#arthur #mum #uni _{Not much dreams, or maybe I didn't actively recall them so a lot was lost}

抬頭又是湛藍天。

feb 20

Session w arthur after a long long time

And I spent the time scolding him for his incorrect thinking/ opinions and ideals that he had for a long time that I didn’t mention my disagreement before.

feb 22

Mystery man.

PBL mass session. Assigned to a group sitting in a rectangle. Pleasantly surprised the tutor is someone I know. He invited me to sit next to him. Turned out he manually put me into his group, haha. Later a uni friend of mine also came to our group and sit slightly diagonally opposite to me. I was happy, I guess he deliberately assigned him to our group too. I leaned next to him (tutor), I told him if he’s guiding the group then I would start to enjoy and love PBL lol.

I woke up peacefully after quality time in the dream. Who’s this guy? It felt astoundingly familiar. And the leaning as well. I’m not sure if I looked at his face in the dream, I probably did at the start, but not once I sat down. And which uni friend? I forgot as soon as I woke up. Feels nostalgic and warm, but a little bit empty because I don’t know/ forgot who they were but they’re definitely irl people. :(

25 Feb

random

Throwing up in dream Saw i have a pair of 麵包鞋 trainers with thick shoelaces

26 Feb

nostalgic touch

Meeting arthur for an informal session Sitting next to him at a food court Leaned my head to his arm as we talk He was wearing short sleeved shirt So I was also touching the sleeves as I was leaning and talking I also recognised the faint scent of him Comfy and cozy A bit nostalgic

A lot of different things in the long dream I think at some point I wanted to masturbate in this little room i got in the dream- and somehow this city I live in was infamous for messed up hostel rooms by too much sex by guests While I was setting up the pillows they were airing 春晚 on the tv as well- and a rather famous hk singer sang the lyrics wrong and switched back to the original lyrics in the middle which was quite obvious. While I was almost done with setting up I noticed the “door” is just a fabric curtain and there is a big angle where I can have eye contact with a random girl outside the door- so I didn’t masturbate

Towards the last scene I was drawing. I was drawing a train ticket. And then I planned to trace the shape of an (/my?) actual ticket onto the drawing to cut it out Dad offered a high quality expensive paper for me to draw but I need to cut it into a strip shape rather than a rectangular ticket I rejected the idea and after a few times and he let me be Later mum came and kept looking at me while I was doing my artwork I felt extremely annoyed as I told her to not look but she kept reappearing- I told her I felt like I am a fish in the aquarium kept being observed and supervised She said you are I told her isn’t there any other things you should be busy on, go work on your stuff But she doesn’t have other stuff to work on I was angry ans I was about to tell her then tidy our messy home- but at this point I became aware that I was dreaming, so I lost a big chunk of anger and I don’t see the point of telling her to tidy stuff in the dream. And I woke. _{I spent the whole day lying on my bed. It’s 2347 and I still haven’t moved.}

27 feb

scratches

I still see scars on my wrist/ forearm- 2 deep ones with the shape of human nail marks other than the light scratches with a blade i guess

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traumatic physical fight with mum, finding arthur, trip with pal

#mum #arthur #onlinefrd

I was fighting with mum over something. _{I forgot if the item was supposed to be hers or mine} Anyways I wanted to get it back But she kept trying to snatch it out of my hand When her hand was not enough she used some tools to attack my hand. I forgot how exactly already, but it was so painful and gruesome and longlasting. There are many scrape marks and scratches on my hands arms and probably legs as well. Some are kind of bleeding and there are red marks all over my fingers and hands. She was like an animal and I couldn’t communicate with her as she just focused on what she wanted. Her ears weren’t open (metaphorically). Legit in the dream I was like holy moly such traumatic dream it hurts at a level similar to the court dream where I was suing the prof who SAed me but this one was fortunately a bit less painful

Fuck

So sad and then later on I dreamt I went to a building where wellness team resided- first floor was a tiny reception + another shop/ laundry store in which my grandma (mum’s side) was the owner and she was sitting there. The actual wellness team office is two floors up, (first floor is just staircases and an empty floor)

I was standing at the entrance of the building for quite some time, because I was thinking my sessions supposed to have ended already and if I go there again I seem to be over relying on them And I’m like moving abroad very very soon but if I go there again it seemed like I was too weak to handle my emotions on my own- how am I able to take care of it when I really went abroad?

