deep sharing

At a random study room People were writing down what they were aiming for in life/ purpose in life on memo slips

A lot of people wrote the same thing (i forgot what but it sounds good, I think it’s something like enjoy life) but that’s not what I was thinking of because I haven’t sort out what I should do honestly So I wrote something along the lines of discovering new stuff/ fun stuff/ passion/ life/ every day (?? I forgot

gaming and hotpot

#cecilia #primschool I was playing splatoon 2/ 3? in a team with my nintendo switch at the tournament Our team was competing with another team There were spectators

And the opposite team were bots So basically this match was humans vs bots And we lost

The spectators on the bot side were cheering Those on our side just sat there with a bored annoyed face I felt embarrassed because the bots were supposed to be dumb

But because I haven’t played for so long I spent a lot of time learning the controls and I forgot how stuff worked, so I kept getting destroyed by the other team

After that Cecilia (primary school bff) led some primary/ secondary school classmates came to our table with lots of ingredients to make hotpot

And they cooked and shared the hotpot with us happily, because we worked in the tournament

woman singing

#mum Later I was watching a show between two big beefy black basketball player on TV. They were chit chatting with the judge on the basketball ground before starting the competition.

The right dude went inside the changing room and came out. They were putting on a show. The “black guy” started singing cantonese songs. I was very surprised. I looked at him and said to my mum, next to me, hey this was funny I didn’t expect that, and he was pretty good at cosplaying as a woman

And my mum said, she’s a woman the whole time

So I was a bit shocked

_{(thoughts: reminded me of that one time I shared a 小紅書 video to my mum about makeup, and my mum instantly pointed out the “woman” was a man. I denied and said she has to be a woman because she looked like one. She said no, women doesn’t sound like that. We scrolled through the page, she didn’t declare her gender but didn’t feel straight. So I looked again and realised she’s transgendered. And I felt a bit dumb for not realising that. I kept assuming the wrong gender for other people too}

supplementary revision

#secschool #PBLmate #uni On my way from cym/ meng wah complex Someone called me and so I stopped Her face was identical to a secondary school schoolmate but we haven’t been in the same class before. Her name was Melissa (but in the dream I mixed up with Vanessa, and I do have a supplementary friend who called Vanessa) She was asking me about a med question she was confused about So I explained to her in detail (It made perfect sense in dream but I knew irl it was made up) She was very thankful Turns out she’s taking supplementary too She asked me again what my EY choices are, she forgot the sem 2 exchange one So I told her again (i didnt feel like I have met her before in the dream though) And she reassured me. So I encouraged her too. I ask her where she’s going rn She said to the library So we walked there together to revise together Dream ended. (Edit: I think I also say something about me going for therapy, and Vanessa also asked who else was having therapy. And I didn’t tell her about Ivan)

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park & grad gown, chasing game

#mum #dad Went to park w family (seems like a japanese mini amusement park) Different stations in the park, if you have to go to the end of park you have to finish the stations one by one

There was a puzzle with a cannon ball, and if u want to move it to open the exit, u need to follow the guide and collect stuff and activate some fans and push the ball to the right spot Feels like mario odyssey

Anyways I failed, because i think it just cannot be done physically I cant use freaking tissues and feathers to push and shoot the heavy cannon ball

_{(thoughts: It reminded me of my clogged brain for this academic year and I physically couldn’t do it)}

So I gave up the puzzle and walked straight through it to the next station

But then when I sneaked to the next station, it was an empty land with a car (I feel like it’s some sort of bumper car arena)

But because I haven’t finished the last puzzle, this one wasn’t activated (The car works cuz I sat inside and it can move, but there’s no puzzle activated and I can’t see the exit) So I tried to fiddle with the switches that the cannon ball supposed to hit

But it doesn’t work

And I clicked some wrong switches so my car suddenly moved in reverse gear and in circles and it was hard to control, cuz in the dream I don’t think I have a steering wheel

I was scared so I hopped off the moving car and ran back to the last puzzle

I was staring at the cannon ball for a bit when my mum waved and called me. They happened to walk by, but they’re at the area outside the puzzle (the park used those… retractable fences (those metal poles where they have a fabric line that you can pull out like a retractable measuring tape)? To fence off the puzzle area

They called me to come, so I walked nearer Turned out they purchased customised grad gowns for themselves So basically at the cashier, since these Japanese were creative, they designed some little vests to go along with your gown, so it looks cuter and not as dull They bought a light blue one and a dark blue one i think

I told them, but I haven’t finished the puzzle yet, I haven’t graduated

They said nah it’s time to buy one, they’re about to run out of stock! The light blue one was unavailable already! Choose one which one would you like Dad chimed in to say the dark blue linen one was good! I looked at it but find it a bit too grey But the rest was worse so I chose it

After they got the gowns, I asked my mum to help me with the puzzle And we three went to do the cannon ball puzzle (actually I just observed them) And they easily solved it for me (we were doing it the same way but somehow two people were stronger than one)

And then my parents said done and we left

Maybe the empty bumper car park was the finishing area… not sure…

_{(thoughts: this may be the first recent dream that mum was actually doing something useful- I think it’s because mum finally sat down for the first time yesterday night to actually ask me and listened to how I’m doing at school- without throwing a tantrum about me not working hard enough. (uhm although she did yesterday) and she’s normalising my rather abnormal experience of amnesia to the point I got lost at the lab that I went frequently (im not sure if she’s just trying to be nice because I looked like I’m on a strike and gave up or something) (i dont know) (I don’t think she realised my mental health was shit)}

