This dream made me feel like as if fri sat sun mon tue has passed

buying macarons

At a bakery stall. I wanted to buy some macarons. Asked the dream friend next to me if she wanted to buy some as well, and I’ll talk to the staff on behalf for her.

There were like 5 flavours, white brown and some rainbow colours in between (* it changed later on). I got a little paper pouch to hand to the bakery guy behind the counter. I found there were already some inside of brown flavour, and told the bakery guy about it. He asked me how many were inside. Originally I said wow around 5? Cuz it looked so big and many. I handed the pouch and the guy was talking to a female staff nearby and he said there’s one. And when I thought about it and imagine it from multiple angles I saw 1 giant cookie of irregular shape. It just seemed like 5 but isn’t.

The bakery guy was very chill and easygoing and he said he’d take care of it and asked for our order.

I asked my dream friend how many would she like, she said 3, so I was also gonna order 3, making 6 in total.

She picked a brown one and I picked white – we picked one each in turns to make it more fun.

Later the flavours were changed to multiple whitish brown flavours on top of rainbow ones. There were like oreo, toffee, caramel, hazelnut flavour etc. Looked quite yummy and I was planning to pick hazelnut next.

waiting for meetup and observing a class

#uni #mum Me and Stephanie K discussed previously via text about a meetup time to get her notes or whatever. It would be on a Sunday. I was having a day off on Sunday but I still agreed.

It’s Sunday. I finally showered and dressed up in my uniform and answered most questions from my curious mum (about where I’m going and what time will I be back)

And she said she can’t do Sunday and let’s do Monday before class instead. I was very annoyed as I was already about to go out And I looked at the calendar she shared and saw today’s time was monday before class. So I said then it’s now, let’s meet at the campus then.

So I headed to campus and walked into a small computer classroom with a full class of students and a teacher all using their desktop computers. I was curious of what widgets the teacher was using for her iPad, so I walked up to the big projected screen but didn’t see anything in particular. _{(that’s because it’s the screen of the desktop computer dum dum)(prob because I was reading a list of recommended iPad games before I fell asleep)} I walked right through and walked around to see what each of them were doing. The classmates and teacher didn’t seem bothered. I wondered if they can see me actually. But nevertheless I felt nervous to be the only one walking across a focused class.

I noticed the screens of the students and found a lot of them were just daydreaming and looking at their desktop homescreen. Some were using their phones and iPads. I thought it made sense because uni classes were boring.

I walked quickly out of the classroom.

(This is more of an interlude between the previous and latter uni class dream)

kirsty and sister lucia

#primschool

Entered a food court and there was a sister sitting on my left. After her sharing she asked a question to the floor: how does sister lucia’s saliva taste like?

I leaned towards her mic and exclaimed it is sweet- no it is salty!

She asked why would I thought so? And handed me her mic.

I replied, because in primary school sister lucia kissed me (in the cheek) so I (wiped the saliva off my face and) tasted her saliva. It was in the Chinese oral speaking class when she was teaching me. And then a few years later she kissed me again so I tried the saliva again. _{(… sacrilegious) and in the dream I didn’t verbalise the brackets bc I thought it was unimportant- but bro it was a different scene}

Everyone in the food court gasped.

And then the sister and a classmate nearby asked if I know someone called 陳彥同/童. I was confused but then realised she was Kirsty, my p1 neighbour in class! _{(well actually now I’m not sure because this name seemed to belong to another classmate- but Kirsty’s name was similar)} And then I started crying as I said she was my first friend but I can’t see her anymore, she wrote down her email in a paper slip and handed to me before she left, but I lost the slip, and I have no other way of contact of her…

The people in the food court were quiet as they looked at me crying and the sister offering her sympathy.

I felt apologetic for dampening the vibe of the food court while I was crying unstoppably.

email reply from arthur

#arthur I went to class in my uni. As I was busy walking along some corridors at the back of the classroom, I saw something lit up at the side of my eye, it was my phone lying on top of my kangol totebag on a random chair at the corridor. It was an email notification from Arthur. It said “Third (title) [Arthur’s Signature section] See you later~” So I thought it was most likely a reply from my email notifying him I’d be late last week. The “Third” was likely Re: my email title _{(though idk why would it say Third, perhaps it was the third session in the dream)}

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

visiting arthur’s home

#arthur

Today’s session was at Arthur’s home. It was my first time vising there. I was wearing today’s irl pajamas aka just a dress.

We were about to begin our session when he got a bit shocked and asked me what time would today’s session end at, and I told him 4 sth pm? Maybe 5 sth, and he was seemingly feeling in trouble and needed to do some work on his computer (i suspect I clashed the time with another client at 5 sth) so I peeked around his desk and found him writing his travel journal. He stuck a few photos of him at egypt, and used felt pens to write on the book. I was pleasantly surprised we have such similar handwriting. I looked around his other piles of paper and they are all written in colourful felt pens and with the same handwriting and so I commented happily to him that his handwriting was similar to me! Then I went to his other rooms for a while and saw his bedroom behind a closet door. I went in and kneeled on the bed. I imagined him and his wife on this twin bed and yet I am kneeling on the bed with my very short dress so I was horny. There was a mirror on the side and I looked at my curves on the mirror. I wanted to take a selfie of me on his bed but I didn’t take my phone with me, so I went out of the bedroom and decided to peek around the rest of the rooms before going back to his therapy room (his study room) to grab my phone.

I glanced and saw the kitchen at the very end, and towards the other side of the corridor it was his rather spacious living room with big shelves of books.

