was more realistic but the colour was still paler than from real life. I turned and looked at the mountain where there appeared like a dozen of the same head (I thought the number was 16, although I didn't count it actually). Once I saw this head, I immediately bowed and apologised frantically and repeatedly for disturbing her. And I tried to slowly retreat while I was apologising. It was very scary for me emotionally although the plot wasn't that dramatic, not sure why.

8/3 #arthur Had an occasion at school when I met arthur out of the blue, I was very shy to see him so after a quick glimpse, I looked down and didn't dare to look up to see his face properly. He felt very blurry to me. Although I didn't talk much or initiate much conversation since there was another stranger talking to both of us, Arthur recognised me and asked me how am I doing (meanwhile the stranger doesn't seem to be aware we know each other). It was a pity I was looking at my feet the whole time, but I still feel happy!

9/3 #mum #dad Had to go relatives gathering for CNY in mainland again !! noo

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

bimonthly summary! (feb 19-28, 2026) typing the heading only for interesting dreams.

19/2 #cora #6grass

lesbian spark between Cora & another girl

Cora and SHC (dorm) leader (a random dream character) flirting with each other at the balcony of the restaurant at an evening, very lesbian and hot. I was watching them hugging each other and kissing. Had a barbecue with 6grass again and there was a fire/ burn risk which made me kinda stressed Bought japanese stationery (actually a pencil case)

21/2 #uni I dreamt I was replying my friend's whatsapp message directly on our cohort's group chat (consisted of like 300 people), luckily I didn't gossiped anything bad. I felt embarrassed nevertheless

22/2 I couldn't hold in my poo so I shat publicly, at a plaza/ open area (Arthur read my dreams and said my dreams are so diverse, lmao)

27/2 #secschool

highschool classmate hung herself

I dreamt I finished a year in uni/ almost graduating uni?, and I brought up the topic of high school to a friend. We were flipping our yearbook, when I asked her randomly about a classmate, T Woo, because I suddenly remembered about her and I didn't keep in much contact with this person. The friend went silent, and told me she hanged herself and died soon after we graduated high school. I was distraught when I heard it, and I was upset it took me so long/ years to learn about this news. I woke up and was very concerned of this existing classmate, so I stalked her on instagram and also asked a couple of close friends if she's still alive lol. uhhHh anyways yes it seems she is very normal and living

28/2 #dad #mum #uni #PBLmate

cannibalism, freshly prepared; almost went Epstein Island

holy shit, Dad, mum and I went to a feast (forgot what occasion, seemed relatives gathering). We were allocated to a room, where we were arranged to feast on two humans who would be killed and prepared in front of us !!!!!!!! holy shit, ok.,., first one was already almost died and prepared half when serving to us so it was not too terrible ...? However, for the second guy, it was a young man who was probably around 17ish? He walked in, dressed in white robe, escorted by two staff and was in handcuffs. Then he lied in this horizontal box thing (kinda like a mix of magician cutting woman that kind of machine + slicing bread machine + the altar in a church that kind of size). He told us he was too poor and he needed the money for the family so he needed to do this. He told us there was a souvenir shop which sold leather goods later, we could support them by buying. Then the lid was half covered by the two staff and the procedure began. Then the slices began to pop out at the end of the box and they are putting them on a big plate. The boy was in agony, and we heard him kinda yelling but not too much, he was trying to keep his voice down. I tried to comfort him of the pain by holding one of his hand (it was poking out of the box). Eventually as the slices ascended to the arm level, I couldn't hold his hand, then his fingers, then not anymore. He became our food. (The dream skipped this part of the plot and went straight to below.) Later after the meal we were brought to the souvenir shop. Although we wanted to support the poor people, we just couldn't buy the skin products, and we left.

Later I had to get on a bus to escape with my ward group (forgot what we were escaping from, seemed like a group/ organisation hunting for us). The bus arrived at a interchange station and dropped all of us there, so we needed to find another vehicle to ride. We gossiped about how Brian would be scammed to Epstein Island during the bus ride, but during that moment, it seemed like everyone else had a place to go and I panicked a bit, and saw Brian walking towards a private car. So, completely forgot about the gossip, I asked to join Brian's ride. When I got on the car, I asked the driver where would she be driving. She didn't seem to be friendly and kinda stayed quiet, but was tapping the screen of the car to open the navigation map. I looked at the screen and saw an island, and the driver replied me, somewhere fun. I immediately remembered about the gossip and I just gave her a sensible reason and got off the car immediately. I ran away from the car as fast as possible. And was in a search to find something else that I can ride to escape. While I was running I realised I didn't remind Brian he would be scammed, so I was feeling slightly guilty. (I was reading too many tweets in feb)