I was pretending to look at the flyers stuck on the glass panes outside, and I also took a couple of walks around the whole building n the surrounding shops And I eventually came back to the entrance again I was staring at it for some time until I decided if I don’t go now I can’t go in the future anyways so why not I pushed the door and went inside. I just stood at the g/f reception area as I planned I’ll just stand here for a bit and not go up The area (shared by counselling and laundry) was tiny. Imagine a lift. I just stood there until the laundry lady told me, therapy was upstairs. As I was a bit shy and unwilling to explain to her I just wanted to stand here- or maybe I was kind of want to go up- so I went in

I’ll complete typing this dream later

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_{I just woke up from an accidental evening nap and recalled this brief dream, but I don’t know when I had the dream, maybe today morning but feels more like yesterday? A few days ago?}

swore to mum

#mum #dad

Mum was being extra annoying at a Japanese restaurant. I was on a phone call with someone. Dad was just looking at the scene, giggling. So I just 屌 my mum to 收聲. And mum appeared unhappy and began to cry like a baby. Like she just squatted down and used her arms to rub the tears on her face like a kid. I felt annoyed. Dad came to comfort mum. And after like a min Dad asked me how could I say that. I asked Dad why didn’t you look after what you married and keep her occupied instead of letting her disturb my work/ call? He appeared annoyed at me. And I am annoyed and quite pissed.

---

_{This reminded me of that one mini quarrel I had with mum at home. While Dad was just standing there giggling at us similar to what happened in the dream, as if he was uninvolved and just watching us escalate the thing. And I told my dad, you didn’t help nor contributed at all.(I was disappointed. But maybe I shouldn’t have expectations to start with as he was like that the whole time.)}

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spooky lift, fake dad

#dad Dad came home from work. There was a ring in the front door. The back door opened at the same time and dad came from the back. We looked through the door hole in the front door and saw another dad as well. But something tells me it was fake, and i was more certain of it when dad was here from the back door It was supposed to be a cake delivery at the front door. And that person wasn’t holding any cake. I didn’t open the door for it. Mum also agreed, dad was just settling down after work so he didn’t really get involved

Later this person left and another colourful monster came. Didnt open After like 15 mins of it standing there, it left and another colourful monster came out of the lift and stood again Didnt open After a long 30 mins it left. And finally a young man carrying a colourful suspicious cake came. Although the cake was unusually vibrant and sus, i opened the door. He apologised profusely for being late because the lift was acting strange. I thanked him and immediately closed the door cuz I was scared monsters will come out of the lift again.

There were no monsters so far. And i was a bit curious so I went to the corridor to look at the lift. It wasn’t going to the floor it was supposed to. (Like in most of the dreams).

I think something happened and I kept trying the lift along with other lift passengers. The buttons on the lift weren’t even in order. And finally, I figured out. Button 31 goes to 4/f. (Like add the two numbers together). But some rules are like sometimes it subtract if the initial sum has a bigger floor number than what the building has. Anyways after figuring out, the dream ended.

second in marathon

#secschool #arthur Someone held my hand and brought me to a headstart. I was mainly competing with another duo of Zoe Cheng and (Ruby i think) (both very bright and competent classmates I liked a lot) With the person leading me, we were rather ahead. But later the person released her hand and I’ll have to continue this marathon on my own. I kept the pace but the duo was slowly picking up the speed because I sort of slowed down compared to before. When we were racing head to head, I tried to run harder. So I was a bit behind but not too much, like within 2 metres. At the final 100 m, I picked up my speed and ran full force to the finishing line. I think I was faster because my side of the finishing line was kinda closer. (It was a curve) So I was faster then them I think And i heard i got second (an unknown guy was the first with 1h 37m?) And i spent two hours exactly.