I went back to his room and he wasn’t ready yet. He wrote a slip with blue felt pen and i guess it was for the next client to tell her to wait, but after reading I don’t think it was for that purpose. But I couldn’t recall the sentence when I woke up.

I got my phone and headed back to the bedroom, however now there were much clutter in the closet, so no matter which closet door I open, I could see the bedroom just there but I couldn’t reach it because of the clothes piled up. So I eventually decided to try and step over the clothes to reach the bed, at least closer to which I could selfie with the bed, but at this moment Arthur came out of his room and called me. I looked back and saw him reaching out his arms. I came out of the closet and he hugged and carried me, and I felt like I was back at a very young age of kindergarten to early primary, when my parents still carried me like that and when I was light enough to be carried. I was lifted high into his chest, and I held his face. I leaned over, looking straight into his eyes and face for the first time. His face was very clear. I couldn’t read his emotions, but he was at ease and perhaps his eyes were smiling. I had a strong urge to kiss him. As I was leaning forward, I felt kissing on the lips was not quite good, so I eventually kissed him just by his lip to his right. (* like how a toddler would lightly kiss their guardian on their faces)

_{(I am not even sure if I kissed my parents like that before because I really disliked doing so. I only remember my dad would rub his stubble on my face and the prickly sensation of it. I kind of miss being a very young kid, but at the same time I don’t bc school was very scary and boring and pointless asf + I had ZERO days of decent sleep back then And also hugs are scary when parents throw you and you get that centrifugal force and it would constitute in most of your childhood nightmares)}

presentation

Did 3 group presentations, and every time actually I wasn’t sure which part would be my script so I had to focus intensely and when it arrived to a familiar slide I knew it was mine and I would have to start talking without preparation, and at the mean time if my part came too late I worried if I was freeriding this presentation and I would have 0 contribution and be reported (I wasn’t anxious about freeriding I was just anxious of getting reported) And at the third presentation my slide was actually not polished and it included a bit of my personal behavioural change project part rather than the group part so while I was talking I had to explain for it and transition to a brand new group part with elaboration

_{Dreams like this are really draining and it impacted my energy level to head to school not gonna lie. They are a bit too vibrant, or maybe because I put too much effort to perform well in my dreams too. I can’t help it though I think. If I don’t work hard in the dream it would turn into a nightmare. Also my friend told me recording my dreams wasn’t too sustainable because I spent a bit too much time on it, but I like it, idk what to do. I actually don’t know if I like dreaming or not- like ofc I like seeing my therapist in my dreams and it makes me feel better during the day but I’m thinking if my dreams were too vibrant although sometimes I knew I was dreaming so I wasn’t too scared. Idk if I need to get it checked out or sth honestly.}

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

excluded in class

#secschool my f1 classmistress asked me about if she should use the starnote app for notetaking. Angelika popped in with her simple notes (post-it) and said this was written using starnote. In return she took my notebook and started drawing some calligraphy art on it. Friends^[1] (Elizabeth) were whispering to me it wasn't what you need because she was just writing US holidays like diwali. I said yeah I don't need it but it's fine I explained how starnote was unideal for her because of its lack of stability and risk of losing her notes. She thanked me. I sat relatively in front (6th column 2nd row) and I thought this was to monitor my behaviour since I was not too compliant in class seat neighbour preferred to sit with the person in front of me, and so they moved their desks and chairs and I am left alone in the double profile of seats, looked obvious and I feel quite alone there is a in class tiny competition and we were split into two groups. One half was the left side of the classroom where there were a lot of people seated so their group was large, the other side was mine with little people and already two that disliked me. I looked at the other side and found most of the “friends”^[1] I knew were there, cheering together. I was very upset with myself and I felt excluded.

^[1] These classmates were all in F2 especially the large squad (over half the class) which I had been trying very hard to enter but I couldn't. I suspect one of the reason was because I was already part of a small squad I disliked (# 6grass + when # A was still in there, and I wanted to escape from A so I tried leaving my group but that group didn't adopt me so). Or the other bigger reason was they didn't really like me. Idk :(

_{Starnote: bc I watched a redbook reel about it; US holidays and diwali: I saw it on my ipad calendar and deleted it; theme of what I really want for myself: briefly touched on therapy yesterday; f2 friends: when arthur mentioned the topic of being excluded in school I was thinking if I had any, but that time I didn't really feel much. I think I wasn't passively being excluded in f2 bc the choice of switching squads was mine. I don't think I really got excluded before. But every best friend I had had closer friends so no one ended up playing with me or doing projects with me, or having lunch with me (initially). But that's not exactly exclusion}

bj & sex w arthur

#arthur There were two rooms. There was one client and one therapist in each room. Though I think both rooms were managed by Arthur. After waiting briefly a client came out in one room and I entered.

The room initially had a hotel room layout. It was dim inside with a twin bed(?). Arthur was naked and lying on the bed.

So I decided to grab this opportunity. I hopped on bed and wanted to do a blowjob for him. (I think here his dick wasn't erected yet) But my hands were very cold and I apologised to him. He's okay with it so I tried rubbing my hands to make it warmer but it was still very cold when comparing to his erected dick. It was my first time doing a blow job and I realised how dry everything was- my mouth my hands his dick. I didn't think of using saliva or lube back then- anyways I tried and I guess he kind of liked it??