_{(also rather ironic that dad noticed a subtle poor old lady that needs help on the street and so he gave a lot of things to her, but he didn’t seem to realise I also need some help) (And yesterday I finally remembered last summer before I got really depressed I knew it was something to do with covid but not covid itself… I searched through my gallery and my digital footprints but because I was sick I didn’t leave much. Now I recalled something really disappointing. I think I’ll write here in case I forget again. I was terribly sick so in the morning around 6am I finally got up from the bed we were all sleeping in, to throw up in the toilet. I threw up black/ brown stuff. I was horrified because according to my study notes brown vomit indicates something really bad inside- because it was old red blood cells I was having fever and wanted to faint and bla bla bla anyways after sitting in the toilet to ready myself I walked back and woke them up, despite feeling bad because they’re sleeping soundly. But I really wanted to go to the hospital (I hated eating meds and going to the hospital- and this was the first time when I actually wanted to get help) But they told me it was too early and they’ll sleep more and take me there later, despite I told them I can’t and I wanted to go now, they slept again So I waited in great discomfort until around 9? (because I am too weak to go to the hospital alone) (Maybe 9 was fast.. but the hospital was near… and I can’t wait that long) So I was really disappointed in my parents Yeee story time ended I couldn’t remember this till now, surprise}

I was in a 1v1 chasing game To this point i think I had too many chasing game dreams so I’ll skip the plot The setting was in minecraft and we can fly and jump into buildings / blocks

Oh the scary part During sleep I suddenly felt there were two palms holding my head, they felt super real but they weren’t my hands. Feel like some old lady witch. And they came from behind me, but behind me was a wall. I was super scared idk what she? Would do to my head..!!!? Rip it off!?????? Hang me !????? And my heart rate goes up, and unfortunately my watch alarm also goes off (vibrations) and those vibrations were kind of fast and sync to my heartbeat Holy shit so i open my eyes slightly, i can still feel the hands, but I moved mine and they really weren’t mine, and there were no blankets around my face so idk where the sensation came from ajahajshsj and it’s not my mum because the door was closed fuck And after i widely open my eyes and move a bit, the hands retreated and gone

Anyways we swapped to another scene:

rushing hw

#secschool #teacher

Doing chinese homework during form period (“classmistress time” that we can do anything) Because next lesson was chinese and we needed to hand it in

My neighbour saw Chinese teacher outside the door (we have a little glass panel by the door) And thought she didn’t come in because it was locked Meanwhile I was thinking she didn’t come in because our classmistress (the f6 one btw) was still inside I didn’t want her to come yet because I haven’t finished the hw, so I pretended I didn’t notice Anyways the class were gesturing the door wasn’t locked, so she opened the door My classmistress was tidying the desk for her

Anyways finally she was announcing she was going to collect the homework by the end of today, at 18:30, instead of during the lesson. So I was relieved. But I think maybe she saw me doing the homework so she extended it slightly.

_{(irl: this chinese teacher was pretty nice. There was a dictation but I failed because I tried and couldn’t memorise the sentences lol, and she wrote some encouraging words. And then in the next dictation I worked hard to memorise the damn passage and got 100, so she wrote some words of congratulations and gave me a stamp hahaahhaah)}

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There are multiple dreams

alienated at school

#secschool #primschool #charlottec I was walking on the street during a return trip in seconary school study tour i was walking (alone) with the queue from other class They were all revising for dictation, holding textbooks to memorise I wasn’t holding the book like them They laughed at me, said some mean sentences and kind of wanted to push me out of the way (It seemed it was because they’re jealous I wasn’t holding a book to revise, so maybe I didn’t have dictation, but they probably didn’t know I have dictation too and already revised)

Somehow (idk if it was the same dream), I was on a shuttle bus, I saw charlotte diagonally behind me. The seat i chose, there was a black guy from the seat behind me and extend his legs onto my seat (there are no 靠背 for my seat so he can put his legs) I tried to move his legs or passive aggressively use my bag to kind of move but he didn’t move

Anyways I sat in the small half without his legs and turned around to talk to charlotte

I turned back to front and later turned back again wanting to talk to her, ans realised she changed seats and sat further away

Anyways I got off the bus later and got to school. (The class was secondary school students but the school was primary school) Me and the bad class went for the morning assembly And when it finished, I immediately ran to the further staircase (there were three staircases at school) and hid there

I met with some kids I looked after in primary when I was a school prefect We chatted And they led me to their classrooms where I took a sneak peek at their current classes. I felt happy for them

And I was still watching for any mean classmates who were seeking for me

I was kinda worried

But eventually I had to get back to the crowd So I went back to the staircase they were using

I was surprised to see they all were dressed weirdly- their bodies became obese but jelly/ crystal like, and they didn’t fully pull up their panties I can see some cabbages in their anus I was confused and asked them They told me they were punished

only one in MHFA

So I was at uni campus, after lecture Ivan was walking and I saw A wanting to have lunch with Ivan, I was jealous and slightly angry, so I waved happily at them to say hi Because I told Ivan and he knew A was rather bad

Anyways they chatted for a bit and separated paths

So the three of us went separate ways because Ivan didn’t come up to me either

Later I received a whatsapp notification from someone in the volunteer helped team, she added me to a MHFA group I looked inside to see what people were inside Seems except me, the others were helpers/ mentors And later people from our group got added to another big group Turned out they combined two MHFA group because there were too little people (the other group only has 3 participants and some mentors)