Random auntie/ meagan yu’s mum was surprised at my final sprint. I explained i kept some energy during the marathon just for it.

But despite winning I felt a bit empty because Arthur wasn’t joining this marathon, and I won’t be there to see his marathon race.

Japan shopping, unsupportive mum

#mum In Japan. At first i was chilling in my dorm with my roommate. Later mum came and interrupted us. And mum lied in my bed as if it was hers. And I just stood there cuz i had no bed. I felt gross for her to get inside my bed and blankets and touch my cushions

Later me and my parents went to an anime department store. Dad was supportive and walked behind me and shopped and offered suggestions although he didn’t really know the anime Mum was just trying to make us stop shopping and leave I feel unhappy.

I was trying really hard to find Rika / チリ’s merch in pokemon store but they only had figures and not the mats I was looking for. There were so many colours of the mats with different trainers and pokemons, but just not her. and mum kept telling us to leave so i was pretty stressed. (Mats as in like those children’s puzzle foam mats where you can buy one piece of different colourful pattern)

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mum tagging along for my private hairstyling event

#mum #dad

Dad drove super awfully to get me to a road to drop me off He just stopped diagonally on the road wtf

And I was supposed to bring something which was stored in our microwave to the event- i was invited to get hairstyling by an artist

I opened the front part of the car cuz it was where we stored the microwave

But turned out mum reordered everything and now the things i needed weren’t in the microwave, it became shopping bags Mum forced me to get a shopping bag and she would give me the things I need after she get ready

I was annoyed because she wouldn’t give me the things now, and she getting ready means she would come along to the event, which I did not want I told her no but she insisted

And she took a long time to get ready and wear “decent outfit” and do makeup And I was very impatient because I was already running out of time

She insisted she come along to chat with the hairstylist and thank her Meanwhile I know the hairstylist speaks english so she couldn’t do it + bruh I don’t need her to thank her it would make the situation super awkward but she didn’t understand. How come someone would bring their parent to an individual private event. Ew

Disgusted I was sighing all the time and yelling no and it’s not the case

And i woke up because my emotions in the dream were too strong. I was actually sighing irl. _{(luckily roommate was on a trip so she wasn’t here and I wouldn’t affect her)}

_{I think i dreamt this because I’m getting a piercing today with a stylist who presumably only speaks english? And I didn’t tell my parents about it}

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roommate sh

#claudia I was just scratching and making cat scratches on my bed, and my roommate was sitting by her desk. Then she turned around and showed me her freshly cut arm with long cuts and blood slowly coming out like little droplets out of the lines I think she asked me something but I forgot (it was very graphic but I wasn't feeling much from seeing it??)

anyways turned out she was cutting but I thought she was revising by her desk ye _{(maybe because I think she stress herself out a lot and she got a fever by overworking)}

hon's letter

#charlotteh I was sitting at university upper street, and among the crowd walking by, I saw charlotte hon in her law cape ?? walking by. I think she graduated/ was graduating. I waved at her and she waved back. I was surprised and happy because so far I haven't seen her in campus at all since the beginning of uni. She chatted briefly with me and took an elevator next to me and went down and left, cuz she was busy.

Later I received a digital letter (hmmmm not email), saying things like, friends are meant to support each other, and asked me if I disinfected and how are my thoughts and to reach out to them anytime if I ever feel like it