Then I sat on top of him and his dick went into me kinda smoothly. Maybe because I was quite wet. The room changed from the hotel room to the floor of our new therapy room though. However idk if it's my pussy too tight or too shallow or maybe I wasn't aroused enough so only the front part went in and I was a bit annoyed. I tried thumping more and going deeper but can't

_{Anyways I think this was the first time we were both fully naked in the dream, interesting. I think this was very linked to bc I fell asleep naked after masturbating this night lmfao}

escape game

#uni #exchange #mum #dad – initially a tutorial stage where me and another person were learning from a coach by rewriting her “codes” on our pieces of paper which would be the password to pass the puzzle with many ghosts and very poor visibility due to darkness and smog. The coach was the 2nd doctor we attached to in HHH and the codes were some Px (that was discussed in ytd's MH case session)

• then began the game with me and a few others. (actually this was the second time, I doubt if the first time was before the tutorial stage and we all died so that's why we started again)

---

random excerpt – ian – random girl invited me to waterpard (waterpark with a welsh accent I assume ??) to party, do arts and crafts, and do drugs together, i asked amy on the side how about it (bc I was a little bit tempted)

---

back to the main plot

• i had the special ability like 2 turbo boosts every like 10 seconds
• continue escape, through the back door of an outdoor carpark into the streets into AEON. Walked and saw parents shopping for groceries. I tried to walk past silently. Later I went to a noodles aisle. I wanted to try a tester with my chopsticks but a kid dipped my chopsticks into the noodle soup and I was incredibly pissed now my chopsticks were contaminated by the tester soup Then the mom of the kid came and chatted with me about this good noodle she cooked I was like yeah, (bc this mum doesn't seem like the type to apologise to the kid) And she was like eventually the noodle was a bit sweet because she added a bit too much of the sugar, and I was like ohh okay it tasted alright (actually I thought the noodle was too salty/ poor soy sauce that kind of flat salty), and I couldn't really feel the sweet after retasting although she mentioned. Then my parents arrived at the corner, I asked them why did they find me. Dad said I heard your voice and so we were searching for it and here we were! I was actually very annoyed but conflicted because part of me wanted them to take me away from the escape game and save me and give me some rest, but the other side I didn't want them to get involved in the game so I don't want them to intervene in any way

_{doing drugs: my friends were talking about this topic yesterday soup dipping incident: friend was talking about her friend dipping an uncleaned spoon directly into her soup. I was shocked bc that was trespassing my food boundary if that was my soup. Should've handed her the spoon instead of just directly dipping without asking. noodle maker mum with little kid: a mum was scolding her kid very loudly at the entrance of my building and I guessed I remembered it in the dream}

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

unhinged driving

#relative #mum It was at night when the sky was fully dark but there were still quite many cars on the road, flashing their red taillights as we were stuck in traffic. I was supposed to drive but I was a bit scared bc the road is in Shanghai and I was unfamiliar with it so aunt Helen wanted to demonstrate and mum let her. But Helen drove like crap and we almost fell off the highway bridge multiple times because she wasn't driving straight. (Wait actually we did fall off, but landed on the supporting arc of the bridge ?? So basically a narrower road and me and mum were yelling anxiously to Helen to drive straight for real or else we would actually fall into the sea) Everything was bumpy too. The next round mum wanted to “serve” her justice? So it became her turn to drive and I needed to wait again. But she drove very fast, although we didn't fall off the bridge. Quite unsafe and I was scared. She was using the size of our big car to dive into other's lines without being scared at all so her success rate was 100%. I figured out how come she was so dominant and it would always work for her.

Then it finally became my turn to drive. I drove slower and wanted to turn on the lights so I was figuring out because mainland car driver's seat was in the left side rather than right side. And mum just switched it on instantly. And I also used the signal lights to cut lines etc. I was driving safely but the road after the highway was actually bumpy as fuck and I was driving with horses that are on the road so the road was very rural. So I was driving super slowly. But eventually I finished my round.

_{(Perhaps driving almost outside the bridge was literally because of the recent news about how a plane landed at the airport but drove off into the sea, and the simulated graphics on the news were still kinda vivid in my mind)}

pbl driving

#uni I was waiting in the hospital along with my bedside group for the start of attachment. We were quite bored and Monika asked me where I bought my pokemon plushies. I listed three places for her: the first one was a small dark shopping mall we went together and saw the coin slot game machines _{(in a previous dream today)(but I didn't write here because it became a fragment)}; the other place would be also that shopping mall but the very other end of it on the ground floor where all the delicate boutiques were but they would be more pricey _{(visited this in an old dream i think perhaps I have recorded it in this site) (this shopping mall overall was in one of my another old dream too about a zombie apocalypse but I'm not sure if I recorded it either)}; the last site would be a small upstairs store i think

And then Benson suggested let's play a racing game with horses, so we took turns going out of the hospital and rode the horses, and the route was almost identical to the unhinged driving dream, but I recalled the highway part less and more riding on the horsey rough road. I was the last to go and initially I had a game tee by the horse game that was hanging on the hospital walls opp to where we were sitting and standing, but when it became my turn I gave my tee to Benson.

My horse was ridiculously tiny compared to others + my groupmates, so it was difficult for me to climb the slope on the rough hilly road. But mum appeared on another horse and told me I can press B and make the horse jump. I figured I can press space for the same function too. Anyways I got past it and returned to the hospital after my round, which I didn't feel complete because I felt my round was cut to half but I wasn't sure where I could ride a complete path. I went back and they (esp Benson) were like oh the doctor hasn't come yet, how about you play more bc my round seemed pretty short compared to them, so I said sure I was thinking about the same thing. And then I did one more of that half round and came back.