I felt slightly embarrassed because I didn’t want to be in the spotlight

Arthur’s old ig acc

#ivan #arthur I was walking around and saw a shop and their title is ポケノモン I was weirded out because it was pokenomon So I searched on ig (In the middle of searching I got a notif I got followed by an acc with huge following and only followed 8 people, and posted only scenery pic of their house) And ig search suggestions gave me an acc of a labrador (i assumed it was not golden retriever in the dream somehow) The dog’s name was Latx Profile pic was Arthur and Latx The ig profile was made in memory of Latx, apparently it died and it was a dog he had well before Amber

I read the ig bio and searched for words I didn’t understand Turned out he had a condition where he couldn’t sleep for more than half of sleeping hours (not ‘insomnia’) And he followed a bunch of pride accs

Lol And then I sent it to ivan Ivan replied, his voice oml I can’t stand hearing him say “🥺哥哥～❤️” I can’t unhear it and ses him the same way again

I was like ??????? And turned out he watched one of the reels in his acc and he was saying 哥哥 to the dog when they were playing (Maybe the dog has siblings idk)

I wanted to dm ivan saying nah ‘one time he imitated my cute tone in a sentence and it was super cute’, but I decided not to I was intrigued and wanted to press inside the acc again to listen to it too, but the dream ended.

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_{bruh I had nothing to do in the evening, I was a bit tired of pokemon, I ate dinner, so I slept at around half past 8, but I woke at around half past 1 am... What am I gonna do with all this time?? (No revision please I hate it) (Had a bucket list of all the shows I kind of wanna watch but I'm unmotivated)}

collecting coupon for roy

（面交代收） #roy #dad #aiden

I was (with my dad??) at a mtr concourse in the evening, there was a miku concert hosting soon herea (literally on the concourse. (the vibe seems Mong Kok East, no platform doors) (but I felt it was at Yau Ma Tei)

Anyways I received a whatsapp chat from Roy (my driving coach). He asked if I am free to help him collect something he ordered, on the concourse later at night. I agreed to help him. (because in the dream I like him)

He told me it would be around midnight. He said around time he would call me to give me more information. And after the transaction he would have someone drive me (to his or my???) home to stay for the night. So I waited for the seller to come meanwhile I was also waiting for the concert to start.

However at midnight/ past midnight I hadn't received my instructions yet. And dad was accompanying me. I told Dad I would come home later because I have things to do. Dad say better come home before 7am, (other than that he didn't say other stuff, and I think even if I come home later I'll be fine, he was chill anyways. The reason I told him was to want him to leave + he would explain to Mum when he went home in behalf of me)

I said yeh ofc (I assumed the transaction would be already done before 7am), and he left.

The concert seemed to be finished. There was no music. I was still at the concourse, waiting. I was slightly worried because I kind of want to leave the station because I was bored, and could come back anytime when Roy called me, but, it was probably past mtr operating hours, so if I left the station, I couldn't reenter the station. So I had to stay.

While I was waiting I was scrolling on my whatsapp. I checked my group chats. One of them had me, Aiden (970) and Adrian (3-day-boy). I accidentally hit the group call button. I didn't hit the end call button right away though. I waited for the call to get through to apologise for the wrong call. But they didn't instantly pick up the call, and I thought it would be awkward, so after like 5 seconds on the call by myself I apologised into the empty (solo) call and ended the call. After ending the call, Aiden messaged in the chat saying this group wasn't needed, and kicked me out of the whatsapp group. (instead of disbanding)

After a while when I was still scrolling whatsapp, the music returned. And Roy messaged me to find a guy who was waving his hand and acting special. (it was already 7am too)

I found a guy waving his arms. He reminded me of Ursmar, but with a bigger build ?? lol anyways I approached him and asked him if he was looking for the buyer, and showed him my chat with Roy.

He then walked me aside to talk more about the transaction. There was a women next to him too, in her 60s? looks rather old and frail (slightly short and quite thin) She told me, these bakery coupons may require their membership in order to be redeemed, and asked if I know the buyer had membership or not. I called Roy on whatsapp. He answered my call right away. He looked professional on the call, with a headset and rather fancy backdrop and transitions (quite fancy as if he was live streaming) Initially I couldn't hear what he was saying. (Also the music got really loud as if the concert was back, and it was difficult to focus on the conversation) Maybe I deafened myself, or he was muted. I told him I couldn't hear him, and he fumbled to fix it, meanwhile I was also hitting different buttons to change my output headphone option. Anyways we quickly solved it, and I asked if he has membership and repeated the situation to him.

(In the dream, I was thinking if he didn't have membership, I had friends who have membership, and if I really wanted to, I can ask my friends to help him redeem the coupon. On the other hand I was wondering if I had helped too much, and I didn't expect it to take such a long time well past 7am, and if I helped once he would ask again in the future. In addition, I was slightly upset/ disappointed because if I knew it would take so long, I could've spent the night at his home and possibly sleep with him aka get fucked for the night before meeting the seller. Especially when Dad let me free, and Mum wasn't here in the dream at all. Such a missed opportunity * sigh *)(<— all thoughts in the dream, but holds true even after I woke up lol...)

anyways before he responded anything, the dream ended.