I was touched, and at the same time wondered if charlotte c told others (like jamie and her)

exhibition fair with mum

#arthur #ruth #mum #caitlyn #cecilia

I wanted to go to the exhibition fair to buy something/ collect something from Arthur but mum kept bugging me like where exactly was I going, what did I bring with me and I accidentally answered wrongly and “invited” mum to go along with me bruh also at one point mum was saying something really stupid and I was frustrated and grumbled during my sleep- (i hope my roommate didn't mind)

and I tried to get away from mum once we entered the fair and I was pretending shopping until I saw Arthur by his booth, I think he was promoting his own organisation we had a brief convo and I walked around to check if mum was there I saw her also walking around and she saw me so we got together again, and I had to pretend nothing happened, and Arthur also just looked at us and pretended nothing happened between us

and then caitlyn's and cecilia's mum came and they gathered together later I think I had a slip of the tongue and caitlyn's mum kind of caught it and inferred that I know ruth, who was her therapist. I didn't have much to explain, I could only say oh she worked at hku cedars (LMAO), and I help out in related fields so yea

and basically they're chatting about therapy is good and caitlyn's mum find it quite rewarding and useful, and then Arthur came around naturally to have a chat/ promote his work I think at some point they also raised the idea of getting therapy to my mum mum was just treating it as casual talk without actually reflecting on this idea i think

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聲嘶力竭的吶喊 終究還是被震耳欲聾的嘲笑聲蓋過。

a failed lawsuit

#jy #mum #dad #claudia

I had to attend the court as I was sueing JY But I was going there with my mum and dad, and they had no idea what was going on. At the reception spot/ lobby of the court (looks like M&S food section), I guided them to the audience section and told them I would come back later.

After checking the seating plan, I had to walk through crowds of seated people to reach my special area.

I was a bit embarrassed because JY had invited some of his professors to sit as audience. And I covered my lower face with a brochure to reduce the chance of him and the professors recognising me (although it was pretty useless).

They were all wearing the ppe clothing. Some audience was wearing green, while many wore yellow. JY wore yellow too. I was in my casual wear- tshirt and sweatpants. _{(irl: green is student helper/mentor, yellow is for professors, blue for students)}

My hands began to shake violently. My body too. I was still affected by the incident, it seems.

I was just in time for the start of the hearing. But then the judge suddenly said, I had to be in yellow outfit in order to enter.

I rushed to another room (another audience section – that my parents were probably in but idc anymore), and wanted to borrow any clothings from anyone I know. I saw Claudia and her bf. The whole audience section was dressing in yellow ppe. So I didn't want to borrow the one from them because or else they would be the odd ones out/ can't listen to the hearing.

So I rushed out of the court back to the M&S food section and searched the shop for any yellow clothes, because when I was waiting while entering, I recalled there was one. I couldn't find it, and time was running out because the court hearing was ongoing and didn't wait for me, so I asked the shop keepers if they have yellow clothings. Two kind shopkeepers (one older one younger female) began to find it for me too.

Finally I got a yellow top, and rushed into the court. The court was full of laughter, with the judge laughing along with JY's side (JY + his lawyer), and the audience too. They were all laughing how I mistaken JY's big ass phone as his dick, how I was too sensitive and I made up what had happened... About how I am a liar... ...

The judge also announced times up, and ended the hearing as I entered.

I angrily yelled and quarrelled back. But... they were all too loud, and no one listened to me... the judge also talked over my voice... they were all laughing at me and scolding me for something I didn't even do..., and I am the fool

No one cared My friends were all in the second audience room

no one cared

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typhoon dragon, prepping items, sharing

#relative #mum #A #cecilia #caitlyn #arthur #secschool

There was a big typhoon coming, and it was a bad omen, because it was on the trajectory path to a certain building in North Point, which was infamous for being haunted (?? lol). It had eerie green lights on the outer wall of the building. There was also a Chinese style dragon emerging out of the harbour. It was menacing. The typhoon was scary.

A random relative (dad's sister) wished me happy mid autumn festival _{(this relative's daughter wished me that on whatsapp yesterday night)}

And then I went to gather with my primary school friends, Cecilia and Caitlyn

Mum wanted to buy the dress I bought for high table dinner, but we went to the department store and that shop had sold out on all dresses

I went back to the gathering spot and saw two seats next to Caitlyn (the row has Caitlyn and Cecilia). But Caitlyn was using her arm to cover the seat next to me. So I thought maybe she was reserving the seat for her sister or other closer friend, so I picked the other seat which was further from Caitlyn, which was also fine A and her friends were sitting on the row behind us.