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

locking arms w JY during class

#JY #uni #pblmate #arthur #teacher #secschool

Was having a class and probably it was the last lesson of the period. We were standing in rows as if we were gonna perform something on stage (we were in a kinda big classroom though- many students, no desks nor chairs- kinda like kindergarten classrooms). To my left was a person who gave me the vibe of JY, to my right was Heather/ Monica. The scene was quite crowded and there were rows behind us and one row in front of us. JY nudged me with his elbow. I felt quite unfortable, and I used both of my hands to push his elbow back. It had a bit of resistance but quickly his elbow nudged me again. At the same time, the person on my right held her arm to lock with mine. Then I realised we were supposed to lock arms together as part of the performance. I looked at JY’s elbow and I realised he was holding up at an angle to let me put my arm in his. So I did so although I was slightly reluctant. But he didn’t explain to me and he kept looking at his front so it made it awkward at first place. (I hope my subconscious is not trying to find excuses for JY though…)

Quickly later, I was told I needed to go to a room to receive a make-up class. When my previous groupmate exited the room, I went in. It was taught by Arthur. I needed to sit by a desk to do some chinese penmanship and dictation. The atmosphere was beginning to get …umm romantic? Personal? As we filled in on what we were up to for the past week between his sentences for my dictation. Then my F.6 chinese teacher opened the door and came in. I was nervous and stressed about her finding out we were almost starting to chat more intimate things, so I kept writing my chinese words wrongly and I had to scribble and rewrite for like 4 times.

Then I was handed to the chinese teacher to continue my class while Arthur left. Later I went out and saw my groupmates at a resting area with benches. It was decorated like a shopping mall with low ceilings- kind of like the subway in tsim sha tsui. I looked at heather and monica and they look prettier than usual. Heather had my haircut and Monica had better skin. (We legit had a convo on how an AI tried to give me a new haircut and it changed my face to look like Heather; and Monica told me I had nice skin and her own skin condition wasn’t good) And then I also saw Alex wearing his backpack at the end of the bench. I told them, oh I haven’t seen Benson, and I also haven’t seen him in short sleeves before actually. And then they told me Benson was right here so I turned around and saw him behind Monica. In long sleeves though.

Later a teacher came out from the room and told us she had calculated the marks. (idk it was a test). She said two people failed, and named those two people, luckily one wasn’t from our group. Then we left. I was quite happy I didn’t fail.

But later I received news from someone else telling me they found out I also failed as well.

A bit of a bummer

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

Arthur’s wife substituting session

#arthur

Arthur’s wife was substituting the session for today. She was pregnant with a belly (googled and it was around the size of 20-24 weeks? Not too big but have a curvature).

She explained Arthur was busy and had duties, so she would be the one seeing me instead. I was wondering how come he would ask a pregnant woman to substitute for him, but quickly I dropped that trail of thought as she began to have a conversation with me.

She invited me to touch her belly to feel the baby. I touched gently and later firmly as she guided me on how to touch. While I was touching, I asked her if it is a boy or girl. She said it’s a girl. I asked if it’s her first baby. She said no, she had a girl, then a boy, then this time it’s a girl. I said oh that’s kinda like the word 嬲. (after I woke up I realised it was flipped so no; and this 嬲 saying was from my primary school chinese teacher who had two sons and a daughter- so it wasn’t an original pun by me fyi)

As I was feeling the belly, I was quite envy of her getting pregnant. I wanted to get pregnant by Arthur too… I petted (?) her belly (like a cat) firmly and harder and harder with this envy feeling. It did take me slight cognitive effort to keep myself in check during the dream to not hit the belly or do anything violent that may harm the baby. And I felt like she was too trusting to a client esp like me who liked her husband a lot, she was putting herself into danger without realising…

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

swearing train game

Need to ride a train thingy When the train thingy arrived at the platform, it was covered in snow. We tried to dug through the snow and it was an airplane with many windows, we dug until there was a hole for us to dive into, like those ice holes where people fish in?? But it was super dark and the water was dirty, and I wasn’t sure if I really snuggle myself into that hole would it refreeze and trap myself So I walked away from the train At the last few seconds the last car of the “train” opened all its doors wide open and the train began to depart. I dashed into the train and became the last person entering it. It was a super bright and cozy and clean car with a kinda vintage interior The doors closed behind me and a passanger told me I was the last person so I had to play the punishment game Then a one gorilla head toy thingy appeared behind one of the seats. So the game rule was I needed to scold and be angry at it to drive it away. The angrier the better So I yelled Fuck off at it And then the gorilla head changed places So I aimed at the new gorilla head and yelled fuck off again And eventually after changing a few locations it splitted into two And then more and more colourful graphic design stickers appeared on the wall, and as I yelled more fucks and fuck off and 屌 and 做乜撚 and on9, they duplicated a lot But the game only ends when there’s a new “last person” on the train aka probably when the train arrives at the next station So later i was out of breath and i just whispered many 乜撚嘢 and 屌開 etc to the stickers and all the stuff it generated lmao