— _{I was playing relatively loud music on my phone next to my bed while asleep though. Also rather unfortunate that I was thinking of Arthur while playing those love themed music, but I dreamt of Roy. Sorry Arthur! LMAO I feel so bad LMAOO I feel like as if I'm stepping onto so many boats at the same time, but in fact there are no boats because these are all imagined intimate romantic relationships.}

—- _{finally slept at around 7:30am. I have beaten another pokemon gym, it’s starting to get boring.}

last chinese lesson before public exam

#pblmate #secschool _{tbh i think it’s because mainland gaokao is about to start (like tmr??) so i dreamt of something related. The dream was boring so I’ll skim through it}

Last chinese lesson The classroom was full But our teacher hasn’t arrived After like 10-20 minutes, at the :16 mark our monitor, Heidi, decided to go upstairs to grab our workbooks from the shelf because we needed to anyways They decided if they came back too late at :27 they’ll probably skip the lesson So a bunch of people went upstairs with our monitor There were only three people remaining in the room, including me. I was sitting at the back corner furthest away from the door, just like back in f6. In front of me was Matthew, _{(uni PBLmate, had appeared in one of my recent dreams exploring hotel too, wait OMG he’s the other guy who was going on the macau trip with sus guy)} At the other side of the classroom there was a girl. _{(I found her really familiar in my uni chinese tutorial class, I was wondering yesterday during class that maybe we have met in previous unrelated tutorials.)}

After a long while, our teacher came. She was doing chinese exercises with us. Since I sat right behind Matthew, I leaned closer to his seat. He looked back at me and our faces were very close. I got a bit closer until it’s like 1-2 finger distance, so … 3cm?

He didn’t flinch, neither did I. After a while, I decided he wasn’t embarrassed because he didn’t look away or did a nervous chuckle or anything, so maybe he wasn’t interested in me. So I made distance and leaned back to my seat. (* To clarify I am not interested in him both irl and in the dream aaaaaa idk what am I dreaming bruhhshshshhaha) _{(very interesting i think maybe it’s related to that one time I leaned on the sofa thing to look at Arthur’s face, it’s not THAT close though =_=)}

Anyways I withdrew and we continued working on the worksheet. I was jotting notes with many different coloured pens, so maybe that’s why the teacher kept skipping me when asking questions, because she knew I was paying attention. _{(maybe this is related to how the tutor in my chin tutorial didn’t ask me questions because I was late to class and I haven’t signed the attendance yet, so he didn’t know I was here, so he skipped my name. I signed it back after class though, cuz the guy allowed it)}

After a while each of us had to answer one paraphrase question, as there were 3 questions for 3 people. We have to change the sentence to not use the “不得不” in the original sentence. The girl’s answer to her question was meh. But ngl it was rather difficult. I answered my question very well. It was also a difficult question. The original sentence has an attached photo, of Alexander the Great’s right shoulder slightly broken, left shoulder almost gone, both arms were holding a fried chicken because he was hungry and wanted to eat. Something along the lines of 由於亞歷山大失去左肩，他不得不用右手托著拿著炸雞排的左手。 ？？ Anyways i had to paraphrase that and did it successfully (bro i forgot my sentence already) And I got praised by the teacher, I felt happy and content. Also felt a sense of motivation.

Around 5 minutes later we heard a crowd of people outside, but they seemed hesitant to enter the classroom. I heard them putting down our workbooks at the umbrella rack by the door in the corridor, and they left. Probably because they thought they were too late, and they have the necessary knowledge in their workbooks already, so they didn’t need to attend class and waste their time.

We continued having class after that. Finally the class ended and we thanked our teacher. I bowed to the teacher before heading to the door. Dream ended.

_{(this chinese high school teacher was one of the only few who still gave us support during study leave, recorded videos explaining our marked exercises for each of us. I got at least 10 marks improved just during study leave – well the help from my friend M also contributed. The rest of the teachers just abandoned our class. So sad.)}

— I think I had some other dreams too, but they were more fuzzy.

waiting for Mum at hotel

#dad #mum Dad Mum and I were travelling. It was at night so we were returning to the hotel. About to enter the lift in hotel lobby. Mum decided she had to buy something? So she left. We waited so long for Mum partly because she was leaving/ entering at another entrance of the hotel and got herself lost. And she buy stuff very slowly. Me and Dad were slowly losing our patience. Dream probably ended here. _{Mum always had to go buy extra stuff when we were walking home every single day. It was annoying. Because usually I was already having a long day at school, carrying a heavy schoolbag, and she decided to shop at multiple supermarkets for hours, despite already shopped for groceries. If not, she would go to dessert shops to have a look. Or maybe she’ll go to those small pharmacies to buy toilet paper- wait so she’s borrowing me as her labourer? (I now seldom walk together. Partly because I now have the home key I can leave early. It was back in primary/ junior secondary when this situation was the worst)}

_{Side note: usually I kind of see why some themes appear in the dreams, so I used small font to share my interpretation. Idk if it’s useful or not. Or should I keep it as a literal dream log. Because the thing is over time I’ll forget the real life context, so I’ll forget why I dream about certain things if I reread it perhaps a week later. :)}

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I just want to stay in the hotel room all day with this bouncy bed and cozy bed sheets.

finding seats, solo revision

#arthur #secschool #uni

went to a shopping mall/ chiwah learning commons sort of place, there was a crowded mcdonalds, everyone was busy studying.

As the mcdonalds was full, I went to a bench at the corridor of the shopping mall I was sitting next to some other uni students i guess

I think Arthur walked by, promoting some sort of event. coincidentally I left the bench when he went to chat with the people at my bench He was probably sharing some case studies and the case was me

after chatting with hte people at the bench, he saw im not too far off from the bench, so he glided to me and ask if im alright, before gliding away (?