Benson returned my game tee but he modified the patterns a bit, the game characters had slightly different facial features and it was hilarious. I took that tee.

nap with pokemon in small room

_{Wasn't sure the sequence of the dreams (idk if it happened before the first dream or here), so I put it here}

I was back inside my room aka the third place where I told Monika where my pokemon were from (lol), and it was a very damp, small and dark room. I miss my Feraligatr from a cardboard box by my bed so I took it out and put it beside me. _{(tbh I think I dreamt it bc I just saw the ZA new megas and this toilet bowl pokemon blew my mind)} I checked what other pokemons were in the two cardboard boxes by my bed, they were the ones I just bought but not enough love to put them onto the bed, and they were all lizards and dragons, so I wondered oh wow I had a preference to these kind of animals. I hugged my pokemons (including Feraligatr and Riolu and others- prob Salamence) to sleep.

almost losing PE bag omw to school

#secschool #primschool (The school feels like secondary school bc of the workload and plot, but my body, mentality and my friend’s were like primary students…)

omw to school and almost late, I was holding my PE bag on my hand which had my sports clothes and shoes, while carrying my schoolbag on my back, typical to every PE class I had every week in primary/ secondary school. Then on the way I met a (dream) friend and we chatted about the school timetable because it was too chaotic recently with many school event and day offs so we didn't exactly know which day of the cycle was today. We both felt a bit relieved when we found out we were just randomly packing our schoolbags for today lmao.

Then I realised my PE bag was missing from my hand. I was worried and started to think where had I put it, but I had no time to double check my schoolbag if I put it inside because I was running late. My friend seemed concerned and we were looking on the previous roads while we were heading to school. But we couldn't see it.

So I went to school, and was telling my parents on whatsapp on the phone about the seemingly lost bag. Then I opened my backpack and found out I had already packed the PE bag inside previously somehow, and it was found again.

first cedars counselling

• this is fake dream cedars

In the dream uni the school thought I had some mental needs so they told me to go to the counselling team and it was a mandatory order. So I climbed up the stairs to a higher floor where their office should be, but it directed it down to the lower floor where the entrance was. There was a few questionable signs in front of the entrance. The signs were just floor directories for their office, but then the words were like xx /F: triaging, intake and baptism ; xx /F: counselling rooms and prayer rooms etc. and the bottom was a line from those teachings aka a “Bible-like verse??”, so they made it super religious and I didn't like it. So I was selfie-ing with the signs and posted on my public ig story with a qna button, and the auto prompt kind of suited my scenario, so although I was a bit hesitant in posting that, I still did it. The prompt was: What should you say to a person who was suicidal?

Anyways I went inside and saw a white square sofa with a thick airy white blanket so I lied inside and napped, but I saw people queuing up for something, so later I joined the queue and it was the triaging place.

A staff directed me to another spacious room where we wait after triaging (their triage was basically recording your name and DoB and idk perhaps faculty/ degree program). The staff was confirming names with others at the table and one of the boy had an identical chinese name to me, and the staff introduced me to the boy and told us we could chat together. At the table Brian was sitting too.

Waited for not very long time when a male counsellor led me to his room on another floor via stairs. He started talking really boring shit like exercise and health and whatnot. This has been going on for like 15 mins and we were watching a documentary about how cells replicate their DNA...... and then another video comparing the prevalence of occupational osteoarthritis with other shit. _{(This video was shot on a bus, and somehow the dream technology also enabled us to be immersed in the video and riding a bus while learning that)} And he told me I can do an assignment project on that public health topic. And at this point I thought this was way beyond boring as a counselling session, so I told him actually I am a medical student and I have already learnt it. And about the comparing prevalence rate, I have already done it before at school. He didn't believe I did that exact thing, because the topic was original and made by the cedars (main campus counselling team). And I said no, it was really identical. It was legit the topics mentioned by the Department of Health in a leaflet before. He asked when did I do it. I said probably primary. He answered it make sense then.

He stopped the video, and back into the office environment he was sitting by my side on the right. Then I said he was quite boring and he wasn't really counselling. (sth like that) And he told me to look at his (hand? forgot). I looked. And then he told me to look at his eyes. I looked up and saw his eye was half open and I could only see most of the sclera and little pupil because his eye wasn't opening wide. I became very upset and started to whine into his shoulder. He asked gently what happened, while I continued to shove myself more into his shoulder. I said I couldn't even see your pupil and he was not even looking at me. :( And then I told him he looked and his vibe was a bit like Arthur but he was not. Arthur wouldn't avoid my eyes even if I seldom look at him, but every time I looked he would always look back at me. (Firmly and gently, without wavering and avoiding like this dream guy) :( And then I told him I was actually here because I want to figure out how I can be better in the sessions with Arthur, and open my hearts more and become more authentic during my sessions.

However this cedars policy was a bit interesting in a way that you need to see two different counsellors for 30 minutes and then your whole session would be an hour. This dream therapist seemed hurry and we were running out of time unfortunately, he checked the time and it was past :40 so we ran down the stairs to get back to the initial room (with white sofa) in order to hand me over to the next counsellor. He wrote onto a board about a “discussion topic” seeing counsellor at whatever time. But I was walking towards the triage table to find familiar faces, so I didn't see when he was writing, and I didn't know which line was mine because none really suit me lol I continued sitting while I saw Brian still waiting at that initial table. Then I left and sat on the sofa where the therapist guy discharged me at.

On the sofa I saw a familiar face of a staff woman walking by, my brain said it was someone whose name started with F (like Fiona) but I couldn't make out who was actually this person.