Later went to a more interior car and I wasn’t chosen as the unlucky one, but i forgot the dream now

(anyways I really think my dreams were a bit more angry/ violent now ehhh)


Update: very interesting ! I told Arthur about this dream and what he saw was that I kept trying to dig through the layers of snow on the previous train, but I couldn't see through the muddy water, which symbolised how I view my past/ myself negatively. But I could actually hop on the next car and continue the ride, despite having the dirty car still connected in the whole train. So is there really a point in digging through what wasn't really possible? And maybe I could sort of continue through life and there is an option to not dig through things if I allow myself to do so? And then I told Arthur, no but the fancy car didn't open its doors initially, that's why I was digging the snow ! Then he replied me saying, when the doors at the back opened eventually, you had a choice to not ride, but you chose to ride, I was like hmm yeah,,, anyways interesting view ! He was like, interesting right ?? :D

(I forgot to tell him about the detail on how I was afraid of trapping myself in the water if it refreezes, I just told him I felt super sus and a bad sign which was why I didn't hop into it- but wow now I think it kinda matched with how I was quite concerned if I would get into a really bad mental state if I kinda delve into analysing too much about the past) He asked me about my reactions when I knew I had to play the game, so I told him it was fine and I was willing to bear the consequences because I was indeed the person who got on last. He asked me, “you didn't challenge the rules?” I said I didn't think of it, but it was fine as I wasn't really bothered by it. He was also pretty surprised when I initially used English to curse rather than Cantonese lmFAO. He also asked me what do I think the gorilla heads and me scolding represented, but I don't know. I told him perhaps the night before I was watching reels about a guy scaring his roommate with a gorilla head pillow. I clarified the gorilla head were palm-sized squishies in the dream, not scary. Idk about the cussing though.

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

Wltf wltf wltf

immersive porn/masturbation/sex at 歡樂谷

#jy #mum

Initially watching porn (interactive roleplay) (I am the audience), theme is onsen bath of daughter (owner of onsen place) and MC (main character) got allowed by a ninja security guard which is the daughter’s dad and supposedly they fuck but i only watched the opening and ending credits The next porn is at a souvenir shop. I also just watched the ending credits- and i was beginning to get curious because both ending credits were popular jpop songs like yorushika’s

And when i was leaving the souvenir shop scene, I saw a new scene about metro, so I went in and started masturbating myself And I began to feel horny and went to masturbate by the metro door, and I also gave a random guy on metro a look (? Idk if he is pedestrian or actor) bc I want him to kinda masturbate/ rub me And he came over to the metro door and lean on top of me i was like yessss So i leaned more against the metro door and he squeezed me further Interestingly the metro door have two conveniently placed handles literally on the door (looking back it’s technically against physics to open the sliding door but it can) So i grabbed onto those two handles and he also grabbed the handles and rail me in further The sensation on my arms being kinda trapped in his and the squashiness on my chest was very similar to irl when i got SAed And i yearned for more in the dream, i tried moving up and down to rub my butt to see if I could find the dick where it used to push against my butt during the SA, but probably because we were all wearing winter clothing so it wasn’t really obvious

Then when the metro arrived at the station and doors opened, he grabbed me on the shoulder/ arm and we walked to search for somewhere convenient for him to continue pressing against me, it was a big open sunny place with quite some people, and he walked to quite a few spots but perhaps he decided that’s not it and eventually he/ we settled at a gashapon area where there were less people sitting around and it was equally sunny…

I enjoyed it

Next I was in a big bedroom/ gaming room and i persuaded my mum to help buy a fidget toy on her pinduoduo account (… actually i have one too and i was showing her the item through my app), and then mum was like having many questions and technical issues i spent much time solving but I still couldn’t order the toy

Then we went to a thai “massage” place called 歡樂谷 bc I’m gonna fuck mum We went in and a receptionist spoke to us. We would be given free drinks and meal and a room with time limit. As we were listening, mum went to sit down and scroll phone. The receptionist asked questions and how come she sat, I called her to come back, saying “you wanted this, not me!” And she said you’d take care of this idc

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ

late for exam (fight w Alex) & therapy

#mum #pblmate #uni #arthur

First I was at a hostel having a sleepover with secondary school classmates. It was midnight. I was wearing my formal outfit from the day so I needed to go home to fetch my pajamas and my next day outfit. I was thinking of going home or not and eventually I went back (to the old address). Mum was washing clothes in the sink. I think we had an argument but I couldn't recall clearly. Then I went back to the hostel and arrived at a little bit past 4am.