Later I went back to the mcdonalds, wanting to find seats. I saw my friend, Jenny. _{(Super nice high school classmate/ uni classmate, gave me her notes, helped me a lot in my revision.. aaaa)} We decided to find seats together. Jenny found a nice seat for both of us. Right after Jenny put her water bottle to “claim” the place, she left to move other stuff/ order food, and immediately a group of people came and took up the rest of the seats. I have no seat. I am not that shocked tbh. I felt like I'm used to this.

I walked away from the mcdonalds and back to my bench in the mall. some new people were on the bench, they were chatting so happily until I came. They shut their mouth and no one talked. I felt embarrassed and ashamed because I made them stopped talking.

One of the new people (Trini, a schoolmate irl), suggested going to explore, and head to the mcdonalds direction. As I just came back, I didn't go along and stayed at the bench. The rest of the group went, except from another boy, who was from the original people on the bench.

— After a while I dreamt I was walking on the street next to my home at night, revising and memorising some piece of notes. (It was the same dream)

Later I was back in my room, and I was making a new live2d model for streaming. (to put it in simple terms, making a new anime style motion capture avatar to show during my streams) While I was adjusting the base model I realised the facial expression of the avatar is... rather seductive. Although it was mimicking my facial expression, but the avatar looks nicer. So I locked my door and began to masturbate...

After a while I decided I have no time and I started to catch up with the only lecture I haven't watched. Lecture 91. (There was 93 lectures but I went to the final two in person, and 91 is the last e-learning)

After watching, the laptop screen turned dark (video ended), and the dream faded away and I woke.

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Hashtags to sort the dreams (and for me to remember what tags I have used)

• Family #mum #dad #relative

• mmmmm #T _{(<— tag for other Ts)}: #ruth #arthur #roy (driving coach); #cora #teacher –> #jau (f2 classmistress); #blythe (f2 science/ physics teacher) _{<— younger me used to ship them, bruh, but blythe is happily married} –> #cch (f3-4 classmistress); #mwong (f3-4 fmath teacher) _{<— two good friends}

• Good friends #ivan #charlottec

• Friends #onlinefrd #primschool :#cecilia #caitlyn #secschool –> #6grass (squad): #charlotteh #jamie –> F5-6: #sally #uni #pblmate –> Y1: #aiden (970) #adrian (3 day boy) –> Y2: #chinok (rhythm game boy) #joseph (nice voice boy) –> roommate: #claudia

• others #A #jy

room revision

#uni My own bedroom was open for people to come to do revision At very early in the morning, a group of three mbbs students of a higher form came and took some seats. And used the other seats to put their bags and study materials. I was left with one seat for myself, which was the one I was sitting on.

Later another girl came, she belonged to the group too.. She came and sat on my bed since there were no other seats.

I was kinda pissed because this room wasn’t really open for outsiders. I mean they can come but they seemed so rude and arrogant to move and rearrange my chairs to fit their usage when I am also using?

I wanted to get a few chairs back for my own use. I tapped the new girl on her shoulder. I told her don’t sit on my bed and put her stuff everywhere. She looked at me innocently. So I thought maybe I was too rude and so I continued my sentence to say I can help her tidy her stuff and ask her friends to allocate one chair for her to put her stuff on, so that she doesn’t need to use the bed. She thanked me.

So yeah I didn’t ask for the chairs back… it’s my own room…

group revision; motorcycle race

#secschool #arthur (? just a vibe though) Had a group revision session, 4 in a group. Because mutual surveillance was an effective approach to monitor students revision. They would feel ashamed for not working when they see the other three working.

Later on we went to a racecourse competition venue to watch a motorcycle race. I was rooting for one particular motorcycle. It won in the first round, where motorcycles compete against each other. In the second round, it had to compete with cars, so it changed its engine into something more powerful.

It was leading, and sometimes head to head with another car. But towards the near end the driver got too ambitious? Or anxious, that they didn’t brake and drift the motorcycle properly so it slightly crashed. They immediately continued the race but then the driver was too eager to get champion so they just drive wildly. It wasn’t following the racecourse. They took two wrong turns into other routes. They later u-turned and recrossed the finishing line. They got champion.

One person asked me, how come they didn’t follow the route and still got champion? I thought they’d get disqualified. I explained to him the lines on the racecourse are equidistant so even if they took a wrong turn, as long as they drive the same distance by following the lines, it was still valid _{(now idk if it’s true irl but in the dream this is a very true piece of trivia lmao)}

Later our group assembled and we were going to do other tasks. I remembered counting how many groupmates that were newly joining us since we combined groups after assembly

For some reason I was counting the capes which were hanging on a board. One cape means one member.

I counted 16 but I think there’s more. Another guy, probably the group leader (guide) (Arthur vibe but because I was too introverted in the dream I didn’t look up to see who’s face was that), chuckled and said there’s more I looked at the back and there’s more indeed, but my group was walking down and I had to get going so I didn’t count

While I was walking down I was chanting something with my groupmate. It was some sort of onomatopoeia of two syllables. In the dream it meant chiikawa’s capes. But I knew it was just nonsense syllables. It was fun to sing though.