Then I began to imagine what title I should give this dream. (in the dream) My first thought that popped out was “artist uproar” (it made sense in the dream...) and then later I woke up and saw it was almost time for school but I decided to nap a bit more to figure out another topic but this time was even worse “spicy girl and crazy habits”

_{I think I dreamt this “first cedars counselling session” because my friend just went there for her first session two days ago and yesterday me and my other friend were chatting about it with her}

_{And by now I was officially late for school and typing all this out spent another hour and I am still on my bed while the lesson started...... sajhdklsdkfh}

_{So I slept again}

picking cushions

#arthur

I was at a backyard with many grass and some cushions here and there. So I was picking up and collecting the cushions and moving them into the red house. It’s like a little egg hunt. I also found an easter egg (non literal) someone left on the outer wall of the house, behind the decoy I found an B6 celebratory card and a small wooden red block in butterfly shape which should be a toy. I focused on the block so I didn’t read the words written with thick black marker on that card decorated with gold lining.

Then after moving all the pillows I could find, I returned into the house as it was quite sunny outside. When I was walking around and browsing my collection (rectangular pillows, square pillows, special pillows, baby fabric books, kid toys idk just categorised into many open baskets 貨籃? and kind of like IKEA), Arthur came and asked which one have I chosen, and I thought maybe I was supposed to choose a cushion to sit on during my sessions and to decorate my room

He pointed to a star shaped one and asked how about this, I told him that one was too hard to sit on. So he pointed to the few dice cushions next to it. I said they were a bit small but I can try. So I took one and tried to sit on it, but again the material was harder than I expected so it was uncomfortable. But I didn’t have good suggestions either so I just brought it with me.

Dream ended abruptly- I think there was an item I was holding afterwards in the dream which suddenly reminded me of real life, so I just woke.

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

therapy in bedroom

#arthur

Got some stacks of memo slips from the living room after asking my mum for permission, and restocked them in my bedroom for general use + studying. And then I headed out to the streets. I saw a digital bulletin and there was a new twitter account, and people were discussing about it. I didn’t quite catch the details but I looked it up nevertheless. Not knowing what to do with this piece of random information, I just continued walking. I think I liked a tweet though, not sure, but I did interact slightly with the account.

I went to the arena for some reason, and played some irl splatoon… I remember I was playing the nautilus and ballpoint for the yellow team and I think we were winning. I forgot who was on the opposite team but I think it was people I know _{(oh i miss gaming)}

Then I headed back home with an ecchi anime magazine I bought at a bookstore around where people were discussing about the twitter account.

Then it was time for my therapy session. This time it was a bit special where Arthur was going to my home and meet me in my bedroom. (Mum wasn’t home I think, so she wouldn’t know about it)

He sat in my wheelie office chair while I sat on my bed (bc there’s only enough space for that). I was lowkey surprised he can easily sit in the chair because my room was so cramped I need to adjust the chair at a particular angle to shove myself in, irl. (The bedroom is identical to irl) He displayed the same account as the one shown in the bulletin boards on the streets on a digital display on my bed. He said this was his. I was like ooh, and then I followed him. I scrolled down and see he replied a tweet from another client, iirc the client was tweeting about starting therapy and then Arthur replied a single word but I forgot what, but it had a positive valence. Lowkey I felt it was inappropriate to respond publicly because you will be the one exposing you are her therapist

But I was a little bit jealous ngl, but then Arthur was like I recognise your twitter account and looked through it a bit And then we started chatting but he replied something questionable like I wish you could like more of my tweets or something like that (I can’t exactly remember), plus he started talking in a slightly more friendlier and intimate tone with symbols (… I saw his speech has a ♡ symbol and he was choosing an emoji when making his sentence, like typing) And I was feeling like woah that’s not professional at all But I just went with the flow, and I used my hand to grab the hovering emojis he was choosing and used one of them to reply Arthur. _{(I hope this is understandable- me grabbing a physical/ AR hovering text symbol from his speech bubble he was building in progress like a merge of swipe to type and jigsaw puzzles to form sentences as he was speaking it out) (this was how I visualise to interpret and form sentences for conversations when I was small too… speaking of which I did have dreams with people “speaking” that way when I was young ~primary school too!)} And then I showed him my ecchi magazine, cuz there was a page inside with us hugging each other but in anime style _{(thinking back it was literally just a generic brown haired NPC with a purple haired anime girl which fits none of my OCs lol)}

At some point I think I showed him my toy and I was trying to use it but it was too weak so I was not aroused, or maybe my posture wasn’t right

Anyways we had an interesting session

_{(I think this dream makes a bit of sense to a certain degree, since their office is moving soon but without an eta, the next session was changed to zoom so basically I would be zooming on my bed regarding the toy perhaps it was because we mentioned related stuff while discussing about my sensory and interospection issues About the friendlier ♡ thing I think it was bc of a playful joke we made at the start of last session (basically I complemented Arthur’s new hairstyle (he tied a little bun !!!) I told him he’s super 得意 (≈cute/ fun?) and he replied not as cute as you) LOL (We had a strong rapport, this was our dynamic, I knew his personality was just like that and I knew clearly it was a joke although I’m aware i like to imagine and project a ton of shit using my transference) but I told Ivan and he said he wanted to report him for that :p I guess he didn’t pass the vibe check}

Even more problematic psychologist online friend

Ok this friend was back in like senior primary junior high school era, I met him when we were in mcig In the dream he was a psychologist We were texting in whatsapp and he told me about his new client who fell head over toes for him, he was smirking (sent smirking stickers) while he was showing me their convo. The girl was Harm*n who was sitting next to me in f1 They texted so much and the tone was like dating And I kinda was jealous again _{(bruh he wasn’t even Arthur)} so I also texted him more I think I wanted sex bc the toy from last dream wasn’t useful at all But I knew it was so problematic as a psychologist to do whatever he was doing now, but if I view him through my lenses of being an online friend only, it seemed better _{(perhaps this is also one of the reason why you can’t have double relationships in therapy} So I asked what he’s doing and he said he was watching netflix And I asked him when would he come visit me So he asked me what city I was in And I only knew that point he wasn’t even in my city so I was a bit disappointed lol