I needed to have an exam at 10:30 so after a quick sushi party I rushed out to go back to sassoon road to take the exam. I was pretty annoyed when I almost took the wrong strap bag with me cuz it was not efficient of me. The wrong one was my small black usual strap bag while the correct one was an old white cylinder shaped strap bag, with riolu inside.

Before leaving the hostel, we needed to name our takeaways from this visit and it was very difficult since I didn't really learn any and you can't overlap with others, luckily I got a storybook published by the hostel and eventually I got two takeaways from it. Also I spent some time to search for my diary which I thought I misplaced in the hostel rooms, but it was in my strap bag the whole time. (I think there was a short clip where I had to go back to K Town to grab my diaries and ride the metro back, and the two friends behind me couldn't get on while only I can and I felt slightly guilty but I thought it was actually not what I can do)

I arrived at the exam an hour late, and the tutor waited for me to start the exam. Alex was angry because the test was just 10 MCQs and he had to wait for an hour. The tutor put the stack of Q&A sheets on the table and asked us to take one each. I asked Benson next to me, and Monica opposite to me if they could lend me answers to copy or could I just look at them to copy, they seemed ambivalent to that. Alex took the whole stack to hand out to everyone except me. I asked him to give me one but he ignored me. I loudly yell I don't have one, I need one. Alex had started answering the questions. I think Kelvin had tried to separate the extra sheet under his Q&A sheet but Alex was grabbing the papers tight so Kelvin gave up. I also raised my voice to ask the tutor to give one extra to me but the tutor said there were no extras/ she wasn't gonna help me. I felt really angry at Alex and I could feel my whole body was heating up and I'm turning red. I shouted and argued with Alex. And I also thought Benson could feel my anger too.

Anyways Alex continued to indulge in the MCQs and answer them very quickly. Seeing him, the rest of the group also started answering the questions. I felt very frustrated so I took my light blue pen (my only pen) and reached out and scribbled on Alex's paper (and drew a giant cross on his answers). Alex said that's not gonna stop him, I'm the fault. I was very irritated so I drew a deep straight line on his forearm. Then he fought back by drawing also a deep straight line on my forearm using his black pen. I thought I was going very hard on his forearm but when he was drawing me, I hardly feel any pain, or anything at all.

I sat back down at my empty table, looking at my trembling hands. And regretted if I cut deeper in my forearm last night and draw some blood, perhaps he could see me as crazy and I can defend myself better. But on another thought, he might call the security and psych unit to drag me away from the scene since the wounds would deem me mentally unstable.

Eventually when people were leaving, the tutor gave me a stack of tiny memo papers with hand written questions for me to answer individually. The tutor was quite patient in going through the questions with me, but I was quite impatient starting in Q2-3 because I was already late for Arthur's session. (the starting time should be the original ending time of the exam) At the end of the exam, I checked and I was already like only having 10 mins remaining for the session. I was really unhappy. I was in sassoon 3 1/F junction and met Arthur, along with Heather and a few others from our group. Arthur dialed a call and told (prob his sister) in english that he just found out his 90-year-old grandma had an affair outside and they had a 21-year-old daughter! Heather overheard and yelled, WHAT? He also babbled in another brief phone call about hooking up with clients, and I was thinking I hope the next person would be me.

I continued my way to the therapy room but I looked back and saw Arthur signalling me to come. There wasn't much time and we two were going to get food down the escalator at the McDonald's while he started asking me how's my week.

classy bday dinner

#secschool #jy interesting combo (6-person table): [ Arthur, Jasmine W, Cherris Y ] [ me, (i forgot), Charlotte C ]

Cherris and Charlotte were the two birthday girls Cherris had a fancy mango birthday cake. I'd describe it as “designer-style”. Same went for Charlotte with a blue birthday cake which looked very dope. Jasmine introduced Cherris' cake for us. She mentioned it was designed by JY. (She actually pronounced the full name in the dream). I immediately felt a bit uncomfortable and a bit queasy while holding my fork, and my hands were a bit numb, shakey and uncontrollable when I was trying to hold a knife and swap my utensils around while listening. I looked up to see if Arthur noticed, but I couldn't tell. Actually I didn't think he immediately realised that's the name. Yet I comforted myself saying perhaps he pretended he didn't notice because they didn't know about the therapy.

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ meow ɞ