A's friend gave a (motivational) speech on how we should deal with the typhoon.

Somehow when we were all listening, we were all taking umbrellas out. But the shopping mall was indoors.

Later there were sharing sessions about different stuff, one of the session Arthur was the guest, and he's taking a smoky blue fabric long storage box, in which clients would lie inside (lmao?? like a cat) to have their therapy session. And he's sharing about how one client was rather naughty (? not sure about the word), and used his yellow highlighter to scribble on the side of the storage box

lol now i got distracted and forgot the other parts of the dream

eventually me and Jenny led the gathering group out of the shopping mall to another spot to protect ourselves from the typhoon. It felt good to be a leader?? :)

meow meowo moewwmeowmeow

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_{://////////////////////// disapproved 14 times, no minor. Also thought and related to a lot of other stuff so I was pretty sad (not that sad but... quite sad) (some happy and some sad) (so complicated) and silently sobbed to sleep}

malfunctioning toilet & lift, chaotic parent's day, no train station

#mum #dad #secschool

ride lift from my floor to go down to another residential floor for toilet but their toilet wasn't working, the only vacant cubicle's door won't close, like it has a automatic button to make it open when you stop pushing the close button, so can't use So I ride lift again but can't go back up to my specific floor had to go back to lobby to press up to go back to my floor

later parent's day I was waiting for my exam results outside the classroom And suddenly I saw mum and dad arriving They knocked at two other classroom doors vigorously and those doors opened and told them it's the wrong door. I felt very embarrassed and scolded them angrily. Just at this time my f6 classmistress came out of our classroom door and was angry how come I speak so rudely to my parents, and scolded me I felt annoyed (and a bit embarrassed because I didn't expect I yelled so loudly at my parents either)

Riding east rail line to eat at a restaurant Mum suggested. I was riding alone and will meet them there. But I went to the very far end of east rail line still didn't encounter that station. On the ride back there were some different stations too, like japanese train having rapid and normal ones, the stations differed During the ride sometimes it was crowded, and a fat guy sat next to me and I feel bad. He didn't sit in a malicious way but he was too fat and decided to take the spot next to me. Later I changed to another seat when the train was emptier, and I also collected a plastic bowl and tray to put on my seat?? But there were quite some flies and bugs.

I think eventually we had some sushi because there was a scene where mum was paying at a japanese restaurant, while dad and I were waiting for her.

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archery fair

#mum #dad Archery fair was rather interesting. It was a semi-open space, where various booths were set up for people to enjoy or have a taste of archery. I queued up in one of the booths, and when it was my turn, the archery fair ended and everyone began to pack their stuff. So I walked around with the sample bow and arrow and played with it. I was kind of happy to be able to get these on hand to sort of use it, despite the target board was already being taken down and tidied up.

At the mean time, I tried to hide from parents after the archery fair to prevent them from finding me to grab me back to hotel with them.

news about Ruth the cat-shaped jade pendant being eaten

On the way to the hotel, I listened to the news. There was a news about a jade pendant missing and its fragments were found in the recycling bin. The man who owned the pendant, and his wife, were both troubled by it as they didn't know why would the pendant be like that, and this jade was rather important to him I think, cuz he named his cat-shaped jade (as Ruth) (lmao) and wears it every day? Eventually after investigation, the staff/ police found out that someone chewed and eaten the jade, and left some shards in the bin.

changing hotel room, potentially gross hotel room

#T The hotel room me and my family was allocated was pretty decent, but during our stay in the second day, mum told me Dad was going to ask the hotel to switch to another hotel room which had the same shape as the one we invited Aunt Helen to live in before. For me I didn't think it was necessary, so I was a bit annoyed. I also heard from others (Vincci... so random) that some of the rooms were very gross and oily and dark so I thought if we changed rooms maybe the new room would be worse.

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