_{(seemed like I get jealous when the therapists cross their boundaries for another client. Happened in both dreams alr. That’s kinda toxic)}

---

_{I’m feeling a bit bad bc most of my dreams now are Arthur-related (and I tend to skip recording those that are not lmao), I hope I don’t bore you guys if any are actually reading this blog}

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

Referral to social worker

#arthur I think the social worker is helping me with eating issues although i don’t have an ed He was seeing me because Arthur referred me to him Initially a bit hea and I’m just writing down notes And i thought it was a bit important for him to know my comorbidities like ptsd but idk how much he knew about it since idk how Arthur phrased his referral letter So i just repeated my whole incident out And he’s a bit concerned and a little bit mindblown and asked me what uni am i from, (bc he connects with a lot of unis) So i told him duh the one in the incident and he’s like right Anyways yeah _{(wow improvement from last time’s where i couldn’t speak of it without being conscious, i can show my emotions too)}

Naked with apron visiting Japanese temple

Phone low battery Should be meeting up with parents but we were travelling separately Stuck in the train station Bc my apron is a bit too loose and flashes my nipples from time to time

Arthur’s new famous ig account

100k likes in one of his posts I found this acc initially but i forgot about it, and this time it was ivan who sent me his post So i was stalking again and found he was riding a nanny van. I looked around in the one i was currently in, which has timothy (uni), heidi, kaka (?) and others, and i was presuming this is a nanny van from taikoo to my high school (lmao although they dont live there) But this time arthur wasn’t in the van and presumably i was sitting in his seat/ the angle where he took the photo and posted it So I dmed heidi to ask about it although it would be awkward but i still did it for the sake of knowing So she replied me verbally on the van she saw his luggage and luggage tag which said his name And she asked me is he your counsel— I was like shhh And i asked her where is he now But she didn’t reply (ig she wasnt sure too) So i asked her again but also no reply So i just continued stalking his posts He had a short clip where he was a group cast for a movie and he was wearing police clothes with a gun and i find him kinda hot in such costumes and i was thinking how it would like to touch him in that beefy suit

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

exam things and gaming

I had to do a meta analysis during my exam Also played a bunch of coop minecraft with friends? I was using a controller though

love hotel with Arthur

#arthur

I was at a little mountain for an outdoor class (I forgot who were there). I climbed a bit further than the rest of the group so when the class was about to dismiss I had to walk back down. Arthur was one of the mentors, and he waited for me on the stairs of the mountain, so we became the last in the group. He called a taxi and it arrived quickly, and I asked if I could ride it as well. He was okay with it, and opened the door for me. I let him enter the taxi first. (We both took the backseat.) The inner seat had a few throws and quilts on it, presumably left by the taxi driver, anyways he sat inside and I followed. The taxi was a bit cramped so my shoulder was touching to his, I looked at his side and he was actually wearing a black windbreaker, which was similar to or identical with my black arcteryx jacket that I wore almost every day during my exchange.

We got off the taxi in one of the streets. It felt like Japan, and specifically near one of the very few familiar metro stations I sometimes dream of recurrently. The sky was already dark by the time we got off the cab, and I stood at the right of Arthur as we walked along the streets, locking his arms in mine. It was almost the corner where we would turn left and enter the metro station, but I didn't want to. I looked at the LED banner of the department store (actually a several storeys love hotel) right before the corner. Arthur asked me, wanna go in? I said yes, and so he turned into the store, alongside me, who was sticking in his arms.

The store has several non-connected lifts, i.e. you have to transit between lifts to reach different floors. To filter off suspicious people like idk police? or illegal prostitutes, and allowing genuine couples to enter.

At first we took a lift right in front of the entrance that should be leading us to 1/F where the general reception was, but it went down to -1/F. Actually during the lift ride I was so weak and steamy from the realisation that Arthur indeed proposed we fuck, in addition to while we both knew that Arthur had a wife and this was all in secret, so my legs were trembling from being weak and I was so wet down there it was actually dripping.

I was a bit shy for making the lift floor dripping with secretion, so I teleported back to home (still unconsciously, not lucid dreaming) to get some tissues to wipe myself to at least not let it drip. I was wiping myself in the corridor when my mum walked out of the toilet and saw me. I just told her I was wiping, and asked her not to step onto the drippings on the floor, which she already didn't before I reminded her. She left. I was super aroused still and wondered how would it look like if I have a dick and being aroused at this level. So as I was walking to my bedroom, I looked down and saw I had an erected dick. But then my dick seems like the size of people in senior primary/ junior secondary school aka it was a bit small...... Anyways it felt interesting to see my arousal presented in a physical, observable form.

(while sleeping I can feel my blood just goes down lol, quite exciting)

I was back in the space with Arthur as we walked out at -1/F and there was a lady with a writing board, she apologised for sometimes the lift being a bit malfunctioning and flagging people out of random. She said if people were rightly flagged they would be trapped here forever since there would not be any buttons to call the lift to fetch them in -1/F. She unflagged us and accompanied us to ride the lift back up to ground level, to guide us onto a correct lift. During the lift trip she asked/ chatted about basic things like what brought us here. And I answered her 今日係即興，不過其實已經諗咗好耐。(it was impromptu today, but actually [we] had it in mind for a while already.) She seemed to be approving of our response. Actually Arthur was just standing lovingly behind me and holding me so although he didn't speak, we seemed like a sweet, genuine couple.