We walked down the stairs. Oh I remembered my groupmates were all rilakkuma. Lmao Anyways we had to stay silent to walk through the corridor, where different people were using the rooms behind those doors, because we were weird and we didn’t want to catch their attention. We held our breath and walked through. The first few doors were fine and they were closed, we can see their silhouettes projecting on the corridor wall though (physics doesn’t make sense), the one closest to the beginning of corridor had devil horns. (the doors were dusty pink fyi). The last door was slightly open. At the last door we saw ny chinese history teacher, wsm, drawing something on the whiteboard. It was an acupuncture diagram of humans. Outside the room on the wall was a fabric board with many oddly organised pins pinning on different acupuncture sites. They were so organised in a way that’s like along very straight lines and diagonals. It reminded me of those schizophrenic “enlightening” art

I told my groupmates to move along faster and head to the toilet at the end of the corridor. They were so slow. Wsm noticed us. He peeked outside the corridor to look at us, his actions were robotic and his very direct and lifeless gaze was eerie. We ran inside the toilet Wsm followed us. I noticed the wsm by the door was still watching us. So there were two copies of wsm.

I yelled and told my groupmates to shut the toilet door. They shut it. But the toilet door was 1/3 shorter in width than the opening of the door, aka there was still 1/3 un-closable part of the door. It’s just shorter !!!!!

Kind of scared and started to panic And then I woke up.

_{* the corridor reminded me of wellness team ground floor, but horizontally mirrored, so like in the dream I walked downstairs from the motorcycle arena to the floor, and I turned left instead of right to walk the corridor.}

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shower revision

All I remember is putting my revision notes on my toilet next to the shower. And I would open my shower door from time to time to peek at my revision notes to memorise it. I remembered the stack of note was literally the one I printed a few days ago. I haven't finished reading it since it was 34 pages long. (already very condensed) (I downloaded it off our goddisk (common drive for study resources)

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I woke at 9:20. And I thought what a nice time! I finally woke in a reasonable time (though my alarm is 7:20). And then I closed my eyes again to revisit the shower revision dream for the dream log. But I fell asleep. BRUH. And now I got the following dreams to write ,,,,!!! Annoying. And I woke at 12:40. After writing the whole entry it is past 1pm now.

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Thailand trip; exhibition hall puzzle; roasting A

#mum #dad #A #secschool Trip to Thailand, organised by Mum After getting off plane? ship?? literally idk, and stepping foot onto Thailand, Mum told us we would walk up the mountain to reach our hotel. _{(Think like the slope in CUHK, and we started at the foot of the hill and our hotel was near the top)} I asked my mum where was our hotel, because she hadn't mentioned it at all, and maybe because it was close that's why she suggested walking. Plus, I see some people queuing nearby, which, according to my another dream at this nearly identical location, was a shuttle bus stop.

She said it's somewhere in the mountains. I was like whatt and you suggested walking?? How about taking the shuttle instead.

She didn't look pleased. _{(She always doesn't look pleased at my suggestions, and at last she'll like it and take them as her original idea. It happened with my mask. She hated me buying a new design of the mask and also said it was so thin and bad, I shouldn't buy. She wouldn't use it. She said I gotta pay for it myself (but eventually she paid for it too) Guess what! She opened the package when I wasn't there and she tried this mask and claimed this one is the best and she only uses this type now! She doesn't use the one she usually pick !!!! bro!! I only have one pack because I thought only I'd use so I bought little !!!! And now I have to share with her!!! And she denied she disliked the mask at the beginning. She said, “what, I said I liked it! I wanted to buy it! Why didn't you buy more for yourself!” I'm just so fed up)} I said see the shuttle is coming. (Indeed a bus was arriving at the station). It's so near! So we walked quickly to catch the shuttle. We got in.

Since we were the last to get in, we get the seats at the back. Actually it was a “room” in the bus. There are four bidets in the room with no doors and walls.

Later I got off. (I wasn't sure if my family got off too). I arrived at an exhibition centre. Today's event is Children's carnival? Where a lot of companies were selling their kid's toys. I went to a giant booth near the entrance. They were selling magnetic chinese characters kids can stick on the wall and compose their own sentences. There were three types. One was generic colourful blocks like lego, and there are no words on it. but you assemble many colourful blocks to imitate the shape of chinese characters. Second was parts of a chinese words, like 爫 夂 心 亻these. I wanted to assemble 愛, but the kid next to me took away the 心 part so I can only make a 受 _{I think this idea came from a post I was reading on xiaohongshu yesterday, it was about a man sending wechat stickers of 曰十 to make 早 to greet his gf every morning, but eventually his gf told him the full set of sticker was 艹曰十 which was 草} Third was actual magnets with a printed chinese character on itself. The board we were working on during the event was actually pretty interesting. I was originally squatting down with other kids to play with the second type of magnets. There are a lot of messy words, but still generally ordered. And then I stood up. And wow, the middle to top part of the board were all magnets of the third type. And the previous people had made very sophisticated paragraphs with them. The board was full of words. Like millions of ants. wow There were still some space for me to fill in some words. I think they were kind of deliberate because they looked like fill in the blanks. One says, “我最渴望： (blank)(proceed with a large paragraph of other deep stuff)” and then I found two magnets that were unused in any paragraph. So I stuck on that blank spot. It was “自”“由”.