She escorted us out of the lift and she left. We then took another lift at the inner side of the department store which was the correct lift. We lifted the cover fabric with a giant puppy printed on it, and saw the back of the lift, so we went to the other side where the door was. It was quite tricky so perhaps this is one of the ways to prevent unknown guests from accessing the love hotel.

Then we went to 1/F successfully where we were given a number, 170, and proceeded to take another lift to 2/F, where the rooms were.

The 2/F was so big with many signs as if we were at the airport searching for gates. We walked for a while when I realised 170 was probably our room number, as I assumed it was a queue number previously. We walked to find signs for directing us to 170. Actually by this time we had already wasted a lot of time and my drive is losing and I was worried the more time we stalled, the more Arthur did not want to fuck anymore or regret bringing me to a love hotel/ having conscience to be loyal to his wife. And irl it was around 7 or 8am and my bedroom was bright which made me semi-awake and I was definitely not pleased by it !!!!!!

I struggled to keep myself sleeping and return to the unconscious state in the dream (because there was no point if you become fully conscious) And all I remember while we were walking slowwwwwwly around the floor was hearing passerbys chitchatting about the 170 room being so messy with so many liquids all over the room and nobody wants to claim/ use the room. So I was feeling a bit like uh oh our room might be disastrous and idk how it would play out.

And then I just couldn't dream anymore as I was waking up by the sunlight :(

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

late night walk with friends

#sushiro #charlottec #arthur

Our squad, sushiro, went on a late night walk on the streets/ near the promenade for sightseeing purposes. _{(Probably because my another squad had a gathering at SYP + Ktown promenade last night)}

We walked past a bunch of different things by the sea, for example, you can shake hands and interact with sealions and animals that were chilling there, visit small stores whatever. It was a blur after I woke up, but one of the things I had the biggest impression is shaking hands with a new creature, a “sea-seahorse” (the size was like a fat sealion with coarse wet skin that was 180cm tall, with the beak/ mouth part similar to a dolphin, or a horse??). This sea-seahorse introduced himself to me and we shook hands, when he noticed my scars on my arm. He said he saw the scars, so I looked down onto my arm and saw my scars glittering in many different colours, with tiny stars popping here and there. It was very pretty, and it was a stark contrast to the darkness of the late night especially by the shore where there isn't much light. I was very touched and a bit glad and replied with a slight exclamation: You saw it! You are the first one so far who noticed! My other two friends of the sushiro group were busy chatting with other sea creatures on my right so they didn't noticed our interesting conversation and they still didn't know about the scars (on my left arm).

After a while of walking, we went to sit at a table in a building (I forgot if it's a restaurant or Arthur's clinic). There are also other people sitting at other tables. We were just chatting and I asked Ruby how to do the fingering (cuz idk how to finger myself pleasurably). And then Ruby just flip up her skirt to demonstrate. Me and Charlotte were like aaaaaaaaa fr here???? But Ruby was like yeah And I guess me and Charlotte's exclamation attracted the attention of the table behind me aka in front of Ruby and they can easily see Ruby's stuff from their perspective. Anyways Ruby demonstrated. aaaaaaaaaa

Later Arthur came and I said hi. He saw me. But I am not sure if it's because he was supposed to be working with Ruby this time, but he was quite focused on chatting with Ruby (she was sitting properly now), so he didn't reply to me. After Arthur and Ruby chatted briefly, we four began to watch the TV they had in the room, which was an unboxing and introduction video to a leather wallet. Coincidentally, I had the same wallet (but slightly different texture in the inner compartment) in the dream so I tried to show and tell them about me having the actual thing here! But they didn't respond and kept watching the show. I think Charlotte looked at me for a bit, Ruby too, but Arthur completely ignored me and was chatting with Ruby about the show. I tried to attract Arthur's attention in other ways I forgot (but definitely not the seducing kinds) but he didn't even bat an eye. I was too bored and a notification popped out from my phone. A rare strong pokemon showed up in pokemon go. I wanted to tell Arthur but by this time I kind of given up because he was likely to be ignoring me. So I was playing it and I felt a bit ashamed and useless because my hobbies are all the same as his and I don't have something I am interested in organically by myself.

There were three battles before I can catch the pokemon and my pokemons died in the battles quickly so I lost it. While I was playing that, they seemed to be done with their business so I was following them (sushiro) back into the streets.

working in hotel mart cashier

#mum

Then I entered a hotel and after checking in to my hotel room, the hotel gave me a job as the cashier helper for their mini mart by the reception. Basically those are all self-serving cashier kiosks and I am just a helper, so the workload was pretty simple. I was registering new products to the cashier, which are four different kinds of earplugs from Sony and Apple. I was also teaching my even fresher staff how to do these and one of the staff is my mum (but I wasn't surprised at all in the dream). I tried to listen on one side of the earplugs as I was registering them because I was curious on how they sound. And my mum also tried out some too. But eventually after finished registering them on the kiosk we were reassembling the earplugs back to the case, and matching the series and colours, but couldn't find most of the missing earplugs that we wore. So I was very confused because after wearing those one by one and only choosing the left side and placing it on the kiosk bench with care, it was impossible to lost them. And the dream ended.