Later I left. While I was leaving Chloe Cheung saw me. A childhood friend. Closest in kindergarten, and one particular year in secondary when we were neighbours again. She started chatting with me. We chatted on our way to the shuttle bus stop (yes gonna take the shuttle although idk where I would be going)

Boarded the shuttle bus. She board it in front of me. A was on the bus. Chloe sat with A. A was smiling at me in a way she was sneering at me that Chloe chose her over me. Anyways I roasted her hard while I was walking to my seat behind them. While I was walking, A yelled, Ouch~ So painful, you hurt me I literally accidentally tapped Chloe only, I roasted her I didn't even touched her, everyone can see on the bus, I won't apologise for things I didn't do, and she should go see a doctor if she's feeling imaginary pain And then I turned to Chloe to apologise for the light tap in front of A, which kinda humiliated A Anyways I kept on roasting her while I was on the shuttle. Maybe I was telling her her actions are incredibly rude to people who cut their thighs. And another girl on the shuttle laughed, she said, I am literally cutting my thigh rn lmao. I looked at her and saw her thigh was rather bloody and the cuts were deep.

garden w Dad, finding new gardens

Dad late for his gathering with his brothers, supposed they meet in the afternoon or noon at Shenzhen, but it was already 5 something pm, almost 6, his bros were finding him on whatsapp Dad looked amused with no guilt/ remorse whatsoever. Before leaving the house, he came to ask me on his whatsapp problem because he said he already replied ok but they didn't seem to respond. I checked his phone and told him he didn't hit the send button.

He sent the message and his bros continued to chat in the whatsapp group So maybe he didn't find it urgent to meet up with them and he walked me around the flower garden instead.

He told me supposed the flower garden was owned by them (the family), but because he was late and irresponsible for everything, he and his bros lost the right to own the garden. He said with a cheeky smile, as if he was “proud” of it. I find it disgusting.

Also the garden is full of big red flowers. Very healthy and pretty. Interspersed were some green watering devices which would auto-rotate and water the plants around it. Looked like a showerhead but somehow in the dream I found it looking like a dick. I stopped to get a closer look. Dad told me another garden had this kind of devices too, but that garden owner used some white cloth, disguised as white flowers, to lightly cover the watering device, so that part wasn't showing.

After that we went to check out gardens that were available for own (sale? rent? idk) There were only around 2-3 available. In the dream we explored the first one. The garden wasn't really big, the size is like a small hall. Actually there aren't flowers in the garden. It was seats. As if like a hall. The seats were ¾ occupied. But it was still kind of spacious.

In the garden there were three animals. Garden owner's pets. One cat, one... maybe hamster?, and one white dog. The environment was slightly messy though. The food is on the floor next to where they laid down. They didn't seem hungry. I used a stick to move the food on the floor closer to their mouth. The cat food looked like diced meat (肉碎), the dog's food is... a piece of human patella (knee cap bone). The cat ate some. The dog ignored me.

While I was strolling, my dad was still next to me. He hadn't left to meet up yet. Bruh.

_{I think it's because Dad actually had a gathering with them in Shenzhen, and he was indeed late (not this much though I think). Mum was scolding him to leave quickly because it's only 30 minutes till meetup time, but he's still at home.}

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return trip from Korea

#secschool #mum I travelled alone to Korea for sightseeing, today was the day I would take the plane to return to HK.

I needed to apply for a “visa” for passing the customs at Korea’s side People told me I needed to use a wechat 小程序 to fill in my personal details, then go to another location for the next step I was confused because I don’t know what’s the name of the 小程序 they were using, and where/ what for next step

Originally planned to do this visa application the day before I leave, but because I didn’t figure it out in the hotel, I was doing it on the metro on the way to the airport

I was kind of lost so I asked a family who’s speaking cantonese on the metro to help

The father was nice and explained to me. The young boy and his mom looked okay too.

During our conversation a 師奶 walked into us, wanting to interrupt our conversation, I just nodded my head while the father continued to talk to me and our convo didn’t stop. Later I saw the woman’s face. It was one of the parents in our dizi class irl, and she’s the kinda annoying and self-centered one who’s into veganism and buddhism _{(oh I remembered my mum telling me they organised a dinner the year when I graduated in order to ask what degree I got into (I was the youngest in the class) and then after my mum answered the group, some congratulated, some were confused they didn’t know what the abbreviation stand for, after my mum explained, the rest of the confused people congratulated too, just except her! She’s making a 🤨 face according to my mum)}

Anyways yeah so I thanked the father

Later I went to a floor in a big station There was a station for making visa (probably) on this floor I wasn’t sure, so I walked around and sit in one of the benches

I met Valerie (f2 neighbour) She brought me to lunch at the canteen downstairs together while I was solving this visa application issue on my phone

There were different restaurants in the canteen- some healthy 米線; KFC; snacks etc We opted for snacks

… forgot what happens next

But I remembered I was lying in my bed again, door slightly open, corridor was dark but eerily my mum’s face appeared within the darkness, looking straight at me. I growled angrily in the dream because she’s doing this creepy shit again

Later I went to jot down my dream. (When I woke up I found that this didn’t happen irl and now I have to write again)

_{But I’m actually confused if the mum’s face is part of the dream or not, because when I really woke up, actually I woke up to my mum entering my room, so I growled again, but she won’t leave, she’s like a robot asking me if I need to turn on aircon, to which I angrily decline, and her hands continue reaching for the button and I growled and bruh she ask me if I want to open the windows I refused again and she continued to walk to my window bruh she’s not listening. Anyways finally after growling and screaming in frustration she left without altering my room. Terrible thing to wake up to. (I mean the fact that I have to scream. Not her.) Seems “going crazy” doesn’t affect her anymore. And she also won’t listen if I am being “normal and reasonable and speak in a normal tone”. She listens to nothing except herself. She lives in her own world.}