_{After waking up I think maybe my staff were wearing them and forgot to take them off, idk bruh}

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

after class and protecting stray kitten

#arthur #mum

After class we were all packing our schoolbags We were also distributing some discount sheets for some particular people in the class including me in a hurry so it is not obvious. The sheets are related to extra classes (or therapy) Arthur is teaching/ giving us. I passed mine to Chi Nok who was beside me, because in the dream I thought he was in the class too, and I thought I’ll get another one, but the last sheet I got is a promotion cover sheet instead of the discount coupons which I was actually supposed to keep. So basically I gave my coupon away. I was like ah it sucks a little but idc.

I walked home on the bridge from my old train station, while thinking I’m going to commit once I got to my estate. On the bridge I saw my mum walking towards me, which was a coincidence, she talked to me about something I forgot now, but I found her annoying because she disrupted my suicide thought and I shooed her away.

I needed to walk past a little garden and an old stone bridge across a little river in order to reach my estate, which was kinda interesting. _{(the feelings reminded me of my exchange dorm and the scenery reminded me of tsinghua for some reason?? although they dont look alike)}

Reaching my estate, the scenes were familiar like in some very old previous dreams. _{(Now I think it was similar to my dreamed 家維邨+ kindergarten/primary hybrid scene)} I found a stray kitten alone just chilling there, I picked it up because I was scared it would get hurt. I walked around pinching the cat neck to find a spot with more humans to place it down so that there would be more people looking out for the kitten. I walked to an area with loads of stray cats and kittens, they look calm but somehow I was scared the kitten would get bullied and attacked by them so I didn’t place it there. I walked to another alley and I saw loads of rats and hamsters kept pouring out of a sewer hole and I was like oh shit wow ew ah and then I ran away, and I saw the rats spreaded to the cat area but all the cats are just chilling when I thought the rats would scratch and eat the kittens for some reason. Finally after walking around a lot I was back to my original spot after recognising the little stone bridge from the start and walking over it. And I returned the stray kitten I have been holding back to its spot, which was the safest spot for her, although it wasn’t the most ideal from what I have been searching for. And the kitten was just chilling there on its own again.

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ

meeting wellness team at dining hall; arthur pacifying me after A's provocation

#arthur #T #A

The dining hall is connected to a big supermarket, you need to get pass the supermarket in order to get to where the tables are.

On the way I saw the wellness team walking by, seems like they are having some things going on here (like a booth)

Walked back to wander in the supermarket, when I saw A. I ignored her but I heard she called me. [my name], she called nicely. I turned and saw she holding a piece of patterned clothes thingy, but I can't see clearly because I don't have my glasses. She said, this is for you (sth like that), I think you would like it. I said thanks, and then I stepped closer to see what it was, it was newborn baby clothes. So I continued, but maybe you need it more, how about keeping this for yourself? And then I left

I was very scared if she would be following me so I was looking around vigilantly since then. I was almost there at the dining hall when I encountered A, but I decided to turn back with a different route to find wellness team. I got past the cashier and back to where they were setting up stuff previously. I saw Vincci and Ruth passing by. Ruth had earlobe earrings and I looked closer and saw she actually had 5 piercings on her right ear, and also she had some makeup (black sparkly eyeshadow!!!) on and she looked super hot, and I was breathing heavily haha. But anyways Arthur wasn't here so I walked back to the dining hall where supposedly the rest of the team is meeting schoolmates for briefing/ reg day stuff whatever

I was back and I saw Billy and another lady's table, I originally wanted to go there because at least they are counsellors and are ready, but their table is full, I was creeping and walking alertly the whole time as I was really scared of seeing A. But then they noticed me and pointed me to another table, where I found Arthur and another few unknown therapists are there. There were only a few seats left (I saw monika in one of the seats and some of my younger high school schoolmates on other seats), Arthur was talking to an old man with grey hair, perhaps an invited guest, and I took the remaining empty seat next to an unknown therapist. The unknown therapist seemed to left her bag and left, when I was looking at Arthur.

I guess Arthur saw my troubled face and he came to chat with me. He stood at the back of my chair and I guess he wanted to ask me how I was doing, but the schoolmates were already crowding around me chatting about their issues or whatever, so it wasn't convenient for me and Arthur to have a private chat. Arthur put his hands on my shoulder and I felt very hot and a bit physically thrilled in a pleasant way. But I was still jolty and looking for signs of A. Arthur put his left finger on my lips but I was scared people would see this happening because it wasn't supposed to, so I tried to turn to my right as it was closer to the wall. But he continued touching my lips when I turned back. He also put his finger within my lips and I felt i was beyond wet and weak now. Very intense but seemed the crowd of schoolmates didn't notice our intimacy. And I was still jumpy whenever I see someone who seemed like A in my line of sight. So I wasn't fully in the mood for such intimate actions but I sorta enjoyed it (didn't get wet or really aroused irl this time tho, I just had raised heart beat and feeling flustered) _{(I think I imagined this because I saw a super hot gif *nsfw? of a girl sucking a man's finger on tumblr and I was imagining that as Arthur's hand yesterday)}

school bus adventure on way home

#cecilia #uni #6grass

• nanny van with the auntie from me when I was Primary six

• ordering lunch boxes on van but no one wanted the salmon with white broth (white broth is not yummy irl)– the one sitting next to me asked don't you like salmon lol, I say not with this lunch set

• Went to centennial campus Lg floor/ or did we go separately? We had a lecture and after class me and a few friends like Vienne, and Monika were wearing green gown and discussing where to eat lunch.

• went to a big building as a middle resting point. We were playing in one of the toilets upstairs and cecilia find me making jokes a littttle bit suggestive so she pushed me out of the toilet for fun (we had fun), and then I went to the staircase to check at the irl time with my irl apple watch and found it's time to go to school so now im typing this

· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ ⊹ · ₊ : ⊹· ₊ʚ ɞ