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So many dreams every day and they’re not exactly entertaining aaaauuughh I just wanna finish writing and head to studying

high school class

#secschool Morning lessons. In high school. I was sitting front row, second leftmost seat, in front of teacher’s desk (teacher’s perspective would be second rightmost) Aunt Atlex _{(Mum’s friend thatwe go buffet together irl) (doesn’t teach irl)}teaching us … I’m not sure what subject, but she’s using Chinese to teach an English-based subject Classmates were kind of surprised because she was trying to use very layman way to teach difficult concepts, which I think wasn’t bad

Afterwards my BAFS (Accounting) teacher irl, Mrs. Chui, came in. It’s BAFS lesson, but told us to take out our maths textbooks and calculators because she’s gonna teach us maths for BAFS And by teaching maths instead of BAFS she can skip a Mainland study tour she was required to go in the afternoon. We laughed because these F1 study tours were kind of boring and pointless and she’s smart to avoid going

Game server tester

Playing a 3D game again Someone invited me to be a tester for their new map/ game

Point and click on two anime style girls to remove different parts of the drawing- front hair, side hair, limbs, eyes, different parts of the dress etc. The left design was more sophisticated than the right. The right one I directly click the head and whole head gone, but the left one had many hair parts to remove. The right one was darker- black short hair black jk style long dress with red highlights, like a cool assassin; left one was light blonde coloured hair? And pinkish dress kind of like in lolita style. After clicking these parts would disappear. So I clicked till everything disappeared. The story proceeded (new dialogue appeared)

The background was the universe At the place of the two drawings, two “planets” appeared. Upon closer look, one was indeed a planet, the other is a poorly 3D sculpted “thing” of two heads- one women and one men. Sculpting style like those very old classic ones you see in a museum- very western michelangelo ones, but ugly and kind of eerie because they’re just “heads” no “body”

Anyways I can again, point and click to make them disappear As the dialogue box told me the man had died, I coincidentally clicked on his head, so his head was gone, the woman’s head remained

Anyways throughout this whole time my laptop kept being weird as fuck and kept zooming out the universe and lagging. I need to rezoom it with my trackpad

One time it even froze and all my words on the screen are gone, the dialogue and error boxes are empty, system tray empty, taskbar empty, and then an error window popped up, which said nothing, with two buttons, one was empty and another one is “關閉並報警” I just saw the first few words “close” and the button is at the familiar corner where you “ok” and “accept” everything so I clicked it instantly After clicking I processed omg the latter half said “and call the cops” I waited a few seconds to see if new stuff popped up on the screen about calling the cops, nothing happened, I checked my phone, nothing happened, and I got a bit confused and worried what if the laptop is calling silently so I just Alt+F4 and force shut down my laptop And then I restarted it and connected my laptop to power

The zooming glitch still happened from time to time, but nothing as serious as the text bug reappeared

Anyways after that, the game dialogue told me to turn around in game and venture other planets / floating islands, lining up in two columns. Between the columns in the middle, directly in front of the “game host/ god/ dialogue man” was a space station. The dialogue told me to go to the two planets the game had labelled for me But I was lost since every floating place had some sort of label/ lines to indicate their presence. Lines like laser beams connecting the island to the “god” (I can’t tell whether the beams were sent from god or from the island)

Anyways I hopped on a random place

And a gamemaster invited me to join their newly designed game To me, it was like the minigame bedwars in minecraft servers _{(why am I always dreaming about this particular minigame, I don’t play it usually)} Basically you start in teams and you guard your own island, which has your team’s beds for respawning if you die; and you go other islands to try and break their bed and kill them and wipe them out. Last person standing wins for their team

I didn’t tell him my impression of their original game being similar to minecraft (despite the graphics and blocks were very similar) though. The gamemaster seemed kind of cheeky and hard to interpret for me, so I didn’t dare to say it _{(maybe I dreamt it because yesterday night when I was returning home, on the metro was a mid40ish man chatting with a mid20ish guy about… “courses” which can change your poor habits and change your life. Maybe he’s something like a life coach?? But he looked a bit hideous oml, anyways the young guy asked him if it’s related to psychic stuff like souls, and the man was like “our course have incorporated a little bit of psychology”, kind of dodged the question about ghosts and just reassured the boy their courses are 正規, and proceeded to preach about “身心靈健康”… super weird. As if the man was brainwashing the boy. And also sitting nearby was a nicely dressed women who spoke nicely… but to herself… like the speaker announced 本班列車往沙田 and she began to talk to herself explaining to herself now it’s past midnight there’s no train to lokmachau bla bla bla so it is shatin as terminal now etc. originally i was sitting opposite to that woman instead, I didn’t dare to look directly at her, but I thought she wasn’t wearing earplugs and talking to people on the phone because her speech content didn’t seem like what you’d talk about. And she’s using both hands to gesture a lot while she’s making the speech to thin air, as if she was doing a presentation. So I pretended normally and walked away and sat in another bench, and the hard-sell psychic guy sat opposite to me……. Midnight trains were weird. Oh no I diverted the topic, back to the dream:}

Anyways our team won in the first round Second round I was fighting and the dream ended, we were kind of winning though But my laptop was so laggy I went to check if I’m indeed using my dedicated graphics card, but I can’t really understand the icons since the ones in my dream were different than in real life and I can’t pause the game so I had to bear with this poor gaming quality

Anyways that’s it

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